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🧵 Thread (25 tweets)

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago

poly is not about escaping committment poly is about the escaping into the commitment that you are going to care about each other no matter what, whether it is as friends, or strangers, or dears or dates

81 11
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

sometimes i cry when i think about poly, because i don’t know any other way to be, except to keep caring about people who have touched me with their soul, and sometimes other parts of them too https://t.co/L0BFUjw8XL

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• about 5 years ago

What I want dating to mean is: being in an already loving relationship with somebody, where I already care about them and look forward to seeing them, knowing it doesn’t come with the expectations or future co-planning that might come with a relationship.

18 0
24 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@maybegray once said something about even if she was in an essentially monogamous relationship, it would still be with the ~spirit of poly underneath it i’ve remembered it to this day https://t.co/Jpg79TeIkW

11 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

it’s not so much seeing other people but rather: - dating yourself first - a cultivation of a relationship that exists outside the container of any relationship - a freedom underlying loyalty https://t.co/Q0SxaHkaBM

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• almost 5 years ago

What is beautiful about dating myself is I still date others, but fundamentally, I am dating myself. I can very close with them, and still poly, because I am also dating myself. The multiple engines of attention and intimacy for myself run. https://t.co/NYbjFUAFRD

80 2
10 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

there is the form of poly (multiple relationships) then there is the essence of it people often get the two confused https://t.co/Qgue9DdZpE

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• almost 5 years ago

When I say dating yourself, I don’t mean - buying yourself flowers - going to restaurants by yourself That’s the more performative kind. I mean:

341 63
3 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

in undergrad, i met someone and moved in with them in the first three weeks, and lived together two years i am not afraid of commitment i find lifelong monogamous commitment a beautiful thing

4 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the poly kind of commitment feels less fragile, antifragile no monogamous relationship is impervious to being broken polygamous relationships (even poly-spirited “monogamous" relationships) are not weaker in their commitment — just more durable in case of fracture

5 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

they feel less like “commitment" as an imposed value and more just as loyalty, earned in a non-naïve way https://t.co/IKlUcqtL0G

2 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

poly does not solve problems it merely replaces one class of problems with another one and sometimes that other class feels more like home https://t.co/i3ZgF5gDry

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• almost 5 years ago

Interesting to pair the above tweet with this one. Poly and mono have different problems, one may even call them higher and lower problems. But there is no nobility in either the higher problems, or the lower problems. There is just the class of problems that feels like home. https://t.co/zTNYxrvRw9

6 0
6 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

what poly is is nothing more and nothing less than a different way to interweave boundaries in this connection thing we do as human beings, any time we are in the same room as anyone else, including with stranger beings https://t.co/L8xzHTXh52

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• about 5 years ago

Co-entrainment is rapidly becoming my organising principle for understanding human interactions.

37 3
5 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

what i’m saying is: i am open to both monogamous and non-monogamous relationships im open to monogamous and non-monogamous people and i fully expect to end up with someone who in principle is compatible with the spirit of poly, even if they use none of those words

4 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

even if they’re never done it before or have no interest in if there is a radical kind of openness and curiosity then the trust, commitment, and self-regard can be developed in relationship with someone else who is secure and has those things

10 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

i love this reply being poly is about levelling up your commitment every time you show up in the same space together even when you’re apart https://t.co/mLgIM9D5eC

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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

Been exploring polyamory in a lot more depth recently Even just discussing this with my wife, one thing that's clear to me is that if it's going to be at all successful, it's more about INCREASING your commitment, even on a per-relationship basis https://t.co/TAzhLnafwa

13 2
2 0
6/6/2021
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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth This was a beautiful thread, thank you 😊

1 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool Your reply makes me feel glad I wrote it. It was a touch more vulnerable for me to write it. Knowing this, and having your brilliant reply-thread feels amazing.

2 0
6/6/2021
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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth Being vulnerable is really the trick isn't it It's also the hardest part * aaaaand that's why "dating yourself" is a powerful frame, woah 😳

2 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool yes. self-allyship in all circumstances is sexy

1 0
6/6/2021
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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth "women are attracted to men in steady committed relationships" https://t.co/bSvXTWFhQV

Tweet image 1
1 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

i love this reply being poly is about levelling up your commitment every time you show up in the same space together even when you’re apart https://t.co/mLgIM9D5eC

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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

Been exploring polyamory in a lot more depth recently Even just discussing this with my wife, one thing that's clear to me is that if it's going to be at all successful, it's more about INCREASING your commitment, even on a per-relationship basis https://t.co/TAzhLnafwa

13 2
2 0
6/6/2021
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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth This was a beautiful thread, thank you 😊

1 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool Your reply makes me feel glad I wrote it. It was a touch more vulnerable for me to write it. Knowing this, and having your brilliant reply-thread feels amazing.

2 0
6/6/2021
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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth Being vulnerable is really the trick isn't it It's also the hardest part * aaaaand that's why "dating yourself" is a powerful frame, woah 😳

2 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool yes. self-allyship in all circumstances is sexy

1 0
6/6/2021
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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth "women are attracted to men in steady committed relationships" https://t.co/bSvXTWFhQV

Tweet image 1
1 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

poly does not solve problems it merely replaces one class of problems with another one and sometimes that other class feels more like home https://t.co/i3ZgF5gDry

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• almost 5 years ago

Interesting to pair the above tweet with this one. Poly and mono have different problems, one may even call them higher and lower problems. But there is no nobility in either the higher problems, or the lower problems. There is just the class of problems that feels like home. https://t.co/zTNYxrvRw9

6 0
6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

what poly is is nothing more and nothing less than a different way to interweave boundaries in this connection thing we do as human beings, any time we are in the same room as anyone else, including with stranger beings https://t.co/L8xzHTXh52

Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• about 5 years ago

Co-entrainment is rapidly becoming my organising principle for understanding human interactions.

37 3
5 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

what i’m saying is: i am open to both monogamous and non-monogamous relationships im open to monogamous and non-monogamous people and i fully expect to end up with someone who in principle is compatible with the spirit of poly, even if they use none of those words

4 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

even if they’re never done it before or have no interest in if there is a radical kind of openness and curiosity then the trust, commitment, and self-regard can be developed in relationship with someone else who is secure and has those things

10 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

i love this reply being poly is about levelling up your commitment every time you show up in the same space together even when you’re apart https://t.co/mLgIM9D5eC

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

Been exploring polyamory in a lot more depth recently Even just discussing this with my wife, one thing that's clear to me is that if it's going to be at all successful, it's more about INCREASING your commitment, even on a per-relationship basis https://t.co/TAzhLnafwa

13 2
2 0
6/6/2021
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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth This was a beautiful thread, thank you 😊

1 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool Your reply makes me feel glad I wrote it. It was a touch more vulnerable for me to write it. Knowing this, and having your brilliant reply-thread feels amazing.

2 0
6/6/2021
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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth Being vulnerable is really the trick isn't it It's also the hardest part * aaaaand that's why "dating yourself" is a powerful frame, woah 😳

2 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool yes. self-allyship in all circumstances is sexy

1 0
6/6/2021
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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth "women are attracted to men in steady committed relationships" https://t.co/bSvXTWFhQV

Tweet image 1
1 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

i love this reply being poly is about levelling up your commitment every time you show up in the same space together even when you’re apart https://t.co/mLgIM9D5eC

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

Been exploring polyamory in a lot more depth recently Even just discussing this with my wife, one thing that's clear to me is that if it's going to be at all successful, it's more about INCREASING your commitment, even on a per-relationship basis https://t.co/TAzhLnafwa

13 2
2 0
6/6/2021
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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth This was a beautiful thread, thank you 😊

1 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool Your reply makes me feel glad I wrote it. It was a touch more vulnerable for me to write it. Knowing this, and having your brilliant reply-thread feels amazing.

2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth Being vulnerable is really the trick isn't it It's also the hardest part * aaaaand that's why "dating yourself" is a powerful frame, woah 😳

2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool yes. self-allyship in all circumstances is sexy

1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth "women are attracted to men in steady committed relationships" https://t.co/bSvXTWFhQV

Tweet image 1
1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

keywords: poly, non-naïve trust dance, loyalty

0 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

there is the form of poly (multiple relationships) then there is the essence of it people often get the two confused https://t.co/Qgue9DdZpE

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• almost 5 years ago

When I say dating yourself, I don’t mean - buying yourself flowers - going to restaurants by yourself That’s the more performative kind. I mean:

341 63
3 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

in undergrad, i met someone and moved in with them in the first three weeks, and lived together two years i am not afraid of commitment i find lifelong monogamous commitment a beautiful thing

4 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the poly kind of commitment feels less fragile, antifragile no monogamous relationship is impervious to being broken polygamous relationships (even poly-spirited “monogamous" relationships) are not weaker in their commitment — just more durable in case of fracture

5 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

they feel less like “commitment" as an imposed value and more just as loyalty, earned in a non-naïve way https://t.co/IKlUcqtL0G

2 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

poly does not solve problems it merely replaces one class of problems with another one and sometimes that other class feels more like home https://t.co/i3ZgF5gDry

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• almost 5 years ago

Interesting to pair the above tweet with this one. Poly and mono have different problems, one may even call them higher and lower problems. But there is no nobility in either the higher problems, or the lower problems. There is just the class of problems that feels like home. https://t.co/zTNYxrvRw9

6 0
6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

what poly is is nothing more and nothing less than a different way to interweave boundaries in this connection thing we do as human beings, any time we are in the same room as anyone else, including with stranger beings https://t.co/L8xzHTXh52

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• about 5 years ago

Co-entrainment is rapidly becoming my organising principle for understanding human interactions.

37 3
5 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

what i’m saying is: i am open to both monogamous and non-monogamous relationships im open to monogamous and non-monogamous people and i fully expect to end up with someone who in principle is compatible with the spirit of poly, even if they use none of those words

4 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

even if they’re never done it before or have no interest in if there is a radical kind of openness and curiosity then the trust, commitment, and self-regard can be developed in relationship with someone else who is secure and has those things

10 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

i love this reply being poly is about levelling up your commitment every time you show up in the same space together even when you’re apart https://t.co/mLgIM9D5eC

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

Been exploring polyamory in a lot more depth recently Even just discussing this with my wife, one thing that's clear to me is that if it's going to be at all successful, it's more about INCREASING your commitment, even on a per-relationship basis https://t.co/TAzhLnafwa

13 2
2 0
6/6/2021
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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth This was a beautiful thread, thank you 😊

1 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool Your reply makes me feel glad I wrote it. It was a touch more vulnerable for me to write it. Knowing this, and having your brilliant reply-thread feels amazing.

2 0
6/6/2021
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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth Being vulnerable is really the trick isn't it It's also the hardest part * aaaaand that's why "dating yourself" is a powerful frame, woah 😳

2 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool yes. self-allyship in all circumstances is sexy

1 0
6/6/2021
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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth "women are attracted to men in steady committed relationships" https://t.co/bSvXTWFhQV

Tweet image 1
1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

i love this reply being poly is about levelling up your commitment every time you show up in the same space together even when you’re apart https://t.co/mLgIM9D5eC

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

Been exploring polyamory in a lot more depth recently Even just discussing this with my wife, one thing that's clear to me is that if it's going to be at all successful, it's more about INCREASING your commitment, even on a per-relationship basis https://t.co/TAzhLnafwa

13 2
2 0
6/6/2021
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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth This was a beautiful thread, thank you 😊

1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool Your reply makes me feel glad I wrote it. It was a touch more vulnerable for me to write it. Knowing this, and having your brilliant reply-thread feels amazing.

2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth Being vulnerable is really the trick isn't it It's also the hardest part * aaaaand that's why "dating yourself" is a powerful frame, woah 😳

2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool yes. self-allyship in all circumstances is sexy

1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth "women are attracted to men in steady committed relationships" https://t.co/bSvXTWFhQV

Tweet image 1
1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

poly does not solve problems it merely replaces one class of problems with another one and sometimes that other class feels more like home https://t.co/i3ZgF5gDry

Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• almost 5 years ago

Interesting to pair the above tweet with this one. Poly and mono have different problems, one may even call them higher and lower problems. But there is no nobility in either the higher problems, or the lower problems. There is just the class of problems that feels like home. https://t.co/zTNYxrvRw9

6 0
6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

what poly is is nothing more and nothing less than a different way to interweave boundaries in this connection thing we do as human beings, any time we are in the same room as anyone else, including with stranger beings https://t.co/L8xzHTXh52

Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• about 5 years ago

Co-entrainment is rapidly becoming my organising principle for understanding human interactions.

37 3
5 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

what i’m saying is: i am open to both monogamous and non-monogamous relationships im open to monogamous and non-monogamous people and i fully expect to end up with someone who in principle is compatible with the spirit of poly, even if they use none of those words

4 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

even if they’re never done it before or have no interest in if there is a radical kind of openness and curiosity then the trust, commitment, and self-regard can be developed in relationship with someone else who is secure and has those things

10 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

i love this reply being poly is about levelling up your commitment every time you show up in the same space together even when you’re apart https://t.co/mLgIM9D5eC

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

Been exploring polyamory in a lot more depth recently Even just discussing this with my wife, one thing that's clear to me is that if it's going to be at all successful, it's more about INCREASING your commitment, even on a per-relationship basis https://t.co/TAzhLnafwa

13 2
2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth This was a beautiful thread, thank you 😊

1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool Your reply makes me feel glad I wrote it. It was a touch more vulnerable for me to write it. Knowing this, and having your brilliant reply-thread feels amazing.

2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth Being vulnerable is really the trick isn't it It's also the hardest part * aaaaand that's why "dating yourself" is a powerful frame, woah 😳

2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool yes. self-allyship in all circumstances is sexy

1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth "women are attracted to men in steady committed relationships" https://t.co/bSvXTWFhQV

Tweet image 1
1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

i love this reply being poly is about levelling up your commitment every time you show up in the same space together even when you’re apart https://t.co/mLgIM9D5eC

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

Been exploring polyamory in a lot more depth recently Even just discussing this with my wife, one thing that's clear to me is that if it's going to be at all successful, it's more about INCREASING your commitment, even on a per-relationship basis https://t.co/TAzhLnafwa

13 2
2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth This was a beautiful thread, thank you 😊

1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool Your reply makes me feel glad I wrote it. It was a touch more vulnerable for me to write it. Knowing this, and having your brilliant reply-thread feels amazing.

