@mbateman
Philosopher at @montessorium (and sibling schools), husband to @Gena_I_Gorlin, father to the creatures in my dadpoasts
📅 Joined: 4/4/2007
🗄️ Archived: 9/14/2024
35.4K Tweets
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25 min of following 1yo, sped up 10x to 2.5 min Nearly zero interference or even interaction as he severally pursued his little side quests I love this age https://t.co/fBraGzrcmy
Report from 5yo’s school https://t.co/6uYFNFWRJC
me: Please do not help [2yo] open the door 5yo: But he can’t do it me: He believes that he can. In this house we abide by Montessori’s maxim of never helping a child with a task that he believes that he can do himself 5yo: But he’s wrong 5yo: That rule is silly
Was hanging a picture 12 feet up and stepped away for a minute and came back to 2yo https://t.co/bSnSzzzQti
How long should I soak cast iron before putting it in the dishwasher? https://t.co/AeVPgL7wnB
We gave 4yo an iPad and set it up to offer her three affordances: 1. Take pictures 2. Type in notes 3. Text with a handful of people (family, a couple of family friends) The last one is the big hit. And it is *amazing*. It is immensely developmentally valuable. Why? Well… https://t.co/96UdKpOS9Z
You will get more insight into the nature of childhood by pondering how an infant could become enduringly enchanted by a personal injury lawyer than you will by taking a developmental psychology class https://t.co/6rFKvscGx3
What happens when you set up a 4yo, whose writing norms are informed by rudimentary phonics and an obsession with stickers... ...with the ability to text her friend, also a 4yo, whose writing norms are informed by obsessively copying out track listings from the backs of CDs? https://t.co/2tDeLD9B3y
me: Show me how to get to this place google maps: Ok, ETA 38 mins google maps: WAIT google maps: I HAVE FOUND A ROUTE THAT SAVES 4 MINUTES AT THE NEGLIGIBLE COST OF TRIPLING HUMAN COGNITIVE OVERHEAD AND STRESS google maps: REJOICE me: Um no that’s— google maps: REROUTING
My 18mo’s inner teacher is apparently telling him “Jump down in a way that risks a fall.” He does this even when he knows how to get down 100% safely. He *seeks* this specific risk. He injures himself often (never seriously). This does not deter him; he tries again right away. https://t.co/wzWej7dlW6
I don’t think schools should teach this, exactly, but they should teach something adjacent to this that makes you aware that this is an important type of civilizational literacy, an awareness that the vast majority of people don’t know they don’t know
…they bring together two things: * A software keyboard, which is tool that makes writing short messages much easier for children, akin to a Montessori movable alphabet * A very real motivational context: communicating with someone she knows https://t.co/mjQilKD6v5
One of the common denominators in the great marriages I’ve seen is that they took the relationship seriously right when they first started “dating”. They either came in with that energy or things escalated very rapidly. It didn’t even look like dating. Dating is low velocity.
4yo: It’s really clean in here, did someone clean? me: Me 4yo: When?? me: Late at night. I did the dishes, swept the dining room, and straightened the living room, as I do every night. And, though I was tired and sick, it made me happy to clean. 4yo: 4yo: I want to clean
This is a book for 4 year olds I hate this so much https://t.co/sM6imi54dU
So many but this one most of all https://t.co/4tZOHMiM82 https://t.co/ce7UNl7AO6
me: Two of my friends are coming over tomorrow to meet you 4yo: What are their names? me: Uh… *realize I only know their twitter handles* me: I actually don’t know, let me find out 4yo: ??? The internet is a strange and wondrous layer of reality
Can you edit a tweet to quote itself? https://t.co/ypnwN1exbr
She will sit and figure out how to compose messages for an hour or two, and carefully parse incoming messages from the day. She will also compose words and short sentences as a sort of school exercise, if you set it up perfectly. But why not take advantage of the real thing? https://t.co/5ImdWqpfFU
One of the few pieces of parenting advice that I’m highly confident in and think generalizes widely across personalities, family cultures, ages: If your child is concentrating on doing something, don’t interrupt. Don’t correct, don’t compliment, don’t join in. Leave them be.
