Matt Bateman
@mbateman
Philosopher, formerly @guidepostschool, husband to @Gena_I_Gorlin, father to the creatures in my dadpoasts
Austin, TX
Joined: 4/4/2007
Archived: 9/14/2024
27.5K Tweets
24.6K Followers
967 Following
64.2K Likes
@mbateman
Philosopher, formerly @guidepostschool, husband to @Gena_I_Gorlin, father to the creatures in my dadpoasts
Austin, TX
Joined: 4/4/2007
Archived: 9/14/2024
27.5K Tweets
24.6K Followers
967 Following
64.2K Likes
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25 min of following 1yo, sped up 10x to 2.5 min Nearly zero interference or even interaction as he severally pursued his little side quests I love this age https://t.co/fBraGzrcmy
Shot, chaser https://t.co/WfRPZH5z1Q
How long should I soak cast iron before putting it in the dishwasher? https://t.co/AeVPgL7wnB
We gave 4yo an iPad and set it up to offer her three affordances: 1. Take pictures 2. Type in notes 3. Text with a handful of people (family, a couple of family friends) The last one is the big hit. And it is *amazing*. It is immensely developmentally valuable. Why? Well… https://t.co/96UdKpOS9Z
4yo now deploying “perhaps”, as in, “I will leave this leaf here for a creature to eat—perhaps a caterpillar” Hardest part of being a parent is not bursting with delighted laughter and smothering them with hugs every time they speak
My parenting campaign to use the terms “wise” and “foolish” with the children has finally paid off: 4yo asked “Is that wise?” when I was trying to lift a very heavy box. (It was not wise.)
You will get more insight into the nature of childhood by pondering how an infant could become enduringly enchanted by a personal injury lawyer than you will by taking a developmental psychology class https://t.co/6rFKvscGx3
> these are normal prices in the UK Yeah but your country is tiny and my understanding is that you traverse it primarily by horse drawn carriage
This went on for another 25 minutes, I just got tired of holding up the phone
What happens when you set up a 4yo, whose writing norms are informed by rudimentary phonics and an obsession with stickers... ...with the ability to text her friend, also a 4yo, whose writing norms are informed by obsessively copying out track listings from the backs of CDs? https://t.co/2tDeLD9B3y
me: Show me how to get to this place google maps: Ok, ETA 38 mins google maps: WAIT google maps: I HAVE FOUND A ROUTE THAT SAVES 4 MINUTES AT THE NEGLIGIBLE COST OF TRIPLING HUMAN COGNITIVE OVERHEAD AND STRESS google maps: REJOICE me: Um no that’s— google maps: REROUTING
My 18mo’s inner teacher is apparently telling him “Jump down in a way that risks a fall.” He does this even when he knows how to get down 100% safely. He *seeks* this specific risk. He injures himself often (never seriously). This does not deter him; he tries again right away. https://t.co/wzWej7dlW6
> You’re born alone and you die alone You’re born into the arms of people who love you with the intensity of a thousand suns and you die enmeshed in a lifetime’s worth of intimacy and connection of your own design
I don’t think schools should teach this, exactly, but they should teach something adjacent to this that makes you aware that this is an important type of civilizational literacy, an awareness that the vast majority of people don’t know they don’t know https://t.co/IP432BdNkG
@Manhunter__ @Gena_I_Gorlin This is below average suicidal for him
…they bring together two things: * A software keyboard, which is tool that makes writing short messages much easier for children, akin to a Montessori movable alphabet * A very real motivational context: communicating with someone she knows https://t.co/mjQilKD6v5
A surgeon friend told me that the digestive tract is more the exterior of the body than the interior Haunting
One of the common denominators in the great marriages I’ve seen is that they took the relationship seriously right when they first started “dating”. They either came in with that energy or things escalated very rapidly. It didn’t even look like dating. Dating is low velocity.
@bcYOUNGbruh @Gena_I_Gorlin Humans are primates exhibit 294728
This is a book for 4 year olds I hate this so much https://t.co/sM6imi54dU
So many but this one most of all https://t.co/4tZOHMiM82 https://t.co/ce7UNl7AO6
me: Two of my friends are coming over tomorrow to meet you 4yo: What are their names? me: Uh… *realize I only know their twitter handles* me: I actually don’t know, let me find out 4yo: ??? The internet is a strange and wondrous layer of reality
Somewhere in Mojave
She will sit and figure out how to compose messages for an hour or two, and carefully parse incoming messages from the day. She will also compose words and short sentences as a sort of school exercise, if you set it up perfectly. But why not take advantage of the real thing? https://t.co/5ImdWqpfFU
Can you edit a tweet to quote itself? https://t.co/ypnwN1exbr
One of the few pieces of parenting advice that I’m highly confident in and think generalizes widely across personalities, family cultures, ages: If your child is concentrating on doing something, don’t interrupt. Don’t correct, don’t compliment, don’t join in. Leave them be.