2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth Being vulnerable is really the trick isn't it It's also the hardest part * aaaaand that's why "dating yourself" is a powerful frame, woah 😳

2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool yes. self-allyship in all circumstances is sexy

1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth "women are attracted to men in steady committed relationships" https://t.co/bSvXTWFhQV

Tweet image 1
1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

keywords: poly, non-naïve trust dance, loyalty

0 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

it’s not so much seeing other people but rather: - dating yourself first - a cultivation of a relationship that exists outside the container of any relationship - a freedom underlying loyalty https://t.co/Q0SxaHkaBM

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• almost 5 years ago

What is beautiful about dating myself is I still date others, but fundamentally, I am dating myself. I can very close with them, and still poly, because I am also dating myself. The multiple engines of attention and intimacy for myself run. https://t.co/NYbjFUAFRD

80 2
10 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

there is the form of poly (multiple relationships) then there is the essence of it people often get the two confused https://t.co/Qgue9DdZpE

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• almost 5 years ago

When I say dating yourself, I don’t mean - buying yourself flowers - going to restaurants by yourself That’s the more performative kind. I mean:

341 63
3 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

in undergrad, i met someone and moved in with them in the first three weeks, and lived together two years i am not afraid of commitment i find lifelong monogamous commitment a beautiful thing

4 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the poly kind of commitment feels less fragile, antifragile no monogamous relationship is impervious to being broken polygamous relationships (even poly-spirited “monogamous" relationships) are not weaker in their commitment — just more durable in case of fracture

5 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

they feel less like “commitment" as an imposed value and more just as loyalty, earned in a non-naïve way https://t.co/IKlUcqtL0G

2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

poly does not solve problems it merely replaces one class of problems with another one and sometimes that other class feels more like home https://t.co/i3ZgF5gDry

Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• almost 5 years ago

Interesting to pair the above tweet with this one. Poly and mono have different problems, one may even call them higher and lower problems. But there is no nobility in either the higher problems, or the lower problems. There is just the class of problems that feels like home. https://t.co/zTNYxrvRw9

6 0
6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

what poly is is nothing more and nothing less than a different way to interweave boundaries in this connection thing we do as human beings, any time we are in the same room as anyone else, including with stranger beings https://t.co/L8xzHTXh52

Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• about 5 years ago

Co-entrainment is rapidly becoming my organising principle for understanding human interactions.

37 3
5 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

what i’m saying is: i am open to both monogamous and non-monogamous relationships im open to monogamous and non-monogamous people and i fully expect to end up with someone who in principle is compatible with the spirit of poly, even if they use none of those words

4 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

even if they’re never done it before or have no interest in if there is a radical kind of openness and curiosity then the trust, commitment, and self-regard can be developed in relationship with someone else who is secure and has those things

10 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

i love this reply being poly is about levelling up your commitment every time you show up in the same space together even when you’re apart https://t.co/mLgIM9D5eC

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

Been exploring polyamory in a lot more depth recently Even just discussing this with my wife, one thing that's clear to me is that if it's going to be at all successful, it's more about INCREASING your commitment, even on a per-relationship basis https://t.co/TAzhLnafwa

13 2
2 0
6/6/2021
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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth This was a beautiful thread, thank you 😊

1 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool Your reply makes me feel glad I wrote it. It was a touch more vulnerable for me to write it. Knowing this, and having your brilliant reply-thread feels amazing.

2 0
6/6/2021
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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth Being vulnerable is really the trick isn't it It's also the hardest part * aaaaand that's why "dating yourself" is a powerful frame, woah 😳

2 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool yes. self-allyship in all circumstances is sexy

1 0
6/6/2021
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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth "women are attracted to men in steady committed relationships" https://t.co/bSvXTWFhQV

Tweet image 1
1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

i love this reply being poly is about levelling up your commitment every time you show up in the same space together even when you’re apart https://t.co/mLgIM9D5eC

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

Been exploring polyamory in a lot more depth recently Even just discussing this with my wife, one thing that's clear to me is that if it's going to be at all successful, it's more about INCREASING your commitment, even on a per-relationship basis https://t.co/TAzhLnafwa

13 2
2 0
6/6/2021
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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth This was a beautiful thread, thank you 😊

1 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool Your reply makes me feel glad I wrote it. It was a touch more vulnerable for me to write it. Knowing this, and having your brilliant reply-thread feels amazing.

2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth Being vulnerable is really the trick isn't it It's also the hardest part * aaaaand that's why "dating yourself" is a powerful frame, woah 😳

2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool yes. self-allyship in all circumstances is sexy

1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth "women are attracted to men in steady committed relationships" https://t.co/bSvXTWFhQV

Tweet image 1
1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

poly does not solve problems it merely replaces one class of problems with another one and sometimes that other class feels more like home https://t.co/i3ZgF5gDry

Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• almost 5 years ago

Interesting to pair the above tweet with this one. Poly and mono have different problems, one may even call them higher and lower problems. But there is no nobility in either the higher problems, or the lower problems. There is just the class of problems that feels like home. https://t.co/zTNYxrvRw9

6 0
6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

what poly is is nothing more and nothing less than a different way to interweave boundaries in this connection thing we do as human beings, any time we are in the same room as anyone else, including with stranger beings https://t.co/L8xzHTXh52

Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• about 5 years ago

Co-entrainment is rapidly becoming my organising principle for understanding human interactions.

37 3
5 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

what i’m saying is: i am open to both monogamous and non-monogamous relationships im open to monogamous and non-monogamous people and i fully expect to end up with someone who in principle is compatible with the spirit of poly, even if they use none of those words

4 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

even if they’re never done it before or have no interest in if there is a radical kind of openness and curiosity then the trust, commitment, and self-regard can be developed in relationship with someone else who is secure and has those things

10 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

i love this reply being poly is about levelling up your commitment every time you show up in the same space together even when you’re apart https://t.co/mLgIM9D5eC

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

Been exploring polyamory in a lot more depth recently Even just discussing this with my wife, one thing that's clear to me is that if it's going to be at all successful, it's more about INCREASING your commitment, even on a per-relationship basis https://t.co/TAzhLnafwa

13 2
2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth This was a beautiful thread, thank you 😊

1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool Your reply makes me feel glad I wrote it. It was a touch more vulnerable for me to write it. Knowing this, and having your brilliant reply-thread feels amazing.

2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth Being vulnerable is really the trick isn't it It's also the hardest part * aaaaand that's why "dating yourself" is a powerful frame, woah 😳

2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool yes. self-allyship in all circumstances is sexy

1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth "women are attracted to men in steady committed relationships" https://t.co/bSvXTWFhQV

Tweet image 1
1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

i love this reply being poly is about levelling up your commitment every time you show up in the same space together even when you’re apart https://t.co/mLgIM9D5eC

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

Been exploring polyamory in a lot more depth recently Even just discussing this with my wife, one thing that's clear to me is that if it's going to be at all successful, it's more about INCREASING your commitment, even on a per-relationship basis https://t.co/TAzhLnafwa

13 2
2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth This was a beautiful thread, thank you 😊

1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool Your reply makes me feel glad I wrote it. It was a touch more vulnerable for me to write it. Knowing this, and having your brilliant reply-thread feels amazing.

2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth Being vulnerable is really the trick isn't it It's also the hardest part * aaaaand that's why "dating yourself" is a powerful frame, woah 😳

2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool yes. self-allyship in all circumstances is sexy

1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth "women are attracted to men in steady committed relationships" https://t.co/bSvXTWFhQV

Tweet image 1
1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

keywords: poly, non-naïve trust dance, loyalty

0 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

there is the form of poly (multiple relationships) then there is the essence of it people often get the two confused https://t.co/Qgue9DdZpE

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• almost 5 years ago

When I say dating yourself, I don’t mean - buying yourself flowers - going to restaurants by yourself That’s the more performative kind. I mean:

341 63
3 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

in undergrad, i met someone and moved in with them in the first three weeks, and lived together two years i am not afraid of commitment i find lifelong monogamous commitment a beautiful thing

4 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the poly kind of commitment feels less fragile, antifragile no monogamous relationship is impervious to being broken polygamous relationships (even poly-spirited “monogamous" relationships) are not weaker in their commitment — just more durable in case of fracture

5 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

they feel less like “commitment" as an imposed value and more just as loyalty, earned in a non-naïve way https://t.co/IKlUcqtL0G

2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

poly does not solve problems it merely replaces one class of problems with another one and sometimes that other class feels more like home https://t.co/i3ZgF5gDry

Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• almost 5 years ago

Interesting to pair the above tweet with this one. Poly and mono have different problems, one may even call them higher and lower problems. But there is no nobility in either the higher problems, or the lower problems. There is just the class of problems that feels like home. https://t.co/zTNYxrvRw9

6 0
6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

what poly is is nothing more and nothing less than a different way to interweave boundaries in this connection thing we do as human beings, any time we are in the same room as anyone else, including with stranger beings https://t.co/L8xzHTXh52

Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• about 5 years ago

Co-entrainment is rapidly becoming my organising principle for understanding human interactions.

37 3
5 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

what i’m saying is: i am open to both monogamous and non-monogamous relationships im open to monogamous and non-monogamous people and i fully expect to end up with someone who in principle is compatible with the spirit of poly, even if they use none of those words

4 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

even if they’re never done it before or have no interest in if there is a radical kind of openness and curiosity then the trust, commitment, and self-regard can be developed in relationship with someone else who is secure and has those things

10 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

i love this reply being poly is about levelling up your commitment every time you show up in the same space together even when you’re apart https://t.co/mLgIM9D5eC

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

Been exploring polyamory in a lot more depth recently Even just discussing this with my wife, one thing that's clear to me is that if it's going to be at all successful, it's more about INCREASING your commitment, even on a per-relationship basis https://t.co/TAzhLnafwa

13 2
2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth This was a beautiful thread, thank you 😊

1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool Your reply makes me feel glad I wrote it. It was a touch more vulnerable for me to write it. Knowing this, and having your brilliant reply-thread feels amazing.

2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth Being vulnerable is really the trick isn't it It's also the hardest part * aaaaand that's why "dating yourself" is a powerful frame, woah 😳

2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool yes. self-allyship in all circumstances is sexy

1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth "women are attracted to men in steady committed relationships" https://t.co/bSvXTWFhQV

Tweet image 1
1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

i love this reply being poly is about levelling up your commitment every time you show up in the same space together even when you’re apart https://t.co/mLgIM9D5eC

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

Been exploring polyamory in a lot more depth recently Even just discussing this with my wife, one thing that's clear to me is that if it's going to be at all successful, it's more about INCREASING your commitment, even on a per-relationship basis https://t.co/TAzhLnafwa

13 2
2 0
6/6/2021
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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth This was a beautiful thread, thank you 😊

1 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool Your reply makes me feel glad I wrote it. It was a touch more vulnerable for me to write it. Knowing this, and having your brilliant reply-thread feels amazing.

2 0
6/6/2021
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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth Being vulnerable is really the trick isn't it It's also the hardest part * aaaaand that's why "dating yourself" is a powerful frame, woah 😳

2 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool yes. self-allyship in all circumstances is sexy

1 0
6/6/2021
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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth "women are attracted to men in steady committed relationships" https://t.co/bSvXTWFhQV

Tweet image 1
1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

poly does not solve problems it merely replaces one class of problems with another one and sometimes that other class feels more like home https://t.co/i3ZgF5gDry

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• almost 5 years ago

Interesting to pair the above tweet with this one. Poly and mono have different problems, one may even call them higher and lower problems. But there is no nobility in either the higher problems, or the lower problems. There is just the class of problems that feels like home. https://t.co/zTNYxrvRw9

6 0
6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

what poly is is nothing more and nothing less than a different way to interweave boundaries in this connection thing we do as human beings, any time we are in the same room as anyone else, including with stranger beings https://t.co/L8xzHTXh52

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• about 5 years ago

Co-entrainment is rapidly becoming my organising principle for understanding human interactions.

37 3
5 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

what i’m saying is: i am open to both monogamous and non-monogamous relationships im open to monogamous and non-monogamous people and i fully expect to end up with someone who in principle is compatible with the spirit of poly, even if they use none of those words

4 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

even if they’re never done it before or have no interest in if there is a radical kind of openness and curiosity then the trust, commitment, and self-regard can be developed in relationship with someone else who is secure and has those things

10 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

i love this reply being poly is about levelling up your commitment every time you show up in the same space together even when you’re apart https://t.co/mLgIM9D5eC

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

Been exploring polyamory in a lot more depth recently Even just discussing this with my wife, one thing that's clear to me is that if it's going to be at all successful, it's more about INCREASING your commitment, even on a per-relationship basis https://t.co/TAzhLnafwa

13 2
2 0
6/6/2021
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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth This was a beautiful thread, thank you 😊

1 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool Your reply makes me feel glad I wrote it. It was a touch more vulnerable for me to write it. Knowing this, and having your brilliant reply-thread feels amazing.

2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth Being vulnerable is really the trick isn't it It's also the hardest part * aaaaand that's why "dating yourself" is a powerful frame, woah 😳

2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool yes. self-allyship in all circumstances is sexy

1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth "women are attracted to men in steady committed relationships" https://t.co/bSvXTWFhQV

Tweet image 1
1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

i love this reply being poly is about levelling up your commitment every time you show up in the same space together even when you’re apart https://t.co/mLgIM9D5eC

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

Been exploring polyamory in a lot more depth recently Even just discussing this with my wife, one thing that's clear to me is that if it's going to be at all successful, it's more about INCREASING your commitment, even on a per-relationship basis https://t.co/TAzhLnafwa

13 2
2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth This was a beautiful thread, thank you 😊

1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool Your reply makes me feel glad I wrote it. It was a touch more vulnerable for me to write it. Knowing this, and having your brilliant reply-thread feels amazing.