Montessori’s influence on the world is in some ways quite small and specific, and in other ways so utterly victorious that it is invisible by virtue of being taken for granted. https://t.co/GkgRFyx3bE
me: You okay up there? 2yo: https://t.co/tpMNL8Dkyx
You *get paid* to do a PhD in the US. It’s a pittance, so the cost is the opportunity cost of working in a higher paying job. But the actual dollar cost is negative. You do not go into debt! Somehow this myth persists. https://t.co/mSeip5BicA
Finding a very large car free space where a toddler can truly wander is not always easy, though it is usually possible with some effort I do wish urban and suburban spaces had more of this sort of thing (This is the concourse in Golden Gate Park next to the Cal Academy museum) https://t.co/engHc4xS4U
He’s genuinely trying to educate her https://t.co/nktFLk6gkA
Incidentally it’s extremely charming and a great deal of fun for us as parents https://t.co/6NC4jLufYl
Couldn’t find 3yo this morning Right when I was starting to worry I see my wild daughter sitting quietly on the back porch, in pajamas, before sunrise me: There you are 3yo: Oh, hi 3yo: I’m just listening to birds 3yo: It’s nice out here 3yo: *contemplates eternity* https://t.co/yOfihPvLBB
Finally I will say: it is a positive introduction to the internet, to the digital age of communication. The digital world is an important and exciting part of her present and future world. Messages with family/friends allow her to experience what it is and what it affords her.
People hem and haw over “screen time”, and I understand why. But I think it’s a bad concept, partly because it blocks you from fully appreciating the value of the sort of thing I am describing here. This has nothing important in common with braindead cocomelon YouTube shorts.
The best argument for using a Montessori-style floor bed for infants is that it’s hilarious https://t.co/Gblrs5By1V
3yo: I don’t want to go to school. 3yo: 3yo: But… I like school…? me: When it’s school time you don’t want to go. When school’s out you don’t want to come home. When it’s bath time you don’t want a bath. When the bath is over you want to stay in. 3yo: That’s interesting.
Since this is escaping containment: * this does not prohibit asking “do you want help with $IMMINENT_TASK?” * this is about when a child (especially a toddler) is *already* attempting something, or about to * what this prohibits is jumping in and just doing it
5yo: Why do they keep asking me who you are? me: To ensure that you aren’t being kidnapped 5yo: Why is my bag going into that machine? me: To ensure that they aren’t bombs 5yo: Why does that sign say “are you okay?” and “are you feeling safe?” me: Kidnapping again 5yo: ???
me: Wake up, it’s time to go to the airport 5yo: I’m so tired me: Yeah, its very early 5yo: 5yo: 5yo: Every number is close to 100. Because 0 is close to 10 and 10 is close to 20 and 20 is close to 30 and […] 90 is close to 100. Therefore, every number is close to 100.
Friendly reminder https://t.co/udocxkEiBT
Deep down, this is how I think the entire world works https://t.co/4ptEIvSBf3
“Let children text message a few people right at the beginning of their literacy journey” is, having seen it play out, such an obvious, unadulterated win. But almost no one does it. And when I share this story people usually have a mixed reaction: “cool” + “screens meh”
Not sure who needs to hear this but the world is full of couples who are married and functional and in love, and who are completely, happily inoculated against whatever status/SMV/earner/alpha/chad/trad/young/hot/body count/fertility attractor you believe is total and inescapable
Some years ago I heard the late Herb Kelleher, founder of Southwest Airlines, on a podcast. He told a story about how he visited a business class for a Q&A. The students asked how he managed stress. “I dunno? I like the stress.” He was confused. The students were confused.
4yo: Is this real life or a dream? me: Real life 4yo: Why? me: Because you’re awake 4yo: But… in my dream I dream that I’m awake me: There’s an asymmetry: believing you’re awake while dreaming isn’t the same as believing you’re awake while awake 4yo: Daddy it *is* the same
you: twitter isn’t real life twitter: https://t.co/vUFcaNvwlw
Arc of this children’s book: 1. Wolves build brick house; pig destroys it with sledgehammer 2. Wolves build concrete house; pig destroys it with jackhammer 3. Wolves build steel bunker; pig destroys it with TNT 4. Wolves build house of flowers; pig smells roses, reforms So… https://t.co/VZ6P8OIZh6
Found the full eulogizing of Grant by Frederick Douglass that I’ve seen excerpted. His praise is damning for the desecrators of Grant’s statue. Douglass fought villainy *and* honored heroism. He saw the latter as critical for emancipation. Where lives that sentiment today? https://t.co/nb48qYEsko
2yo approaches ocean for first time in his memory. Freezes. me: Is it scary? 2yo: It’s beautiful Sits in my lap for *45 minutes* silently staring. Reverie broken by gulls landing nearby. 2yo: Ducks! me: No, seagulls 2yo: Oh! For the rest of the day he calls them peacocks. https://t.co/yLjEnkPCn4
Is the answer to the question “why is SpaceX seemingly > 1 OOM more effective than any other space company?” just “Elon Musk”? If so, what exactly makes him so insanely effective at SpaceX, even vs. his other companies? If not, I would love to know the actual answer. https://t.co/YofJaNNr1A