You *get paid* to do a PhD in the US. It’s a pittance, so the cost is the opportunity cost of working in a higher paying job. But the actual dollar cost is negative. You do not go into debt! Somehow this myth persists. https://t.co/mSeip5BicA
Montessori’s influence on the world is in some ways quite small and specific, and in other ways so utterly victorious that it is invisible by virtue of being taken for granted. https://t.co/GkgRFyx3bE
4yo, who has been interested in question marks, asked if there was also a “statement mark” I really enjoy how children surface asymmetries in language
Finding a very large car free space where a toddler can truly wander is not always easy, though it is usually possible with some effort I do wish urban and suburban spaces had more of this sort of thing (This is the concourse in Golden Gate Park next to the Cal Academy museum) https://t.co/engHc4xS4U
He’s genuinely trying to educate her https://t.co/nktFLk6gkA
@Willrandship Yeah makes perfect sense, happy for them
Incidentally it’s extremely charming and a great deal of fun for us as parents https://t.co/6NC4jLufYl
Couldn’t find 3yo this morning Right when I was starting to worry I see my wild daughter sitting quietly on the back porch, in pajamas, before sunrise me: There you are 3yo: Oh, hi 3yo: I’m just listening to birds 3yo: It’s nice out here 3yo: *contemplates eternity* https://t.co/yOfihPvLBB
Finally I will say: it is a positive introduction to the internet, to the digital age of communication. The digital world is an important and exciting part of her present and future world. Messages with family/friends allow her to experience what it is and what it affords her.
@zeromega64 @Gena_I_Gorlin Dunno about mom but dad was on his phone the whole time
People hem and haw over “screen time”, and I understand why. But I think it’s a bad concept, partly because it blocks you from fully appreciating the value of the sort of thing I am describing here. This has nothing important in common with braindead cocomelon YouTube shorts.
3yo: I don’t want to go to school. 3yo: 3yo: But… I like school…? me: When it’s school time you don’t want to go. When school’s out you don’t want to come home. When it’s bath time you don’t want a bath. When the bath is over you want to stay in. 3yo: That’s interesting.
The best argument for using a Montessori-style floor bed for infants is that it’s hilarious https://t.co/Gblrs5By1V
“Let children text message a few people right at the beginning of their literacy journey” is, having seen it play out, such an obvious, unadulterated win. But almost no one does it. And when I share this story people usually have a mixed reaction: “cool” + “screens meh”
One of my strange beliefs is that it is objectively better to be an extrovert.
Some years ago I heard the late Herb Kelleher, founder of Southwest Airlines, on a podcast. He told a story about how he visited a business class for a Q&A. The students asked how he managed stress. “I dunno? I like the stress.” He was confused. The students were confused.
Friendly reminder https://t.co/udocxkEiBT
4yo: Is this real life or a dream? me: Real life 4yo: Why? me: Because you’re awake 4yo: But… in my dream I dream that I’m awake me: There’s an asymmetry: believing you’re awake while dreaming isn’t the same as believing you’re awake while awake 4yo: Daddy it *is* the same
Not sure who needs to hear this but the world is full of couples who are married and functional and in love, and who are completely, happily inoculated against whatever status/SMV/earner/alpha/chad/trad/young/hot/body count/fertility attractor you believe is total and inescapable
@memirasytecalo @Gena_I_Gorlin You may not like it [though everyone likes it]
I am thankful for having IRL friends who are overanalyzing the propriety and quality of this joke relative to other possible jokes in this possibility space
Is the answer to the question “why is SpaceX seemingly > 1 OOM more effective than any other space company?” just “Elon Musk”? If so, what exactly makes him so insanely effective at SpaceX, even vs. his other companies? If not, I would love to know the actual answer. https://t.co/YofJaNNr1A
Arc of this children’s book: 1. Wolves build brick house; pig destroys it with sledgehammer 2. Wolves build concrete house; pig destroys it with jackhammer 3. Wolves build steel bunker; pig destroys it with TNT 4. Wolves build house of flowers; pig smells roses, reforms So… https://t.co/VZ6P8OIZh6
you: twitter isn’t real life twitter: https://t.co/vUFcaNvwlw
@Gena_I_Gorlin I have come to believe that there’s great cognitive value in strategically telling children philosophical absurdities that they can identify as such
> your 20s aren’t serious, relax > teenagers should be wild and irresponsible > childhood is supposed to be fun and carefree Your 20s are serious, adolescence is serious, childhood is serious, and your life is serious.