2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth Being vulnerable is really the trick isn't it It's also the hardest part * aaaaand that's why "dating yourself" is a powerful frame, woah 😳

2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool yes. self-allyship in all circumstances is sexy

1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth "women are attracted to men in steady committed relationships" https://t.co/bSvXTWFhQV

Tweet image 1
1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

keywords: poly, non-naïve trust dance, loyalty

0 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@maybegray once said something about even if she was in an essentially monogamous relationship, it would still be with the ~spirit of poly underneath it i’ve remembered it to this day https://t.co/Jpg79TeIkW

11 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

it’s not so much seeing other people but rather: - dating yourself first - a cultivation of a relationship that exists outside the container of any relationship - a freedom underlying loyalty https://t.co/Q0SxaHkaBM

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• almost 5 years ago

What is beautiful about dating myself is I still date others, but fundamentally, I am dating myself. I can very close with them, and still poly, because I am also dating myself. The multiple engines of attention and intimacy for myself run. https://t.co/NYbjFUAFRD

80 2
10 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

there is the form of poly (multiple relationships) then there is the essence of it people often get the two confused https://t.co/Qgue9DdZpE

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• almost 5 years ago

When I say dating yourself, I don’t mean - buying yourself flowers - going to restaurants by yourself That’s the more performative kind. I mean:

341 63
3 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

in undergrad, i met someone and moved in with them in the first three weeks, and lived together two years i am not afraid of commitment i find lifelong monogamous commitment a beautiful thing

4 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the poly kind of commitment feels less fragile, antifragile no monogamous relationship is impervious to being broken polygamous relationships (even poly-spirited “monogamous" relationships) are not weaker in their commitment — just more durable in case of fracture

5 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

they feel less like “commitment" as an imposed value and more just as loyalty, earned in a non-naïve way https://t.co/IKlUcqtL0G

2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

poly does not solve problems it merely replaces one class of problems with another one and sometimes that other class feels more like home https://t.co/i3ZgF5gDry

Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• almost 5 years ago

Interesting to pair the above tweet with this one. Poly and mono have different problems, one may even call them higher and lower problems. But there is no nobility in either the higher problems, or the lower problems. There is just the class of problems that feels like home. https://t.co/zTNYxrvRw9

6 0
6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

what poly is is nothing more and nothing less than a different way to interweave boundaries in this connection thing we do as human beings, any time we are in the same room as anyone else, including with stranger beings https://t.co/L8xzHTXh52

Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• about 5 years ago

Co-entrainment is rapidly becoming my organising principle for understanding human interactions.

37 3
5 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

what i’m saying is: i am open to both monogamous and non-monogamous relationships im open to monogamous and non-monogamous people and i fully expect to end up with someone who in principle is compatible with the spirit of poly, even if they use none of those words

4 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

even if they’re never done it before or have no interest in if there is a radical kind of openness and curiosity then the trust, commitment, and self-regard can be developed in relationship with someone else who is secure and has those things

10 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

i love this reply being poly is about levelling up your commitment every time you show up in the same space together even when you’re apart https://t.co/mLgIM9D5eC

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

Been exploring polyamory in a lot more depth recently Even just discussing this with my wife, one thing that's clear to me is that if it's going to be at all successful, it's more about INCREASING your commitment, even on a per-relationship basis https://t.co/TAzhLnafwa

13 2
2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth This was a beautiful thread, thank you 😊

1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool Your reply makes me feel glad I wrote it. It was a touch more vulnerable for me to write it. Knowing this, and having your brilliant reply-thread feels amazing.

2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth Being vulnerable is really the trick isn't it It's also the hardest part * aaaaand that's why "dating yourself" is a powerful frame, woah 😳

2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool yes. self-allyship in all circumstances is sexy

1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth "women are attracted to men in steady committed relationships" https://t.co/bSvXTWFhQV

Tweet image 1
1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

i love this reply being poly is about levelling up your commitment every time you show up in the same space together even when you’re apart https://t.co/mLgIM9D5eC

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

Been exploring polyamory in a lot more depth recently Even just discussing this with my wife, one thing that's clear to me is that if it's going to be at all successful, it's more about INCREASING your commitment, even on a per-relationship basis https://t.co/TAzhLnafwa

13 2
2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth This was a beautiful thread, thank you 😊

1 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool Your reply makes me feel glad I wrote it. It was a touch more vulnerable for me to write it. Knowing this, and having your brilliant reply-thread feels amazing.

2 0
6/6/2021
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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth Being vulnerable is really the trick isn't it It's also the hardest part * aaaaand that's why "dating yourself" is a powerful frame, woah 😳

2 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool yes. self-allyship in all circumstances is sexy

1 0
6/6/2021
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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth "women are attracted to men in steady committed relationships" https://t.co/bSvXTWFhQV

Tweet image 1
1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

poly does not solve problems it merely replaces one class of problems with another one and sometimes that other class feels more like home https://t.co/i3ZgF5gDry

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• almost 5 years ago

Interesting to pair the above tweet with this one. Poly and mono have different problems, one may even call them higher and lower problems. But there is no nobility in either the higher problems, or the lower problems. There is just the class of problems that feels like home. https://t.co/zTNYxrvRw9

6 0
6 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

what poly is is nothing more and nothing less than a different way to interweave boundaries in this connection thing we do as human beings, any time we are in the same room as anyone else, including with stranger beings https://t.co/L8xzHTXh52

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• about 5 years ago

Co-entrainment is rapidly becoming my organising principle for understanding human interactions.

37 3
5 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

what i’m saying is: i am open to both monogamous and non-monogamous relationships im open to monogamous and non-monogamous people and i fully expect to end up with someone who in principle is compatible with the spirit of poly, even if they use none of those words

4 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

even if they’re never done it before or have no interest in if there is a radical kind of openness and curiosity then the trust, commitment, and self-regard can be developed in relationship with someone else who is secure and has those things

10 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

i love this reply being poly is about levelling up your commitment every time you show up in the same space together even when you’re apart https://t.co/mLgIM9D5eC

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

Been exploring polyamory in a lot more depth recently Even just discussing this with my wife, one thing that's clear to me is that if it's going to be at all successful, it's more about INCREASING your commitment, even on a per-relationship basis https://t.co/TAzhLnafwa

13 2
2 0
6/6/2021
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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth This was a beautiful thread, thank you 😊

1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool Your reply makes me feel glad I wrote it. It was a touch more vulnerable for me to write it. Knowing this, and having your brilliant reply-thread feels amazing.

2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth Being vulnerable is really the trick isn't it It's also the hardest part * aaaaand that's why "dating yourself" is a powerful frame, woah 😳

2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool yes. self-allyship in all circumstances is sexy

1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth "women are attracted to men in steady committed relationships" https://t.co/bSvXTWFhQV

Tweet image 1
1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

i love this reply being poly is about levelling up your commitment every time you show up in the same space together even when you’re apart https://t.co/mLgIM9D5eC

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

Been exploring polyamory in a lot more depth recently Even just discussing this with my wife, one thing that's clear to me is that if it's going to be at all successful, it's more about INCREASING your commitment, even on a per-relationship basis https://t.co/TAzhLnafwa

13 2
2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth This was a beautiful thread, thank you 😊

1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool Your reply makes me feel glad I wrote it. It was a touch more vulnerable for me to write it. Knowing this, and having your brilliant reply-thread feels amazing.

2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth Being vulnerable is really the trick isn't it It's also the hardest part * aaaaand that's why "dating yourself" is a powerful frame, woah 😳

2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool yes. self-allyship in all circumstances is sexy

1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth "women are attracted to men in steady committed relationships" https://t.co/bSvXTWFhQV

Tweet image 1
1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

keywords: poly, non-naïve trust dance, loyalty

0 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

there is the form of poly (multiple relationships) then there is the essence of it people often get the two confused https://t.co/Qgue9DdZpE

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• almost 5 years ago

When I say dating yourself, I don’t mean - buying yourself flowers - going to restaurants by yourself That’s the more performative kind. I mean:

341 63
3 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

in undergrad, i met someone and moved in with them in the first three weeks, and lived together two years i am not afraid of commitment i find lifelong monogamous commitment a beautiful thing

4 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the poly kind of commitment feels less fragile, antifragile no monogamous relationship is impervious to being broken polygamous relationships (even poly-spirited “monogamous" relationships) are not weaker in their commitment — just more durable in case of fracture

5 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

they feel less like “commitment" as an imposed value and more just as loyalty, earned in a non-naïve way https://t.co/IKlUcqtL0G

2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

poly does not solve problems it merely replaces one class of problems with another one and sometimes that other class feels more like home https://t.co/i3ZgF5gDry

Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• almost 5 years ago

Interesting to pair the above tweet with this one. Poly and mono have different problems, one may even call them higher and lower problems. But there is no nobility in either the higher problems, or the lower problems. There is just the class of problems that feels like home. https://t.co/zTNYxrvRw9

6 0
6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

what poly is is nothing more and nothing less than a different way to interweave boundaries in this connection thing we do as human beings, any time we are in the same room as anyone else, including with stranger beings https://t.co/L8xzHTXh52

Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• about 5 years ago

Co-entrainment is rapidly becoming my organising principle for understanding human interactions.

37 3
5 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

what i’m saying is: i am open to both monogamous and non-monogamous relationships im open to monogamous and non-monogamous people and i fully expect to end up with someone who in principle is compatible with the spirit of poly, even if they use none of those words

4 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

even if they’re never done it before or have no interest in if there is a radical kind of openness and curiosity then the trust, commitment, and self-regard can be developed in relationship with someone else who is secure and has those things

10 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

i love this reply being poly is about levelling up your commitment every time you show up in the same space together even when you’re apart https://t.co/mLgIM9D5eC

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

Been exploring polyamory in a lot more depth recently Even just discussing this with my wife, one thing that's clear to me is that if it's going to be at all successful, it's more about INCREASING your commitment, even on a per-relationship basis https://t.co/TAzhLnafwa

13 2
2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth This was a beautiful thread, thank you 😊

1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool Your reply makes me feel glad I wrote it. It was a touch more vulnerable for me to write it. Knowing this, and having your brilliant reply-thread feels amazing.

2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth Being vulnerable is really the trick isn't it It's also the hardest part * aaaaand that's why "dating yourself" is a powerful frame, woah 😳

2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool yes. self-allyship in all circumstances is sexy

1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth "women are attracted to men in steady committed relationships" https://t.co/bSvXTWFhQV

Tweet image 1
1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

i love this reply being poly is about levelling up your commitment every time you show up in the same space together even when you’re apart https://t.co/mLgIM9D5eC

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

Been exploring polyamory in a lot more depth recently Even just discussing this with my wife, one thing that's clear to me is that if it's going to be at all successful, it's more about INCREASING your commitment, even on a per-relationship basis https://t.co/TAzhLnafwa

13 2
2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth This was a beautiful thread, thank you 😊

1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool Your reply makes me feel glad I wrote it. It was a touch more vulnerable for me to write it. Knowing this, and having your brilliant reply-thread feels amazing.

2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth Being vulnerable is really the trick isn't it It's also the hardest part * aaaaand that's why "dating yourself" is a powerful frame, woah 😳

2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool yes. self-allyship in all circumstances is sexy

1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth "women are attracted to men in steady committed relationships" https://t.co/bSvXTWFhQV

Tweet image 1
1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

poly does not solve problems it merely replaces one class of problems with another one and sometimes that other class feels more like home https://t.co/i3ZgF5gDry

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• almost 5 years ago

Interesting to pair the above tweet with this one. Poly and mono have different problems, one may even call them higher and lower problems. But there is no nobility in either the higher problems, or the lower problems. There is just the class of problems that feels like home. https://t.co/zTNYxrvRw9

6 0
6 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

what poly is is nothing more and nothing less than a different way to interweave boundaries in this connection thing we do as human beings, any time we are in the same room as anyone else, including with stranger beings https://t.co/L8xzHTXh52

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• about 5 years ago

Co-entrainment is rapidly becoming my organising principle for understanding human interactions.

37 3
5 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

what i’m saying is: i am open to both monogamous and non-monogamous relationships im open to monogamous and non-monogamous people and i fully expect to end up with someone who in principle is compatible with the spirit of poly, even if they use none of those words

4 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

even if they’re never done it before or have no interest in if there is a radical kind of openness and curiosity then the trust, commitment, and self-regard can be developed in relationship with someone else who is secure and has those things

10 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

i love this reply being poly is about levelling up your commitment every time you show up in the same space together even when you’re apart https://t.co/mLgIM9D5eC

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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

Been exploring polyamory in a lot more depth recently Even just discussing this with my wife, one thing that's clear to me is that if it's going to be at all successful, it's more about INCREASING your commitment, even on a per-relationship basis https://t.co/TAzhLnafwa

13 2
2 0
6/6/2021
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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth This was a beautiful thread, thank you 😊

1 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool Your reply makes me feel glad I wrote it. It was a touch more vulnerable for me to write it. Knowing this, and having your brilliant reply-thread feels amazing.

2 0
6/6/2021
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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth Being vulnerable is really the trick isn't it It's also the hardest part * aaaaand that's why "dating yourself" is a powerful frame, woah 😳

2 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool yes. self-allyship in all circumstances is sexy

1 0
6/6/2021
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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth "women are attracted to men in steady committed relationships" https://t.co/bSvXTWFhQV

Tweet image 1
1 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

i love this reply being poly is about levelling up your commitment every time you show up in the same space together even when you’re apart https://t.co/mLgIM9D5eC

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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

Been exploring polyamory in a lot more depth recently Even just discussing this with my wife, one thing that's clear to me is that if it's going to be at all successful, it's more about INCREASING your commitment, even on a per-relationship basis https://t.co/TAzhLnafwa

13 2
2 0
6/6/2021
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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth This was a beautiful thread, thank you 😊

1 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool Your reply makes me feel glad I wrote it. It was a touch more vulnerable for me to write it. Knowing this, and having your brilliant reply-thread feels amazing.