People are so used to talking about minimum acceptable outcomes in education that they truly have no idea how high variance educational outcomes can/should be. The top quartile of students can skip grades. The top 2% of students can do an entire multi year curriculum in *weeks*. https://t.co/AUkewKRFjZ
@Gena_I_Gorlin 95% of you are missing out https://t.co/5LTG4BS86R
> Why? Starting with the strictly false: your brain doesn’t feel sparkly. You, the conscious embodied whole organism, might feel something like sparkly (though I must confess to never having felt this way myself). The notion of your brain feeling something is straightforwardly… https://t.co/FBx0sJ92F9
This is basic, 20+ year old functionality. It is so simple and obvious that it is virtually braindead. Offering this sort of simple affordance to small children is the kind of thing we should be eagerly looking to do. But I think we (including me) have a blind spot here. https://t.co/V6xnH8OtLn
Montessori describing a teacher, who saw a small boy who was moving a chair to be able to see into a tall basin, and picked him up and held him instead: https://t.co/Ijo4UB2auC
Uhhh am I the last person on earth to know about this movie? An animated children’s film about a boy learning to illuminate manuscripts in the throes of Viking raids in a 9th c. abbey? And it’s uncomfortably scary, goddamned gorgeous, child appropriate, and genuinely thematic? https://t.co/owY0iURAaH
Don’t know who needs to hear this, but you are allowed, as a parent, to form your own judgments about risk and physically modify the default safety guardrails accordingly https://t.co/CDFy4hduSM
In 30 years, reactionaries will be sharing TikTok videos and memes from 2024 and being like “wow, this was the 20s, notice how happy and well-adjusted and present everyone was?” https://t.co/ldFmxMgJT2
When my 1yo wants something to happen immediately, he’ll say “two, one”, imitating my countdown when the microwave is finishing. Small children treat their first bits of cognition as sacred treasures; they are masters of cargo cult rituals. https://t.co/i5FPaZKsoo
Yesterday 4yo decided to count out loud to 1000. She did it conscientiously and correctly, and it took a little under an hour. At present she’s counting out loud using an invented numbering system that I can’t quite figure out. She’s currently on “thirty twenty two”.
Children need to do stuff like this like they need food and water https://t.co/bktdy3o9t4
3yo: Were you a child when I was in mommy’s tummy? me: No, you didn’t even exist yet 3yo: Where was I when I didn’t exist? me: You weren’t anywhere, we hadn’t made you 3yo: Oh 3yo: But then I found a skeleton 3yo: And I filled around it with water 3yo: And I put skin on it
Met a family this weekend who sent their son to progressive, creativity-centric elementary programs. He’s 13 now, and they asked him what he wanted for middle school. “I just want a school where the teachers know things and will explain the answers.” Common and worth reflection
For almost any big project, my two most common unblocking questions are: 1. How would I do this, as intelligently as possible, with years of time and unlimited money? 2. How would I do this, as stupidly as possible, in very little time and with very little money?
How I parent in a nutshell: 4yo wasn’t independently getting dressed in the morning Got her a (cheap) vanity, coupled to a new routine of placing her clothes for the next day there before bed, got her excited about this set of things 2 weeks in, it seems to have worked
Bit of a tangent but CGI, even at Disney/Pixar levels, is plainly inferior to quality hand drawn animation. Once you see it you can’t unsee it, and it’s mystifying to me why more people don’t see it. https://t.co/gPZGJJ162E
me: We’re putting a lock on your door for when you have trouble staying in your room after bed. 3yo: Ok! > next morning me: *forcibly breaks out of our bedroom* me: Did you put this on our door?? 3yo: Yes. It’s only for if you’re having trouble staying in your room at night. https://t.co/cPmC0L6lJx
This pattern obtained for my daughter throughout the age of 3: her: [says something] interlocutor: [mishears, or asks her to repeat or clarify] her: [immense frustration/rage] I remember the exact moment that she first instead calmly replied, “That’s not exactly what I said.”
A friend of mine once said: If all you do is A/B test what your users want: With adults, you get gambling or pornography. With children, you get Roblox. https://t.co/crAAarPUNX
Totally normal and lovely print of a landscape painting in the living room of my friend’s house except he generated it with a Dall-E prompt https://t.co/f8KuZ3cG5n
Had a religious experience. Montessorium did a Friday forum where the students showed off their work. 5yo chose the stamp game. She introduced it and then demonstrated 9748 ÷ 4. It took her 30 minutes of intense concentration. https://t.co/GqMCdfrBj1
I *love* that everyone is trying to meme their dream partners into existence with objective list theory and wouldn’t dissuade anyone from this exercise, but: Almost every enduring couple I know found it fairly surprising what traits in a partner ended up making for a great match