People are so used to talking about minimum acceptable outcomes in education that they truly have no idea how high variance educational outcomes can/should be. The top quartile of students can skip grades. The top 2% of students can do an entire multi year curriculum in *weeks*. https://t.co/AUkewKRFjZ
My favorite form of practical reasoning “advice” is what I call Demotivational Interviewing. It looks like: person 1: Ugh I have to go to the dentist person 2: Good news, you don’t have to, you can let your teeth rot
@Gena_I_Gorlin 95% of you are missing out https://t.co/5LTG4BS86R
@nolemonnomelon This illustration is the foundation of a whole children’s book and/or career
Have never watched a Mr. Beast video before he started posting them on twitter and I’m a bit surprised at how much they suck
Found the full eulogizing of Grant by Frederick Douglass that I’ve seen excerpted. His praise is damning for the desecrators of Grant’s statue. Douglass fought villainy *and* honored heroism. He saw the latter as critical for emancipation. Where lives that sentiment today? https://t.co/nb48qYEsko
The further I get into parenting the more it seems like the entire world is one giant conspiracy to rob a child of affordances in every meaningful domain of life
This is basic, 20+ year old functionality. It is so simple and obvious that it is virtually braindead. Offering this sort of simple affordance to small children is the kind of thing we should be eagerly looking to do. But I think we (including me) have a blind spot here. https://t.co/V6xnH8OtLn
> Why? Starting with the strictly false: your brain doesn’t feel sparkly. You, the conscious embodied whole organism, might feel something like sparkly (though I must confess to never having felt this way myself). The notion of your brain feeling something is straightforwardly… https://t.co/FBx0sJ92F9
Don’t know who needs to hear this, but you are allowed, as a parent, to form your own judgments about risk and physically modify the default safety guardrails accordingly https://t.co/CDFy4hduSM
Yesterday 4yo decided to count out loud to 1000. She did it conscientiously and correctly, and it took a little under an hour. At present she’s counting out loud using an invented numbering system that I can’t quite figure out. She’s currently on “thirty twenty two”.
Uhhh am I the last person on earth to know about this movie? An animated children’s film about a boy learning to illuminate manuscripts in the throes of Viking raids in a 9th c. abbey? And it’s uncomfortably scary, goddamned gorgeous, child appropriate, and genuinely thematic? https://t.co/owY0iURAaH
Montessori describing a teacher, who saw a small boy who was moving a chair to be able to see into a tall basin, and picked him up and held him instead: https://t.co/Ijo4UB2auC
When my 1yo wants something to happen immediately, he’ll say “two, one”, imitating my countdown when the microwave is finishing. Small children treat their first bits of cognition as sacred treasures; they are masters of cargo cult rituals. https://t.co/i5FPaZKsoo
In 30 years, reactionaries will be sharing TikTok videos and memes from 2024 and being like “wow, this was the 20s, notice how happy and well-adjusted and present everyone was?” https://t.co/ldFmxMgJT2
Children need to do stuff like this like they need food and water https://t.co/bktdy3o9t4
Startlingly effective AI tutoring is coming. I had thought it was 5+ years out and now I think it’s more like 1 to 3.
3yo: Were you a child when I was in mommy’s tummy? me: No, you didn’t even exist yet 3yo: Where was I when I didn’t exist? me: You weren’t anywhere, we hadn’t made you 3yo: Oh 3yo: But then I found a skeleton 3yo: And I filled around it with water 3yo: And I put skin on it
Met a family this weekend who sent their son to progressive, creativity-centric elementary programs. He’s 13 now, and they asked him what he wanted for middle school. “I just want a school where the teachers know things and will explain the answers.” Common and worth reflection
How I parent in a nutshell: 4yo wasn’t independently getting dressed in the morning Got her a (cheap) vanity, coupled to a new routine of placing her clothes for the next day there before bed, got her excited about this set of things 2 weeks in, it seems to have worked
This pattern obtained for my daughter throughout the age of 3: her: [says something] interlocutor: [mishears, or asks her to repeat or clarify] her: [immense frustration/rage] I remember the exact moment that she first instead calmly replied, “That’s not exactly what I said.”