2 0
6/6/2021
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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth Being vulnerable is really the trick isn't it It's also the hardest part * aaaaand that's why "dating yourself" is a powerful frame, woah 😳

2 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool yes. self-allyship in all circumstances is sexy

1 0
6/6/2021
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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth "women are attracted to men in steady committed relationships" https://t.co/bSvXTWFhQV

Tweet image 1
1 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

keywords: poly, non-naïve trust dance, loyalty

0 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

it’s not so much seeing other people but rather: - dating yourself first - a cultivation of a relationship that exists outside the container of any relationship - a freedom underlying loyalty https://t.co/Q0SxaHkaBM

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• almost 5 years ago

What is beautiful about dating myself is I still date others, but fundamentally, I am dating myself. I can very close with them, and still poly, because I am also dating myself. The multiple engines of attention and intimacy for myself run. https://t.co/NYbjFUAFRD

80 2
10 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

there is the form of poly (multiple relationships) then there is the essence of it people often get the two confused https://t.co/Qgue9DdZpE

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• almost 5 years ago

When I say dating yourself, I don’t mean - buying yourself flowers - going to restaurants by yourself That’s the more performative kind. I mean:

341 63
3 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

in undergrad, i met someone and moved in with them in the first three weeks, and lived together two years i am not afraid of commitment i find lifelong monogamous commitment a beautiful thing

4 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the poly kind of commitment feels less fragile, antifragile no monogamous relationship is impervious to being broken polygamous relationships (even poly-spirited “monogamous" relationships) are not weaker in their commitment — just more durable in case of fracture

5 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

they feel less like “commitment" as an imposed value and more just as loyalty, earned in a non-naïve way https://t.co/IKlUcqtL0G

2 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

poly does not solve problems it merely replaces one class of problems with another one and sometimes that other class feels more like home https://t.co/i3ZgF5gDry

Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• almost 5 years ago

Interesting to pair the above tweet with this one. Poly and mono have different problems, one may even call them higher and lower problems. But there is no nobility in either the higher problems, or the lower problems. There is just the class of problems that feels like home. https://t.co/zTNYxrvRw9

6 0
6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

what poly is is nothing more and nothing less than a different way to interweave boundaries in this connection thing we do as human beings, any time we are in the same room as anyone else, including with stranger beings https://t.co/L8xzHTXh52

Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• about 5 years ago

Co-entrainment is rapidly becoming my organising principle for understanding human interactions.

37 3
5 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

what i’m saying is: i am open to both monogamous and non-monogamous relationships im open to monogamous and non-monogamous people and i fully expect to end up with someone who in principle is compatible with the spirit of poly, even if they use none of those words

4 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

even if they’re never done it before or have no interest in if there is a radical kind of openness and curiosity then the trust, commitment, and self-regard can be developed in relationship with someone else who is secure and has those things

10 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

i love this reply being poly is about levelling up your commitment every time you show up in the same space together even when you’re apart https://t.co/mLgIM9D5eC

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

Been exploring polyamory in a lot more depth recently Even just discussing this with my wife, one thing that's clear to me is that if it's going to be at all successful, it's more about INCREASING your commitment, even on a per-relationship basis https://t.co/TAzhLnafwa

13 2
2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth This was a beautiful thread, thank you 😊

1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool Your reply makes me feel glad I wrote it. It was a touch more vulnerable for me to write it. Knowing this, and having your brilliant reply-thread feels amazing.

2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth Being vulnerable is really the trick isn't it It's also the hardest part * aaaaand that's why "dating yourself" is a powerful frame, woah 😳

2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool yes. self-allyship in all circumstances is sexy

1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth "women are attracted to men in steady committed relationships" https://t.co/bSvXTWFhQV

Tweet image 1
1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

i love this reply being poly is about levelling up your commitment every time you show up in the same space together even when you’re apart https://t.co/mLgIM9D5eC

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

Been exploring polyamory in a lot more depth recently Even just discussing this with my wife, one thing that's clear to me is that if it's going to be at all successful, it's more about INCREASING your commitment, even on a per-relationship basis https://t.co/TAzhLnafwa

13 2
2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth This was a beautiful thread, thank you 😊

1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool Your reply makes me feel glad I wrote it. It was a touch more vulnerable for me to write it. Knowing this, and having your brilliant reply-thread feels amazing.

2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth Being vulnerable is really the trick isn't it It's also the hardest part * aaaaand that's why "dating yourself" is a powerful frame, woah 😳

2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool yes. self-allyship in all circumstances is sexy

1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth "women are attracted to men in steady committed relationships" https://t.co/bSvXTWFhQV

Tweet image 1
1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

poly does not solve problems it merely replaces one class of problems with another one and sometimes that other class feels more like home https://t.co/i3ZgF5gDry

Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• almost 5 years ago

Interesting to pair the above tweet with this one. Poly and mono have different problems, one may even call them higher and lower problems. But there is no nobility in either the higher problems, or the lower problems. There is just the class of problems that feels like home. https://t.co/zTNYxrvRw9

6 0
6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

what poly is is nothing more and nothing less than a different way to interweave boundaries in this connection thing we do as human beings, any time we are in the same room as anyone else, including with stranger beings https://t.co/L8xzHTXh52

Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• about 5 years ago

Co-entrainment is rapidly becoming my organising principle for understanding human interactions.

37 3
5 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

what i’m saying is: i am open to both monogamous and non-monogamous relationships im open to monogamous and non-monogamous people and i fully expect to end up with someone who in principle is compatible with the spirit of poly, even if they use none of those words

4 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

even if they’re never done it before or have no interest in if there is a radical kind of openness and curiosity then the trust, commitment, and self-regard can be developed in relationship with someone else who is secure and has those things

10 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

i love this reply being poly is about levelling up your commitment every time you show up in the same space together even when you’re apart https://t.co/mLgIM9D5eC

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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

Been exploring polyamory in a lot more depth recently Even just discussing this with my wife, one thing that's clear to me is that if it's going to be at all successful, it's more about INCREASING your commitment, even on a per-relationship basis https://t.co/TAzhLnafwa

13 2
2 0
6/6/2021
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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth This was a beautiful thread, thank you 😊

1 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool Your reply makes me feel glad I wrote it. It was a touch more vulnerable for me to write it. Knowing this, and having your brilliant reply-thread feels amazing.

2 0
6/6/2021
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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth Being vulnerable is really the trick isn't it It's also the hardest part * aaaaand that's why "dating yourself" is a powerful frame, woah 😳

2 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool yes. self-allyship in all circumstances is sexy

1 0
6/6/2021
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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth "women are attracted to men in steady committed relationships" https://t.co/bSvXTWFhQV

Tweet image 1
1 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

i love this reply being poly is about levelling up your commitment every time you show up in the same space together even when you’re apart https://t.co/mLgIM9D5eC

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

Been exploring polyamory in a lot more depth recently Even just discussing this with my wife, one thing that's clear to me is that if it's going to be at all successful, it's more about INCREASING your commitment, even on a per-relationship basis https://t.co/TAzhLnafwa

13 2
2 0
6/6/2021
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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth This was a beautiful thread, thank you 😊

1 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool Your reply makes me feel glad I wrote it. It was a touch more vulnerable for me to write it. Knowing this, and having your brilliant reply-thread feels amazing.

2 0
6/6/2021
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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth Being vulnerable is really the trick isn't it It's also the hardest part * aaaaand that's why "dating yourself" is a powerful frame, woah 😳

2 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool yes. self-allyship in all circumstances is sexy

1 0
6/6/2021
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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth "women are attracted to men in steady committed relationships" https://t.co/bSvXTWFhQV

Tweet image 1
1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

keywords: poly, non-naïve trust dance, loyalty

0 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

there is the form of poly (multiple relationships) then there is the essence of it people often get the two confused https://t.co/Qgue9DdZpE

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• almost 5 years ago

When I say dating yourself, I don’t mean - buying yourself flowers - going to restaurants by yourself That’s the more performative kind. I mean:

341 63
3 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

in undergrad, i met someone and moved in with them in the first three weeks, and lived together two years i am not afraid of commitment i find lifelong monogamous commitment a beautiful thing

4 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the poly kind of commitment feels less fragile, antifragile no monogamous relationship is impervious to being broken polygamous relationships (even poly-spirited “monogamous" relationships) are not weaker in their commitment — just more durable in case of fracture

5 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

they feel less like “commitment" as an imposed value and more just as loyalty, earned in a non-naïve way https://t.co/IKlUcqtL0G

2 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

poly does not solve problems it merely replaces one class of problems with another one and sometimes that other class feels more like home https://t.co/i3ZgF5gDry

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• almost 5 years ago

Interesting to pair the above tweet with this one. Poly and mono have different problems, one may even call them higher and lower problems. But there is no nobility in either the higher problems, or the lower problems. There is just the class of problems that feels like home. https://t.co/zTNYxrvRw9

6 0
6 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

what poly is is nothing more and nothing less than a different way to interweave boundaries in this connection thing we do as human beings, any time we are in the same room as anyone else, including with stranger beings https://t.co/L8xzHTXh52

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• about 5 years ago

Co-entrainment is rapidly becoming my organising principle for understanding human interactions.

37 3
5 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

what i’m saying is: i am open to both monogamous and non-monogamous relationships im open to monogamous and non-monogamous people and i fully expect to end up with someone who in principle is compatible with the spirit of poly, even if they use none of those words

4 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

even if they’re never done it before or have no interest in if there is a radical kind of openness and curiosity then the trust, commitment, and self-regard can be developed in relationship with someone else who is secure and has those things

10 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

i love this reply being poly is about levelling up your commitment every time you show up in the same space together even when you’re apart https://t.co/mLgIM9D5eC

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

Been exploring polyamory in a lot more depth recently Even just discussing this with my wife, one thing that's clear to me is that if it's going to be at all successful, it's more about INCREASING your commitment, even on a per-relationship basis https://t.co/TAzhLnafwa

13 2
2 0
6/6/2021
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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth This was a beautiful thread, thank you 😊

1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool Your reply makes me feel glad I wrote it. It was a touch more vulnerable for me to write it. Knowing this, and having your brilliant reply-thread feels amazing.

2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth Being vulnerable is really the trick isn't it It's also the hardest part * aaaaand that's why "dating yourself" is a powerful frame, woah 😳

2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool yes. self-allyship in all circumstances is sexy

1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth "women are attracted to men in steady committed relationships" https://t.co/bSvXTWFhQV

Tweet image 1
1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

i love this reply being poly is about levelling up your commitment every time you show up in the same space together even when you’re apart https://t.co/mLgIM9D5eC

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

Been exploring polyamory in a lot more depth recently Even just discussing this with my wife, one thing that's clear to me is that if it's going to be at all successful, it's more about INCREASING your commitment, even on a per-relationship basis https://t.co/TAzhLnafwa

13 2
2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth This was a beautiful thread, thank you 😊

1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool Your reply makes me feel glad I wrote it. It was a touch more vulnerable for me to write it. Knowing this, and having your brilliant reply-thread feels amazing.

2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth Being vulnerable is really the trick isn't it It's also the hardest part * aaaaand that's why "dating yourself" is a powerful frame, woah 😳

2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool yes. self-allyship in all circumstances is sexy

1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth "women are attracted to men in steady committed relationships" https://t.co/bSvXTWFhQV

Tweet image 1
1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

poly does not solve problems it merely replaces one class of problems with another one and sometimes that other class feels more like home https://t.co/i3ZgF5gDry

Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• almost 5 years ago

Interesting to pair the above tweet with this one. Poly and mono have different problems, one may even call them higher and lower problems. But there is no nobility in either the higher problems, or the lower problems. There is just the class of problems that feels like home. https://t.co/zTNYxrvRw9

6 0
6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

what poly is is nothing more and nothing less than a different way to interweave boundaries in this connection thing we do as human beings, any time we are in the same room as anyone else, including with stranger beings https://t.co/L8xzHTXh52

Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• about 5 years ago

Co-entrainment is rapidly becoming my organising principle for understanding human interactions.

37 3
5 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

what i’m saying is: i am open to both monogamous and non-monogamous relationships im open to monogamous and non-monogamous people and i fully expect to end up with someone who in principle is compatible with the spirit of poly, even if they use none of those words

4 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

even if they’re never done it before or have no interest in if there is a radical kind of openness and curiosity then the trust, commitment, and self-regard can be developed in relationship with someone else who is secure and has those things

10 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

i love this reply being poly is about levelling up your commitment every time you show up in the same space together even when you’re apart https://t.co/mLgIM9D5eC

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

Been exploring polyamory in a lot more depth recently Even just discussing this with my wife, one thing that's clear to me is that if it's going to be at all successful, it's more about INCREASING your commitment, even on a per-relationship basis https://t.co/TAzhLnafwa

13 2
2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth This was a beautiful thread, thank you 😊

1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool Your reply makes me feel glad I wrote it. It was a touch more vulnerable for me to write it. Knowing this, and having your brilliant reply-thread feels amazing.

2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth Being vulnerable is really the trick isn't it It's also the hardest part * aaaaand that's why "dating yourself" is a powerful frame, woah 😳

2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool yes. self-allyship in all circumstances is sexy

1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth "women are attracted to men in steady committed relationships" https://t.co/bSvXTWFhQV

Tweet image 1
1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

i love this reply being poly is about levelling up your commitment every time you show up in the same space together even when you’re apart https://t.co/mLgIM9D5eC

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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

Been exploring polyamory in a lot more depth recently Even just discussing this with my wife, one thing that's clear to me is that if it's going to be at all successful, it's more about INCREASING your commitment, even on a per-relationship basis https://t.co/TAzhLnafwa

13 2
2 0
6/6/2021
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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth This was a beautiful thread, thank you 😊

1 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool Your reply makes me feel glad I wrote it. It was a touch more vulnerable for me to write it. Knowing this, and having your brilliant reply-thread feels amazing.

2 0
6/6/2021
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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth Being vulnerable is really the trick isn't it It's also the hardest part * aaaaand that's why "dating yourself" is a powerful frame, woah 😳

2 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool yes. self-allyship in all circumstances is sexy

1 0
6/6/2021
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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth "women are attracted to men in steady committed relationships" https://t.co/bSvXTWFhQV

Tweet image 1
1 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

keywords: poly, non-naïve trust dance, loyalty

0 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

sometimes i cry when i think about poly, because i don’t know any other way to be, except to keep caring about people who have touched me with their soul, and sometimes other parts of them too https://t.co/L0BFUjw8XL

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• about 5 years ago

What I want dating to mean is: being in an already loving relationship with somebody, where I already care about them and look forward to seeing them, knowing it doesn’t come with the expectations or future co-planning that might come with a relationship.

