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hell: i was so confused i didnât know why i was there, why i was talking to these people. i felt bitchy and whiny. âwaow youâre complaining about being here why are you even hereâ no felt reason for why i was talking to people

in absence of anything that stirred in me to interact, there was a default part of me that interacted, meanwhile i was screaming âNO NO NOâ âi donât wanna interactâ âi donât know whatâs going onâ âi donât feel safeâ âi donât wanna live this way foreverâ

âi donât wanna live forever in a way where i am seeking attention without ever knowing what i wantâ âitâs not worth it anymore yatharthâ https://t.co/msiSrGpZ2z

what changed: at some point i went in my cabin and tried to remember my deepest intention âwhat would it look like if i actually took this seriously?â https://t.co/SLT4rydb3c

at some point i woke up and decided to just follow my body iâd recently been learning about the energy-body from @bonsaioflife, habit-body from Merleau-Ponty https://t.co/X5NDofELoM

just decided to brain off, follow wherever my energetic body actually wanted to go https://t.co/ptZybTtfEq

thereâs a way in which when i walked, things felt lighter. weirder just guided by my sense of what i did or did not want to do https://t.co/NMplunl2P5