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hell: i was so confused i didn’t know why i was there, why i was talking to these people. i felt bitchy and whiny. “waow you’re complaining about being here why are you even here” no felt reason for why i was talking to people
in absence of anything that stirred in me to interact, there was a default part of me that interacted, meanwhile i was screaming “NO NO NO” “i don’t wanna interact” “i don’t know what’s going on” “i don’t feel safe” “i don’t wanna live this way forever”
“i don’t wanna live forever in a way where i am seeking attention without ever knowing what i want” “it’s not worth it anymore yatharth” https://t.co/msiSrGpZ2z
what changed: at some point i went in my cabin and tried to remember my deepest intention “what would it look like if i actually took this seriously?” https://t.co/SLT4rydb3c
at some point i woke up and decided to just follow my body i’d recently been learning about the energy-body from @bonsaioflife, habit-body from Merleau-Ponty https://t.co/X5NDofELoM
just decided to brain off, follow wherever my energetic body actually wanted to go https://t.co/ptZybTtfEq
there’s a way in which when i walked, things felt lighter. weirder just guided by my sense of what i did or did not want to do https://t.co/NMplunl2P5