18 0
24 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@maybegray once said something about even if she was in an essentially monogamous relationship, it would still be with the ~spirit of poly underneath it i’ve remembered it to this day https://t.co/Jpg79TeIkW

11 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

it’s not so much seeing other people but rather: - dating yourself first - a cultivation of a relationship that exists outside the container of any relationship - a freedom underlying loyalty https://t.co/Q0SxaHkaBM

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• almost 5 years ago

What is beautiful about dating myself is I still date others, but fundamentally, I am dating myself. I can very close with them, and still poly, because I am also dating myself. The multiple engines of attention and intimacy for myself run. https://t.co/NYbjFUAFRD

80 2
10 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

there is the form of poly (multiple relationships) then there is the essence of it people often get the two confused https://t.co/Qgue9DdZpE

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• almost 5 years ago

When I say dating yourself, I don’t mean - buying yourself flowers - going to restaurants by yourself That’s the more performative kind. I mean:

341 63
3 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

in undergrad, i met someone and moved in with them in the first three weeks, and lived together two years i am not afraid of commitment i find lifelong monogamous commitment a beautiful thing

4 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the poly kind of commitment feels less fragile, antifragile no monogamous relationship is impervious to being broken polygamous relationships (even poly-spirited “monogamous" relationships) are not weaker in their commitment — just more durable in case of fracture

5 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

they feel less like “commitment" as an imposed value and more just as loyalty, earned in a non-naïve way https://t.co/IKlUcqtL0G

2 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

poly does not solve problems it merely replaces one class of problems with another one and sometimes that other class feels more like home https://t.co/i3ZgF5gDry

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• almost 5 years ago

Interesting to pair the above tweet with this one. Poly and mono have different problems, one may even call them higher and lower problems. But there is no nobility in either the higher problems, or the lower problems. There is just the class of problems that feels like home. https://t.co/zTNYxrvRw9

6 0
6 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

what poly is is nothing more and nothing less than a different way to interweave boundaries in this connection thing we do as human beings, any time we are in the same room as anyone else, including with stranger beings https://t.co/L8xzHTXh52

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• about 5 years ago

Co-entrainment is rapidly becoming my organising principle for understanding human interactions.

37 3
5 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

what i’m saying is: i am open to both monogamous and non-monogamous relationships im open to monogamous and non-monogamous people and i fully expect to end up with someone who in principle is compatible with the spirit of poly, even if they use none of those words

4 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

even if they’re never done it before or have no interest in if there is a radical kind of openness and curiosity then the trust, commitment, and self-regard can be developed in relationship with someone else who is secure and has those things

10 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

i love this reply being poly is about levelling up your commitment every time you show up in the same space together even when you’re apart https://t.co/mLgIM9D5eC

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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

Been exploring polyamory in a lot more depth recently Even just discussing this with my wife, one thing that's clear to me is that if it's going to be at all successful, it's more about INCREASING your commitment, even on a per-relationship basis https://t.co/TAzhLnafwa

13 2
2 0
6/6/2021
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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth This was a beautiful thread, thank you 😊

1 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool Your reply makes me feel glad I wrote it. It was a touch more vulnerable for me to write it. Knowing this, and having your brilliant reply-thread feels amazing.

2 0
6/6/2021
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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth Being vulnerable is really the trick isn't it It's also the hardest part * aaaaand that's why "dating yourself" is a powerful frame, woah 😳

2 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool yes. self-allyship in all circumstances is sexy

1 0
6/6/2021
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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth "women are attracted to men in steady committed relationships" https://t.co/bSvXTWFhQV

Tweet image 1
1 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

i love this reply being poly is about levelling up your commitment every time you show up in the same space together even when you’re apart https://t.co/mLgIM9D5eC

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

Been exploring polyamory in a lot more depth recently Even just discussing this with my wife, one thing that's clear to me is that if it's going to be at all successful, it's more about INCREASING your commitment, even on a per-relationship basis https://t.co/TAzhLnafwa

13 2
2 0
6/6/2021
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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth This was a beautiful thread, thank you 😊

1 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool Your reply makes me feel glad I wrote it. It was a touch more vulnerable for me to write it. Knowing this, and having your brilliant reply-thread feels amazing.

2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth Being vulnerable is really the trick isn't it It's also the hardest part * aaaaand that's why "dating yourself" is a powerful frame, woah 😳

2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool yes. self-allyship in all circumstances is sexy

1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth "women are attracted to men in steady committed relationships" https://t.co/bSvXTWFhQV

Tweet image 1
1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

poly does not solve problems it merely replaces one class of problems with another one and sometimes that other class feels more like home https://t.co/i3ZgF5gDry

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• almost 5 years ago

Interesting to pair the above tweet with this one. Poly and mono have different problems, one may even call them higher and lower problems. But there is no nobility in either the higher problems, or the lower problems. There is just the class of problems that feels like home. https://t.co/zTNYxrvRw9

6 0
6 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

what poly is is nothing more and nothing less than a different way to interweave boundaries in this connection thing we do as human beings, any time we are in the same room as anyone else, including with stranger beings https://t.co/L8xzHTXh52

Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• about 5 years ago

Co-entrainment is rapidly becoming my organising principle for understanding human interactions.

37 3
5 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

what i’m saying is: i am open to both monogamous and non-monogamous relationships im open to monogamous and non-monogamous people and i fully expect to end up with someone who in principle is compatible with the spirit of poly, even if they use none of those words

4 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

even if they’re never done it before or have no interest in if there is a radical kind of openness and curiosity then the trust, commitment, and self-regard can be developed in relationship with someone else who is secure and has those things

10 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

i love this reply being poly is about levelling up your commitment every time you show up in the same space together even when you’re apart https://t.co/mLgIM9D5eC

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

Been exploring polyamory in a lot more depth recently Even just discussing this with my wife, one thing that's clear to me is that if it's going to be at all successful, it's more about INCREASING your commitment, even on a per-relationship basis https://t.co/TAzhLnafwa

13 2
2 0
6/6/2021
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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth This was a beautiful thread, thank you 😊

1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool Your reply makes me feel glad I wrote it. It was a touch more vulnerable for me to write it. Knowing this, and having your brilliant reply-thread feels amazing.

2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth Being vulnerable is really the trick isn't it It's also the hardest part * aaaaand that's why "dating yourself" is a powerful frame, woah 😳

2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool yes. self-allyship in all circumstances is sexy

1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth "women are attracted to men in steady committed relationships" https://t.co/bSvXTWFhQV

Tweet image 1
1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

i love this reply being poly is about levelling up your commitment every time you show up in the same space together even when you’re apart https://t.co/mLgIM9D5eC

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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

Been exploring polyamory in a lot more depth recently Even just discussing this with my wife, one thing that's clear to me is that if it's going to be at all successful, it's more about INCREASING your commitment, even on a per-relationship basis https://t.co/TAzhLnafwa

13 2
2 0
6/6/2021
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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth This was a beautiful thread, thank you 😊

1 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool Your reply makes me feel glad I wrote it. It was a touch more vulnerable for me to write it. Knowing this, and having your brilliant reply-thread feels amazing.

2 0
6/6/2021
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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth Being vulnerable is really the trick isn't it It's also the hardest part * aaaaand that's why "dating yourself" is a powerful frame, woah 😳

2 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool yes. self-allyship in all circumstances is sexy

1 0
6/6/2021
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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth "women are attracted to men in steady committed relationships" https://t.co/bSvXTWFhQV

Tweet image 1
1 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

keywords: poly, non-naïve trust dance, loyalty

0 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

there is the form of poly (multiple relationships) then there is the essence of it people often get the two confused https://t.co/Qgue9DdZpE

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• almost 5 years ago

When I say dating yourself, I don’t mean - buying yourself flowers - going to restaurants by yourself That’s the more performative kind. I mean:

341 63
3 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

in undergrad, i met someone and moved in with them in the first three weeks, and lived together two years i am not afraid of commitment i find lifelong monogamous commitment a beautiful thing

4 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the poly kind of commitment feels less fragile, antifragile no monogamous relationship is impervious to being broken polygamous relationships (even poly-spirited “monogamous" relationships) are not weaker in their commitment — just more durable in case of fracture

5 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

they feel less like “commitment" as an imposed value and more just as loyalty, earned in a non-naïve way https://t.co/IKlUcqtL0G

2 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

poly does not solve problems it merely replaces one class of problems with another one and sometimes that other class feels more like home https://t.co/i3ZgF5gDry

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• almost 5 years ago

Interesting to pair the above tweet with this one. Poly and mono have different problems, one may even call them higher and lower problems. But there is no nobility in either the higher problems, or the lower problems. There is just the class of problems that feels like home. https://t.co/zTNYxrvRw9

6 0
6 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

what poly is is nothing more and nothing less than a different way to interweave boundaries in this connection thing we do as human beings, any time we are in the same room as anyone else, including with stranger beings https://t.co/L8xzHTXh52

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• about 5 years ago

Co-entrainment is rapidly becoming my organising principle for understanding human interactions.

37 3
5 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

what i’m saying is: i am open to both monogamous and non-monogamous relationships im open to monogamous and non-monogamous people and i fully expect to end up with someone who in principle is compatible with the spirit of poly, even if they use none of those words

4 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

even if they’re never done it before or have no interest in if there is a radical kind of openness and curiosity then the trust, commitment, and self-regard can be developed in relationship with someone else who is secure and has those things

10 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

i love this reply being poly is about levelling up your commitment every time you show up in the same space together even when you’re apart https://t.co/mLgIM9D5eC

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

Been exploring polyamory in a lot more depth recently Even just discussing this with my wife, one thing that's clear to me is that if it's going to be at all successful, it's more about INCREASING your commitment, even on a per-relationship basis https://t.co/TAzhLnafwa

13 2
2 0
6/6/2021
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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth This was a beautiful thread, thank you 😊

1 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool Your reply makes me feel glad I wrote it. It was a touch more vulnerable for me to write it. Knowing this, and having your brilliant reply-thread feels amazing.

2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth Being vulnerable is really the trick isn't it It's also the hardest part * aaaaand that's why "dating yourself" is a powerful frame, woah 😳

2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool yes. self-allyship in all circumstances is sexy

1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth "women are attracted to men in steady committed relationships" https://t.co/bSvXTWFhQV

Tweet image 1
1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

i love this reply being poly is about levelling up your commitment every time you show up in the same space together even when you’re apart https://t.co/mLgIM9D5eC

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

Been exploring polyamory in a lot more depth recently Even just discussing this with my wife, one thing that's clear to me is that if it's going to be at all successful, it's more about INCREASING your commitment, even on a per-relationship basis https://t.co/TAzhLnafwa

13 2
2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth This was a beautiful thread, thank you 😊

1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool Your reply makes me feel glad I wrote it. It was a touch more vulnerable for me to write it. Knowing this, and having your brilliant reply-thread feels amazing.

2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth Being vulnerable is really the trick isn't it It's also the hardest part * aaaaand that's why "dating yourself" is a powerful frame, woah 😳

2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool yes. self-allyship in all circumstances is sexy

1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth "women are attracted to men in steady committed relationships" https://t.co/bSvXTWFhQV

Tweet image 1
1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

poly does not solve problems it merely replaces one class of problems with another one and sometimes that other class feels more like home https://t.co/i3ZgF5gDry

Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• almost 5 years ago

Interesting to pair the above tweet with this one. Poly and mono have different problems, one may even call them higher and lower problems. But there is no nobility in either the higher problems, or the lower problems. There is just the class of problems that feels like home. https://t.co/zTNYxrvRw9

6 0
6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

what poly is is nothing more and nothing less than a different way to interweave boundaries in this connection thing we do as human beings, any time we are in the same room as anyone else, including with stranger beings https://t.co/L8xzHTXh52

Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• about 5 years ago

Co-entrainment is rapidly becoming my organising principle for understanding human interactions.

37 3
5 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

what i’m saying is: i am open to both monogamous and non-monogamous relationships im open to monogamous and non-monogamous people and i fully expect to end up with someone who in principle is compatible with the spirit of poly, even if they use none of those words

4 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

even if they’re never done it before or have no interest in if there is a radical kind of openness and curiosity then the trust, commitment, and self-regard can be developed in relationship with someone else who is secure and has those things

10 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

i love this reply being poly is about levelling up your commitment every time you show up in the same space together even when you’re apart https://t.co/mLgIM9D5eC

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

Been exploring polyamory in a lot more depth recently Even just discussing this with my wife, one thing that's clear to me is that if it's going to be at all successful, it's more about INCREASING your commitment, even on a per-relationship basis https://t.co/TAzhLnafwa

13 2
2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth This was a beautiful thread, thank you 😊

1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool Your reply makes me feel glad I wrote it. It was a touch more vulnerable for me to write it. Knowing this, and having your brilliant reply-thread feels amazing.

2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth Being vulnerable is really the trick isn't it It's also the hardest part * aaaaand that's why "dating yourself" is a powerful frame, woah 😳

2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool yes. self-allyship in all circumstances is sexy

1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth "women are attracted to men in steady committed relationships" https://t.co/bSvXTWFhQV

Tweet image 1
1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

i love this reply being poly is about levelling up your commitment every time you show up in the same space together even when you’re apart https://t.co/mLgIM9D5eC

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

Been exploring polyamory in a lot more depth recently Even just discussing this with my wife, one thing that's clear to me is that if it's going to be at all successful, it's more about INCREASING your commitment, even on a per-relationship basis https://t.co/TAzhLnafwa

13 2
2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth This was a beautiful thread, thank you 😊

1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool Your reply makes me feel glad I wrote it. It was a touch more vulnerable for me to write it. Knowing this, and having your brilliant reply-thread feels amazing.