For almost any big project, my two most common unblocking questions are: 1. How would I do this, as intelligently as possible, with years of time and unlimited money? 2. How would I do this, as stupidly as possible, in very little time and with very little money?
Bit of a tangent but CGI, even at Disney/Pixar levels, is plainly inferior to quality hand drawn animation. Once you see it you can’t unsee it, and it’s mystifying to me why more people don’t see it. https://t.co/gPZGJJ162E
me: We’re putting a lock on your door for when you have trouble staying in your room after bed. 3yo: Ok! > next morning me: *forcibly breaks out of our bedroom* me: Did you put this on our door?? 3yo: Yes. It’s only for if you’re having trouble staying in your room at night. https://t.co/cPmC0L6lJx
I *love* that everyone is trying to meme their dream partners into existence with objective list theory and wouldn’t dissuade anyone from this exercise, but: Almost every enduring couple I know found it fairly surprising what traits in a partner ended up making for a great match
Totally normal and lovely print of a landscape painting in the living room of my friend’s house except he generated it with a Dall-E prompt https://t.co/f8KuZ3cG5n
A friend of mine once said: If all you do is A/B test what your users want: With adults, you get gambling or pornography. With children, you get Roblox. https://t.co/crAAarPUNX
4yo: What’s plexiglass? me: Look, I’ll tell you, but the esoteric moral of this story is that the best defense is a good offense 4yo: What’s reinforced steel?
In general pop neuroscience utterly fails to explain its explananda, and deploying pop neuroscience to 4 year olds makes this comically obvious and for good measure commits a few extra epistemic crimes along the way
If you disagree with your partner about some parenting situation, you don’t actually need to resolve the disagreement. You can instead say “which of us will be responsible for this situation”, and then that person decides.
I tried my hand at baking bread this morning for the first time Coincidentally, 14mo got quite sick I carved him off a hunk of bread He spent 5 hours straight, through naps, crying, walks, sleeping, and doctor’s visit, holding onto and occasionally gnawing the bread https://t.co/gnIG90xyyb
@awelonblue @Gena_I_Gorlin It’s hard to see this at 10x speed but they were perfectly aware and respectful
Yeah this was basically my goal For fun and also because I genuinely think it’s a better, semi-forgotten way of looking at the world https://t.co/YdvZmez8dd
Are you the Tyler or the Paul in your relationship? https://t.co/esvlcef7WV
Yes, easily, by looking at them https://t.co/3fT34pyrQJ
Meanwhile, in dad twitter https://t.co/sey4EpUEh9 https://t.co/jGQeWTdOpN
@Jayessaych She enjoys typing and I try to encourage that bias for various reasons but this is also fun yes https://t.co/QeygEKTkMP
Montessori: “Actually, it is useless to depend upon scolding and entreaties for the maintenance of discipline. These may at first give the illusion of being somewhat effective; but…
Kinda messed up how most OTC drug dosage guidelines are fake, and then there’s Tylenol, where if you double up on it for a day it just kills you
I was skeptical of “you get vitamin D from sunlight” for actual years, because how would a complex molecule travel on massless sun photons, before I bothered looking up how it actually works and begrudgingly admitting that the above quoted ordinary language claim is fine
The popularity of notions like toddler-sized furniture, or alphabets made attractive to and manipulable by small children, are surprisingly recent. Their near universality today is the result of the thinking and advocacy of a small number of developmentalists.
Your periodic reminder that the body also keeps the score for good things, not just trauma
@Tweetsnwhatnot @notfunnyelle Darkness is in my toddler’s top 5 interests
Montessori: “The inert child who never worked with his hands, who never had the feeling of being useful and capable of effort, who never found by experience that to live means living socially, and that to think and to create means to make use of a harmony of souls…
It’s shocking how little wealthy families spend on education. What’s the ceiling, 100k a year per child? 200k? If you want an ultra elite private school and a tutor or two? No one plans years of systematic intercontinental journeys or optimizes acres of land or hires Aristotle.
All I want is to create a system of education that allows every human to fully internalize the wisdom of the classics, the optimism of the 19th century, and the inescapability of entropy. Is that too much to ask?
@pranaysuyash @Gena_I_Gorlin I saw a baby this weekend, which I also miss Every age is the best age
I ran across this again today The optimistic hypothesis is that it’s a timeless but empty complaint The pessimistic hypothesis is that it reflects a steady, decades-long decline in wanting to work https://t.co/1ZpkV59zjV