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This pattern obtained for my daughter throughout the age of 3: her: [says something] interlocutor: [mishears, or asks her to repeat or clarify] her: [immense frustration/rage] I remember the exact moment that she first instead calmly replied, “That’s not exactly what I said.”

I wish I knew what enabled that unlock. General capacity to reflect or manage her feelings? Ability to project a bit more into the future? It’s not like we didn’t model that for her a zillion times throughout the year. But something clicked into place and it was just solved.

Perhaps related: around the same time, when she felt wronged in some way, she became intensely interested in conversationally confronting the specific individual who wronged her. To the point of refusing to talk to anyone else. “Don’t talk to me! I need to talk to [oppressor]!”