2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth Being vulnerable is really the trick isn't it It's also the hardest part * aaaaand that's why "dating yourself" is a powerful frame, woah 😳

2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool yes. self-allyship in all circumstances is sexy

1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth "women are attracted to men in steady committed relationships" https://t.co/bSvXTWFhQV

Tweet image 1
1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

keywords: poly, non-naïve trust dance, loyalty

0 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

it’s not so much seeing other people but rather: - dating yourself first - a cultivation of a relationship that exists outside the container of any relationship - a freedom underlying loyalty https://t.co/Q0SxaHkaBM

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• almost 5 years ago

What is beautiful about dating myself is I still date others, but fundamentally, I am dating myself. I can very close with them, and still poly, because I am also dating myself. The multiple engines of attention and intimacy for myself run. https://t.co/NYbjFUAFRD

80 2
10 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

there is the form of poly (multiple relationships) then there is the essence of it people often get the two confused https://t.co/Qgue9DdZpE

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• almost 5 years ago

When I say dating yourself, I don’t mean - buying yourself flowers - going to restaurants by yourself That’s the more performative kind. I mean:

341 63
3 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

in undergrad, i met someone and moved in with them in the first three weeks, and lived together two years i am not afraid of commitment i find lifelong monogamous commitment a beautiful thing

4 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the poly kind of commitment feels less fragile, antifragile no monogamous relationship is impervious to being broken polygamous relationships (even poly-spirited “monogamous" relationships) are not weaker in their commitment — just more durable in case of fracture

5 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

they feel less like “commitment" as an imposed value and more just as loyalty, earned in a non-naïve way https://t.co/IKlUcqtL0G

2 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

poly does not solve problems it merely replaces one class of problems with another one and sometimes that other class feels more like home https://t.co/i3ZgF5gDry

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• almost 5 years ago

Interesting to pair the above tweet with this one. Poly and mono have different problems, one may even call them higher and lower problems. But there is no nobility in either the higher problems, or the lower problems. There is just the class of problems that feels like home. https://t.co/zTNYxrvRw9

6 0
6 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

what poly is is nothing more and nothing less than a different way to interweave boundaries in this connection thing we do as human beings, any time we are in the same room as anyone else, including with stranger beings https://t.co/L8xzHTXh52

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• about 5 years ago

Co-entrainment is rapidly becoming my organising principle for understanding human interactions.

37 3
5 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

what i’m saying is: i am open to both monogamous and non-monogamous relationships im open to monogamous and non-monogamous people and i fully expect to end up with someone who in principle is compatible with the spirit of poly, even if they use none of those words

4 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

even if they’re never done it before or have no interest in if there is a radical kind of openness and curiosity then the trust, commitment, and self-regard can be developed in relationship with someone else who is secure and has those things

10 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

i love this reply being poly is about levelling up your commitment every time you show up in the same space together even when you’re apart https://t.co/mLgIM9D5eC

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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

Been exploring polyamory in a lot more depth recently Even just discussing this with my wife, one thing that's clear to me is that if it's going to be at all successful, it's more about INCREASING your commitment, even on a per-relationship basis https://t.co/TAzhLnafwa

13 2
2 0
6/6/2021
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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth This was a beautiful thread, thank you 😊

1 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool Your reply makes me feel glad I wrote it. It was a touch more vulnerable for me to write it. Knowing this, and having your brilliant reply-thread feels amazing.

2 0
6/6/2021
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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth Being vulnerable is really the trick isn't it It's also the hardest part * aaaaand that's why "dating yourself" is a powerful frame, woah 😳

2 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool yes. self-allyship in all circumstances is sexy

1 0
6/6/2021
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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth "women are attracted to men in steady committed relationships" https://t.co/bSvXTWFhQV

Tweet image 1
1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

i love this reply being poly is about levelling up your commitment every time you show up in the same space together even when you’re apart https://t.co/mLgIM9D5eC

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

Been exploring polyamory in a lot more depth recently Even just discussing this with my wife, one thing that's clear to me is that if it's going to be at all successful, it's more about INCREASING your commitment, even on a per-relationship basis https://t.co/TAzhLnafwa

13 2
2 0
6/6/2021
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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth This was a beautiful thread, thank you 😊

1 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool Your reply makes me feel glad I wrote it. It was a touch more vulnerable for me to write it. Knowing this, and having your brilliant reply-thread feels amazing.

2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth Being vulnerable is really the trick isn't it It's also the hardest part * aaaaand that's why "dating yourself" is a powerful frame, woah 😳

2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool yes. self-allyship in all circumstances is sexy

1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth "women are attracted to men in steady committed relationships" https://t.co/bSvXTWFhQV

Tweet image 1
1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

poly does not solve problems it merely replaces one class of problems with another one and sometimes that other class feels more like home https://t.co/i3ZgF5gDry

Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• almost 5 years ago

Interesting to pair the above tweet with this one. Poly and mono have different problems, one may even call them higher and lower problems. But there is no nobility in either the higher problems, or the lower problems. There is just the class of problems that feels like home. https://t.co/zTNYxrvRw9

6 0
6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

what poly is is nothing more and nothing less than a different way to interweave boundaries in this connection thing we do as human beings, any time we are in the same room as anyone else, including with stranger beings https://t.co/L8xzHTXh52

Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• about 5 years ago

Co-entrainment is rapidly becoming my organising principle for understanding human interactions.

37 3
5 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

what i’m saying is: i am open to both monogamous and non-monogamous relationships im open to monogamous and non-monogamous people and i fully expect to end up with someone who in principle is compatible with the spirit of poly, even if they use none of those words

4 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

even if they’re never done it before or have no interest in if there is a radical kind of openness and curiosity then the trust, commitment, and self-regard can be developed in relationship with someone else who is secure and has those things

10 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

i love this reply being poly is about levelling up your commitment every time you show up in the same space together even when you’re apart https://t.co/mLgIM9D5eC

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

Been exploring polyamory in a lot more depth recently Even just discussing this with my wife, one thing that's clear to me is that if it's going to be at all successful, it's more about INCREASING your commitment, even on a per-relationship basis https://t.co/TAzhLnafwa

13 2
2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth This was a beautiful thread, thank you 😊

1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool Your reply makes me feel glad I wrote it. It was a touch more vulnerable for me to write it. Knowing this, and having your brilliant reply-thread feels amazing.

2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth Being vulnerable is really the trick isn't it It's also the hardest part * aaaaand that's why "dating yourself" is a powerful frame, woah 😳

2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool yes. self-allyship in all circumstances is sexy

1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth "women are attracted to men in steady committed relationships" https://t.co/bSvXTWFhQV

Tweet image 1
1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

i love this reply being poly is about levelling up your commitment every time you show up in the same space together even when you’re apart https://t.co/mLgIM9D5eC

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

Been exploring polyamory in a lot more depth recently Even just discussing this with my wife, one thing that's clear to me is that if it's going to be at all successful, it's more about INCREASING your commitment, even on a per-relationship basis https://t.co/TAzhLnafwa

13 2
2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth This was a beautiful thread, thank you 😊

1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool Your reply makes me feel glad I wrote it. It was a touch more vulnerable for me to write it. Knowing this, and having your brilliant reply-thread feels amazing.

2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth Being vulnerable is really the trick isn't it It's also the hardest part * aaaaand that's why "dating yourself" is a powerful frame, woah 😳

2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool yes. self-allyship in all circumstances is sexy

1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth "women are attracted to men in steady committed relationships" https://t.co/bSvXTWFhQV

Tweet image 1
1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

keywords: poly, non-naïve trust dance, loyalty

0 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

there is the form of poly (multiple relationships) then there is the essence of it people often get the two confused https://t.co/Qgue9DdZpE

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• almost 5 years ago

When I say dating yourself, I don’t mean - buying yourself flowers - going to restaurants by yourself That’s the more performative kind. I mean:

341 63
3 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

in undergrad, i met someone and moved in with them in the first three weeks, and lived together two years i am not afraid of commitment i find lifelong monogamous commitment a beautiful thing

4 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the poly kind of commitment feels less fragile, antifragile no monogamous relationship is impervious to being broken polygamous relationships (even poly-spirited “monogamous" relationships) are not weaker in their commitment — just more durable in case of fracture

5 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

they feel less like “commitment" as an imposed value and more just as loyalty, earned in a non-naïve way https://t.co/IKlUcqtL0G

2 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

poly does not solve problems it merely replaces one class of problems with another one and sometimes that other class feels more like home https://t.co/i3ZgF5gDry

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• almost 5 years ago

Interesting to pair the above tweet with this one. Poly and mono have different problems, one may even call them higher and lower problems. But there is no nobility in either the higher problems, or the lower problems. There is just the class of problems that feels like home. https://t.co/zTNYxrvRw9

6 0
6 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

what poly is is nothing more and nothing less than a different way to interweave boundaries in this connection thing we do as human beings, any time we are in the same room as anyone else, including with stranger beings https://t.co/L8xzHTXh52

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• about 5 years ago

Co-entrainment is rapidly becoming my organising principle for understanding human interactions.

37 3
5 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

what i’m saying is: i am open to both monogamous and non-monogamous relationships im open to monogamous and non-monogamous people and i fully expect to end up with someone who in principle is compatible with the spirit of poly, even if they use none of those words

4 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

even if they’re never done it before or have no interest in if there is a radical kind of openness and curiosity then the trust, commitment, and self-regard can be developed in relationship with someone else who is secure and has those things

10 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

i love this reply being poly is about levelling up your commitment every time you show up in the same space together even when you’re apart https://t.co/mLgIM9D5eC

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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

Been exploring polyamory in a lot more depth recently Even just discussing this with my wife, one thing that's clear to me is that if it's going to be at all successful, it's more about INCREASING your commitment, even on a per-relationship basis https://t.co/TAzhLnafwa

13 2
2 0
6/6/2021
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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth This was a beautiful thread, thank you 😊

1 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool Your reply makes me feel glad I wrote it. It was a touch more vulnerable for me to write it. Knowing this, and having your brilliant reply-thread feels amazing.

2 0
6/6/2021
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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth Being vulnerable is really the trick isn't it It's also the hardest part * aaaaand that's why "dating yourself" is a powerful frame, woah 😳

2 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool yes. self-allyship in all circumstances is sexy

1 0
6/6/2021
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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth "women are attracted to men in steady committed relationships" https://t.co/bSvXTWFhQV

Tweet image 1
1 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

i love this reply being poly is about levelling up your commitment every time you show up in the same space together even when you’re apart https://t.co/mLgIM9D5eC

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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

Been exploring polyamory in a lot more depth recently Even just discussing this with my wife, one thing that's clear to me is that if it's going to be at all successful, it's more about INCREASING your commitment, even on a per-relationship basis https://t.co/TAzhLnafwa

13 2
2 0
6/6/2021
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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth This was a beautiful thread, thank you 😊

1 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool Your reply makes me feel glad I wrote it. It was a touch more vulnerable for me to write it. Knowing this, and having your brilliant reply-thread feels amazing.

2 0
6/6/2021
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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth Being vulnerable is really the trick isn't it It's also the hardest part * aaaaand that's why "dating yourself" is a powerful frame, woah 😳

2 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool yes. self-allyship in all circumstances is sexy

1 0
6/6/2021
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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth "women are attracted to men in steady committed relationships" https://t.co/bSvXTWFhQV

Tweet image 1
1 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

poly does not solve problems it merely replaces one class of problems with another one and sometimes that other class feels more like home https://t.co/i3ZgF5gDry

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• almost 5 years ago

Interesting to pair the above tweet with this one. Poly and mono have different problems, one may even call them higher and lower problems. But there is no nobility in either the higher problems, or the lower problems. There is just the class of problems that feels like home. https://t.co/zTNYxrvRw9

6 0
6 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

what poly is is nothing more and nothing less than a different way to interweave boundaries in this connection thing we do as human beings, any time we are in the same room as anyone else, including with stranger beings https://t.co/L8xzHTXh52

Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• about 5 years ago

Co-entrainment is rapidly becoming my organising principle for understanding human interactions.

37 3
5 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

what i’m saying is: i am open to both monogamous and non-monogamous relationships im open to monogamous and non-monogamous people and i fully expect to end up with someone who in principle is compatible with the spirit of poly, even if they use none of those words

4 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

even if they’re never done it before or have no interest in if there is a radical kind of openness and curiosity then the trust, commitment, and self-regard can be developed in relationship with someone else who is secure and has those things

10 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

i love this reply being poly is about levelling up your commitment every time you show up in the same space together even when you’re apart https://t.co/mLgIM9D5eC

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

Been exploring polyamory in a lot more depth recently Even just discussing this with my wife, one thing that's clear to me is that if it's going to be at all successful, it's more about INCREASING your commitment, even on a per-relationship basis https://t.co/TAzhLnafwa

13 2
2 0
6/6/2021
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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth This was a beautiful thread, thank you 😊

1 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool Your reply makes me feel glad I wrote it. It was a touch more vulnerable for me to write it. Knowing this, and having your brilliant reply-thread feels amazing.

2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth Being vulnerable is really the trick isn't it It's also the hardest part * aaaaand that's why "dating yourself" is a powerful frame, woah 😳

2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool yes. self-allyship in all circumstances is sexy

1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth "women are attracted to men in steady committed relationships" https://t.co/bSvXTWFhQV

Tweet image 1
1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

i love this reply being poly is about levelling up your commitment every time you show up in the same space together even when you’re apart https://t.co/mLgIM9D5eC

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

Been exploring polyamory in a lot more depth recently Even just discussing this with my wife, one thing that's clear to me is that if it's going to be at all successful, it's more about INCREASING your commitment, even on a per-relationship basis https://t.co/TAzhLnafwa

13 2
2 0
6/6/2021
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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth This was a beautiful thread, thank you 😊

1 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool Your reply makes me feel glad I wrote it. It was a touch more vulnerable for me to write it. Knowing this, and having your brilliant reply-thread feels amazing.

2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth Being vulnerable is really the trick isn't it It's also the hardest part * aaaaand that's why "dating yourself" is a powerful frame, woah 😳

2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool yes. self-allyship in all circumstances is sexy

1 0
6/6/2021
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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth "women are attracted to men in steady committed relationships" https://t.co/bSvXTWFhQV

Tweet image 1
1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

keywords: poly, non-naïve trust dance, loyalty

0 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@maybegray once said something about even if she was in an essentially monogamous relationship, it would still be with the ~spirit of poly underneath it i’ve remembered it to this day https://t.co/Jpg79TeIkW

11 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

it’s not so much seeing other people but rather: - dating yourself first - a cultivation of a relationship that exists outside the container of any relationship - a freedom underlying loyalty https://t.co/Q0SxaHkaBM

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• almost 5 years ago

What is beautiful about dating myself is I still date others, but fundamentally, I am dating myself. I can very close with them, and still poly, because I am also dating myself. The multiple engines of attention and intimacy for myself run. https://t.co/NYbjFUAFRD

80 2
10 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

there is the form of poly (multiple relationships) then there is the essence of it people often get the two confused https://t.co/Qgue9DdZpE

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• almost 5 years ago

When I say dating yourself, I don’t mean - buying yourself flowers - going to restaurants by yourself That’s the more performative kind. I mean:

341 63
3 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

in undergrad, i met someone and moved in with them in the first three weeks, and lived together two years i am not afraid of commitment i find lifelong monogamous commitment a beautiful thing

4 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the poly kind of commitment feels less fragile, antifragile no monogamous relationship is impervious to being broken polygamous relationships (even poly-spirited “monogamous" relationships) are not weaker in their commitment — just more durable in case of fracture

5 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

they feel less like “commitment" as an imposed value and more just as loyalty, earned in a non-naïve way https://t.co/IKlUcqtL0G

2 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

poly does not solve problems it merely replaces one class of problems with another one and sometimes that other class feels more like home https://t.co/i3ZgF5gDry

Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• almost 5 years ago

Interesting to pair the above tweet with this one. Poly and mono have different problems, one may even call them higher and lower problems. But there is no nobility in either the higher problems, or the lower problems. There is just the class of problems that feels like home. https://t.co/zTNYxrvRw9

6 0
6 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

what poly is is nothing more and nothing less than a different way to interweave boundaries in this connection thing we do as human beings, any time we are in the same room as anyone else, including with stranger beings https://t.co/L8xzHTXh52

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• about 5 years ago

Co-entrainment is rapidly becoming my organising principle for understanding human interactions.

37 3
5 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

what i’m saying is: i am open to both monogamous and non-monogamous relationships im open to monogamous and non-monogamous people and i fully expect to end up with someone who in principle is compatible with the spirit of poly, even if they use none of those words

4 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

even if they’re never done it before or have no interest in if there is a radical kind of openness and curiosity then the trust, commitment, and self-regard can be developed in relationship with someone else who is secure and has those things

10 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

i love this reply being poly is about levelling up your commitment every time you show up in the same space together even when you’re apart https://t.co/mLgIM9D5eC

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

Been exploring polyamory in a lot more depth recently Even just discussing this with my wife, one thing that's clear to me is that if it's going to be at all successful, it's more about INCREASING your commitment, even on a per-relationship basis https://t.co/TAzhLnafwa

13 2
2 0
6/6/2021
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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth This was a beautiful thread, thank you 😊

1 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool Your reply makes me feel glad I wrote it. It was a touch more vulnerable for me to write it. Knowing this, and having your brilliant reply-thread feels amazing.

2 0
6/6/2021
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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth Being vulnerable is really the trick isn't it It's also the hardest part * aaaaand that's why "dating yourself" is a powerful frame, woah 😳

2 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool yes. self-allyship in all circumstances is sexy

1 0
6/6/2021
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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth "women are attracted to men in steady committed relationships" https://t.co/bSvXTWFhQV

Tweet image 1
1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

i love this reply being poly is about levelling up your commitment every time you show up in the same space together even when you’re apart https://t.co/mLgIM9D5eC

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

Been exploring polyamory in a lot more depth recently Even just discussing this with my wife, one thing that's clear to me is that if it's going to be at all successful, it's more about INCREASING your commitment, even on a per-relationship basis https://t.co/TAzhLnafwa

13 2
2 0
6/6/2021
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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth This was a beautiful thread, thank you 😊

1 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool Your reply makes me feel glad I wrote it. It was a touch more vulnerable for me to write it. Knowing this, and having your brilliant reply-thread feels amazing.

2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth Being vulnerable is really the trick isn't it It's also the hardest part * aaaaand that's why "dating yourself" is a powerful frame, woah 😳

2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool yes. self-allyship in all circumstances is sexy

1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth "women are attracted to men in steady committed relationships" https://t.co/bSvXTWFhQV

Tweet image 1
1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

poly does not solve problems it merely replaces one class of problems with another one and sometimes that other class feels more like home https://t.co/i3ZgF5gDry

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• almost 5 years ago

Interesting to pair the above tweet with this one. Poly and mono have different problems, one may even call them higher and lower problems. But there is no nobility in either the higher problems, or the lower problems. There is just the class of problems that feels like home. https://t.co/zTNYxrvRw9

6 0
6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

what poly is is nothing more and nothing less than a different way to interweave boundaries in this connection thing we do as human beings, any time we are in the same room as anyone else, including with stranger beings https://t.co/L8xzHTXh52

Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• about 5 years ago

Co-entrainment is rapidly becoming my organising principle for understanding human interactions.

37 3
5 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

what i’m saying is: i am open to both monogamous and non-monogamous relationships im open to monogamous and non-monogamous people and i fully expect to end up with someone who in principle is compatible with the spirit of poly, even if they use none of those words

4 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

even if they’re never done it before or have no interest in if there is a radical kind of openness and curiosity then the trust, commitment, and self-regard can be developed in relationship with someone else who is secure and has those things

10 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

i love this reply being poly is about levelling up your commitment every time you show up in the same space together even when you’re apart https://t.co/mLgIM9D5eC

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

Been exploring polyamory in a lot more depth recently Even just discussing this with my wife, one thing that's clear to me is that if it's going to be at all successful, it's more about INCREASING your commitment, even on a per-relationship basis https://t.co/TAzhLnafwa

13 2
2 0
6/6/2021
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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth This was a beautiful thread, thank you 😊

1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool Your reply makes me feel glad I wrote it. It was a touch more vulnerable for me to write it. Knowing this, and having your brilliant reply-thread feels amazing.

2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth Being vulnerable is really the trick isn't it It's also the hardest part * aaaaand that's why "dating yourself" is a powerful frame, woah 😳

2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool yes. self-allyship in all circumstances is sexy

1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth "women are attracted to men in steady committed relationships" https://t.co/bSvXTWFhQV

Tweet image 1
1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

i love this reply being poly is about levelling up your commitment every time you show up in the same space together even when you’re apart https://t.co/mLgIM9D5eC

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

Been exploring polyamory in a lot more depth recently Even just discussing this with my wife, one thing that's clear to me is that if it's going to be at all successful, it's more about INCREASING your commitment, even on a per-relationship basis https://t.co/TAzhLnafwa

13 2
2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth This was a beautiful thread, thank you 😊

1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool Your reply makes me feel glad I wrote it. It was a touch more vulnerable for me to write it. Knowing this, and having your brilliant reply-thread feels amazing.

2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth Being vulnerable is really the trick isn't it It's also the hardest part * aaaaand that's why "dating yourself" is a powerful frame, woah 😳

2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool yes. self-allyship in all circumstances is sexy

1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth "women are attracted to men in steady committed relationships" https://t.co/bSvXTWFhQV

Tweet image 1
1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

keywords: poly, non-naïve trust dance, loyalty

0 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

there is the form of poly (multiple relationships) then there is the essence of it people often get the two confused https://t.co/Qgue9DdZpE

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• almost 5 years ago

When I say dating yourself, I don’t mean - buying yourself flowers - going to restaurants by yourself That’s the more performative kind. I mean:

341 63
3 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

in undergrad, i met someone and moved in with them in the first three weeks, and lived together two years i am not afraid of commitment i find lifelong monogamous commitment a beautiful thing

4 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the poly kind of commitment feels less fragile, antifragile no monogamous relationship is impervious to being broken polygamous relationships (even poly-spirited “monogamous" relationships) are not weaker in their commitment — just more durable in case of fracture

5 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

they feel less like “commitment" as an imposed value and more just as loyalty, earned in a non-naïve way https://t.co/IKlUcqtL0G

2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

poly does not solve problems it merely replaces one class of problems with another one and sometimes that other class feels more like home https://t.co/i3ZgF5gDry

Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• almost 5 years ago

Interesting to pair the above tweet with this one. Poly and mono have different problems, one may even call them higher and lower problems. But there is no nobility in either the higher problems, or the lower problems. There is just the class of problems that feels like home. https://t.co/zTNYxrvRw9

6 0
6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

what poly is is nothing more and nothing less than a different way to interweave boundaries in this connection thing we do as human beings, any time we are in the same room as anyone else, including with stranger beings https://t.co/L8xzHTXh52

Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• about 5 years ago

Co-entrainment is rapidly becoming my organising principle for understanding human interactions.

37 3
5 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

what i’m saying is: i am open to both monogamous and non-monogamous relationships im open to monogamous and non-monogamous people and i fully expect to end up with someone who in principle is compatible with the spirit of poly, even if they use none of those words

4 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

even if they’re never done it before or have no interest in if there is a radical kind of openness and curiosity then the trust, commitment, and self-regard can be developed in relationship with someone else who is secure and has those things

10 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

i love this reply being poly is about levelling up your commitment every time you show up in the same space together even when you’re apart https://t.co/mLgIM9D5eC

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

Been exploring polyamory in a lot more depth recently Even just discussing this with my wife, one thing that's clear to me is that if it's going to be at all successful, it's more about INCREASING your commitment, even on a per-relationship basis https://t.co/TAzhLnafwa

13 2
2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth This was a beautiful thread, thank you 😊

1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool Your reply makes me feel glad I wrote it. It was a touch more vulnerable for me to write it. Knowing this, and having your brilliant reply-thread feels amazing.

2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth Being vulnerable is really the trick isn't it It's also the hardest part * aaaaand that's why "dating yourself" is a powerful frame, woah 😳

2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool yes. self-allyship in all circumstances is sexy

1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth "women are attracted to men in steady committed relationships" https://t.co/bSvXTWFhQV

Tweet image 1
1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

i love this reply being poly is about levelling up your commitment every time you show up in the same space together even when you’re apart https://t.co/mLgIM9D5eC

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

Been exploring polyamory in a lot more depth recently Even just discussing this with my wife, one thing that's clear to me is that if it's going to be at all successful, it's more about INCREASING your commitment, even on a per-relationship basis https://t.co/TAzhLnafwa

13 2
2 0
6/6/2021
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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth This was a beautiful thread, thank you 😊

1 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool Your reply makes me feel glad I wrote it. It was a touch more vulnerable for me to write it. Knowing this, and having your brilliant reply-thread feels amazing.

2 0
6/6/2021
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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth Being vulnerable is really the trick isn't it It's also the hardest part * aaaaand that's why "dating yourself" is a powerful frame, woah 😳

2 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool yes. self-allyship in all circumstances is sexy

1 0
6/6/2021
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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth "women are attracted to men in steady committed relationships" https://t.co/bSvXTWFhQV

Tweet image 1
1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

poly does not solve problems it merely replaces one class of problems with another one and sometimes that other class feels more like home https://t.co/i3ZgF5gDry

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• almost 5 years ago

Interesting to pair the above tweet with this one. Poly and mono have different problems, one may even call them higher and lower problems. But there is no nobility in either the higher problems, or the lower problems. There is just the class of problems that feels like home. https://t.co/zTNYxrvRw9

6 0
6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

what poly is is nothing more and nothing less than a different way to interweave boundaries in this connection thing we do as human beings, any time we are in the same room as anyone else, including with stranger beings https://t.co/L8xzHTXh52

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• about 5 years ago

Co-entrainment is rapidly becoming my organising principle for understanding human interactions.

37 3
5 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

what i’m saying is: i am open to both monogamous and non-monogamous relationships im open to monogamous and non-monogamous people and i fully expect to end up with someone who in principle is compatible with the spirit of poly, even if they use none of those words

4 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

even if they’re never done it before or have no interest in if there is a radical kind of openness and curiosity then the trust, commitment, and self-regard can be developed in relationship with someone else who is secure and has those things

10 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

i love this reply being poly is about levelling up your commitment every time you show up in the same space together even when you’re apart https://t.co/mLgIM9D5eC

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

Been exploring polyamory in a lot more depth recently Even just discussing this with my wife, one thing that's clear to me is that if it's going to be at all successful, it's more about INCREASING your commitment, even on a per-relationship basis https://t.co/TAzhLnafwa

13 2
2 0
6/6/2021
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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth This was a beautiful thread, thank you 😊

1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool Your reply makes me feel glad I wrote it. It was a touch more vulnerable for me to write it. Knowing this, and having your brilliant reply-thread feels amazing.

2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth Being vulnerable is really the trick isn't it It's also the hardest part * aaaaand that's why "dating yourself" is a powerful frame, woah 😳

2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool yes. self-allyship in all circumstances is sexy

1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth "women are attracted to men in steady committed relationships" https://t.co/bSvXTWFhQV

Tweet image 1
1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

i love this reply being poly is about levelling up your commitment every time you show up in the same space together even when you’re apart https://t.co/mLgIM9D5eC

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

Been exploring polyamory in a lot more depth recently Even just discussing this with my wife, one thing that's clear to me is that if it's going to be at all successful, it's more about INCREASING your commitment, even on a per-relationship basis https://t.co/TAzhLnafwa

13 2
2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth This was a beautiful thread, thank you 😊

1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool Your reply makes me feel glad I wrote it. It was a touch more vulnerable for me to write it. Knowing this, and having your brilliant reply-thread feels amazing.

2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth Being vulnerable is really the trick isn't it It's also the hardest part * aaaaand that's why "dating yourself" is a powerful frame, woah 😳

2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool yes. self-allyship in all circumstances is sexy

1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth "women are attracted to men in steady committed relationships" https://t.co/bSvXTWFhQV

Tweet image 1
1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

keywords: poly, non-naïve trust dance, loyalty

0 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

it’s not so much seeing other people but rather: - dating yourself first - a cultivation of a relationship that exists outside the container of any relationship - a freedom underlying loyalty https://t.co/Q0SxaHkaBM

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• almost 5 years ago

What is beautiful about dating myself is I still date others, but fundamentally, I am dating myself. I can very close with them, and still poly, because I am also dating myself. The multiple engines of attention and intimacy for myself run. https://t.co/NYbjFUAFRD

80 2
10 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

there is the form of poly (multiple relationships) then there is the essence of it people often get the two confused https://t.co/Qgue9DdZpE

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• almost 5 years ago

When I say dating yourself, I don’t mean - buying yourself flowers - going to restaurants by yourself That’s the more performative kind. I mean:

341 63
3 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

in undergrad, i met someone and moved in with them in the first three weeks, and lived together two years i am not afraid of commitment i find lifelong monogamous commitment a beautiful thing

4 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the poly kind of commitment feels less fragile, antifragile no monogamous relationship is impervious to being broken polygamous relationships (even poly-spirited “monogamous" relationships) are not weaker in their commitment — just more durable in case of fracture

5 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

they feel less like “commitment" as an imposed value and more just as loyalty, earned in a non-naïve way https://t.co/IKlUcqtL0G

2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

poly does not solve problems it merely replaces one class of problems with another one and sometimes that other class feels more like home https://t.co/i3ZgF5gDry

Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• almost 5 years ago

Interesting to pair the above tweet with this one. Poly and mono have different problems, one may even call them higher and lower problems. But there is no nobility in either the higher problems, or the lower problems. There is just the class of problems that feels like home. https://t.co/zTNYxrvRw9

6 0
6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

what poly is is nothing more and nothing less than a different way to interweave boundaries in this connection thing we do as human beings, any time we are in the same room as anyone else, including with stranger beings https://t.co/L8xzHTXh52

Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• about 5 years ago

Co-entrainment is rapidly becoming my organising principle for understanding human interactions.

37 3
5 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

what i’m saying is: i am open to both monogamous and non-monogamous relationships im open to monogamous and non-monogamous people and i fully expect to end up with someone who in principle is compatible with the spirit of poly, even if they use none of those words

4 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

even if they’re never done it before or have no interest in if there is a radical kind of openness and curiosity then the trust, commitment, and self-regard can be developed in relationship with someone else who is secure and has those things

10 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

i love this reply being poly is about levelling up your commitment every time you show up in the same space together even when you’re apart https://t.co/mLgIM9D5eC

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

Been exploring polyamory in a lot more depth recently Even just discussing this with my wife, one thing that's clear to me is that if it's going to be at all successful, it's more about INCREASING your commitment, even on a per-relationship basis https://t.co/TAzhLnafwa

13 2
2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth This was a beautiful thread, thank you 😊

1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool Your reply makes me feel glad I wrote it. It was a touch more vulnerable for me to write it. Knowing this, and having your brilliant reply-thread feels amazing.

2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth Being vulnerable is really the trick isn't it It's also the hardest part * aaaaand that's why "dating yourself" is a powerful frame, woah 😳

2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool yes. self-allyship in all circumstances is sexy

1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth "women are attracted to men in steady committed relationships" https://t.co/bSvXTWFhQV

Tweet image 1
1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

i love this reply being poly is about levelling up your commitment every time you show up in the same space together even when you’re apart https://t.co/mLgIM9D5eC

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

Been exploring polyamory in a lot more depth recently Even just discussing this with my wife, one thing that's clear to me is that if it's going to be at all successful, it's more about INCREASING your commitment, even on a per-relationship basis https://t.co/TAzhLnafwa

13 2
2 0
6/6/2021
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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth This was a beautiful thread, thank you 😊

1 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool Your reply makes me feel glad I wrote it. It was a touch more vulnerable for me to write it. Knowing this, and having your brilliant reply-thread feels amazing.

2 0
6/6/2021
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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth Being vulnerable is really the trick isn't it It's also the hardest part * aaaaand that's why "dating yourself" is a powerful frame, woah 😳

2 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool yes. self-allyship in all circumstances is sexy

1 0
6/6/2021
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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth "women are attracted to men in steady committed relationships" https://t.co/bSvXTWFhQV

Tweet image 1
1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

poly does not solve problems it merely replaces one class of problems with another one and sometimes that other class feels more like home https://t.co/i3ZgF5gDry

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• almost 5 years ago

Interesting to pair the above tweet with this one. Poly and mono have different problems, one may even call them higher and lower problems. But there is no nobility in either the higher problems, or the lower problems. There is just the class of problems that feels like home. https://t.co/zTNYxrvRw9

6 0
6 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

what poly is is nothing more and nothing less than a different way to interweave boundaries in this connection thing we do as human beings, any time we are in the same room as anyone else, including with stranger beings https://t.co/L8xzHTXh52

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• about 5 years ago

Co-entrainment is rapidly becoming my organising principle for understanding human interactions.

37 3
5 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

what i’m saying is: i am open to both monogamous and non-monogamous relationships im open to monogamous and non-monogamous people and i fully expect to end up with someone who in principle is compatible with the spirit of poly, even if they use none of those words

4 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

even if they’re never done it before or have no interest in if there is a radical kind of openness and curiosity then the trust, commitment, and self-regard can be developed in relationship with someone else who is secure and has those things

10 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

i love this reply being poly is about levelling up your commitment every time you show up in the same space together even when you’re apart https://t.co/mLgIM9D5eC

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

Been exploring polyamory in a lot more depth recently Even just discussing this with my wife, one thing that's clear to me is that if it's going to be at all successful, it's more about INCREASING your commitment, even on a per-relationship basis https://t.co/TAzhLnafwa

13 2
2 0
6/6/2021
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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth This was a beautiful thread, thank you 😊

1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool Your reply makes me feel glad I wrote it. It was a touch more vulnerable for me to write it. Knowing this, and having your brilliant reply-thread feels amazing.

2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth Being vulnerable is really the trick isn't it It's also the hardest part * aaaaand that's why "dating yourself" is a powerful frame, woah 😳

2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool yes. self-allyship in all circumstances is sexy

1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth "women are attracted to men in steady committed relationships" https://t.co/bSvXTWFhQV

Tweet image 1
1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

i love this reply being poly is about levelling up your commitment every time you show up in the same space together even when you’re apart https://t.co/mLgIM9D5eC

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

Been exploring polyamory in a lot more depth recently Even just discussing this with my wife, one thing that's clear to me is that if it's going to be at all successful, it's more about INCREASING your commitment, even on a per-relationship basis https://t.co/TAzhLnafwa

13 2
2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth This was a beautiful thread, thank you 😊

1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool Your reply makes me feel glad I wrote it. It was a touch more vulnerable for me to write it. Knowing this, and having your brilliant reply-thread feels amazing.

2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth Being vulnerable is really the trick isn't it It's also the hardest part * aaaaand that's why "dating yourself" is a powerful frame, woah 😳

2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool yes. self-allyship in all circumstances is sexy

1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth "women are attracted to men in steady committed relationships" https://t.co/bSvXTWFhQV

Tweet image 1
1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

keywords: poly, non-naïve trust dance, loyalty

0 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

there is the form of poly (multiple relationships) then there is the essence of it people often get the two confused https://t.co/Qgue9DdZpE

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• almost 5 years ago

When I say dating yourself, I don’t mean - buying yourself flowers - going to restaurants by yourself That’s the more performative kind. I mean:

341 63
3 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

in undergrad, i met someone and moved in with them in the first three weeks, and lived together two years i am not afraid of commitment i find lifelong monogamous commitment a beautiful thing

4 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the poly kind of commitment feels less fragile, antifragile no monogamous relationship is impervious to being broken polygamous relationships (even poly-spirited “monogamous" relationships) are not weaker in their commitment — just more durable in case of fracture

5 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

they feel less like “commitment" as an imposed value and more just as loyalty, earned in a non-naïve way https://t.co/IKlUcqtL0G

2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

poly does not solve problems it merely replaces one class of problems with another one and sometimes that other class feels more like home https://t.co/i3ZgF5gDry

Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• almost 5 years ago

Interesting to pair the above tweet with this one. Poly and mono have different problems, one may even call them higher and lower problems. But there is no nobility in either the higher problems, or the lower problems. There is just the class of problems that feels like home. https://t.co/zTNYxrvRw9

6 0
6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

what poly is is nothing more and nothing less than a different way to interweave boundaries in this connection thing we do as human beings, any time we are in the same room as anyone else, including with stranger beings https://t.co/L8xzHTXh52

Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• about 5 years ago

Co-entrainment is rapidly becoming my organising principle for understanding human interactions.

37 3
5 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

what i’m saying is: i am open to both monogamous and non-monogamous relationships im open to monogamous and non-monogamous people and i fully expect to end up with someone who in principle is compatible with the spirit of poly, even if they use none of those words

4 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

even if they’re never done it before or have no interest in if there is a radical kind of openness and curiosity then the trust, commitment, and self-regard can be developed in relationship with someone else who is secure and has those things

10 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

i love this reply being poly is about levelling up your commitment every time you show up in the same space together even when you’re apart https://t.co/mLgIM9D5eC

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

Been exploring polyamory in a lot more depth recently Even just discussing this with my wife, one thing that's clear to me is that if it's going to be at all successful, it's more about INCREASING your commitment, even on a per-relationship basis https://t.co/TAzhLnafwa

13 2
2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth This was a beautiful thread, thank you 😊

1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool Your reply makes me feel glad I wrote it. It was a touch more vulnerable for me to write it. Knowing this, and having your brilliant reply-thread feels amazing.

2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth Being vulnerable is really the trick isn't it It's also the hardest part * aaaaand that's why "dating yourself" is a powerful frame, woah 😳

2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool yes. self-allyship in all circumstances is sexy

1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth "women are attracted to men in steady committed relationships" https://t.co/bSvXTWFhQV

Tweet image 1
1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

Tweet image 1
4 0
6/20/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

i love this reply being poly is about levelling up your commitment every time you show up in the same space together even when you’re apart https://t.co/mLgIM9D5eC

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

Been exploring polyamory in a lot more depth recently Even just discussing this with my wife, one thing that's clear to me is that if it's going to be at all successful, it's more about INCREASING your commitment, even on a per-relationship basis https://t.co/TAzhLnafwa

13 2
2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth This was a beautiful thread, thank you 😊

1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool Your reply makes me feel glad I wrote it. It was a touch more vulnerable for me to write it. Knowing this, and having your brilliant reply-thread feels amazing.

2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth Being vulnerable is really the trick isn't it It's also the hardest part * aaaaand that's why "dating yourself" is a powerful frame, woah 😳

2 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool yes. self-allyship in all circumstances is sexy

1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth "women are attracted to men in steady committed relationships" https://t.co/bSvXTWFhQV

Tweet image 1
1 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

Placeholder
J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

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6/20/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

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8/30/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

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6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

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6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

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6/20/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

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8/30/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

poly does not solve problems it merely replaces one class of problems with another one and sometimes that other class feels more like home https://t.co/i3ZgF5gDry

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• almost 5 years ago

Interesting to pair the above tweet with this one. Poly and mono have different problems, one may even call them higher and lower problems. But there is no nobility in either the higher problems, or the lower problems. There is just the class of problems that feels like home. https://t.co/zTNYxrvRw9

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6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

what poly is is nothing more and nothing less than a different way to interweave boundaries in this connection thing we do as human beings, any time we are in the same room as anyone else, including with stranger beings https://t.co/L8xzHTXh52

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• about 5 years ago

Co-entrainment is rapidly becoming my organising principle for understanding human interactions.

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

what i’m saying is: i am open to both monogamous and non-monogamous relationships im open to monogamous and non-monogamous people and i fully expect to end up with someone who in principle is compatible with the spirit of poly, even if they use none of those words

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6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

even if they’re never done it before or have no interest in if there is a radical kind of openness and curiosity then the trust, commitment, and self-regard can be developed in relationship with someone else who is secure and has those things

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6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

i love this reply being poly is about levelling up your commitment every time you show up in the same space together even when you’re apart https://t.co/mLgIM9D5eC

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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

Been exploring polyamory in a lot more depth recently Even just discussing this with my wife, one thing that's clear to me is that if it's going to be at all successful, it's more about INCREASING your commitment, even on a per-relationship basis https://t.co/TAzhLnafwa

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6/6/2021
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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth This was a beautiful thread, thank you 😊

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6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool Your reply makes me feel glad I wrote it. It was a touch more vulnerable for me to write it. Knowing this, and having your brilliant reply-thread feels amazing.

2 0
6/6/2021
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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth Being vulnerable is really the trick isn't it It's also the hardest part * aaaaand that's why "dating yourself" is a powerful frame, woah 😳

2 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool yes. self-allyship in all circumstances is sexy

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6/6/2021
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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth "women are attracted to men in steady committed relationships" https://t.co/bSvXTWFhQV

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6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

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3 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

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4 0
6/20/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

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4 0
6/20/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

i love this reply being poly is about levelling up your commitment every time you show up in the same space together even when you’re apart https://t.co/mLgIM9D5eC

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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

Been exploring polyamory in a lot more depth recently Even just discussing this with my wife, one thing that's clear to me is that if it's going to be at all successful, it's more about INCREASING your commitment, even on a per-relationship basis https://t.co/TAzhLnafwa

13 2
2 0
6/6/2021
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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth This was a beautiful thread, thank you 😊

1 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool Your reply makes me feel glad I wrote it. It was a touch more vulnerable for me to write it. Knowing this, and having your brilliant reply-thread feels amazing.

2 0
6/6/2021
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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth Being vulnerable is really the trick isn't it It's also the hardest part * aaaaand that's why "dating yourself" is a powerful frame, woah 😳

2 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @CountJ0ecool

@CountJ0ecool yes. self-allyship in all circumstances is sexy

1 0
6/6/2021
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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth "women are attracted to men in steady committed relationships" https://t.co/bSvXTWFhQV

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1 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

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4 0
6/20/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

do read the rest of @CountJ0ecool, it’s a brilliant and honest exploration of this stuff > *No* couple has instructions on how to navigate the day to day of life Not even monogamous ones, not even those. https://t.co/dlEyyfDDCU

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J0eCool@CountJ0ecool• over 4 years ago

But that's how ALL relationships are No couple has instructions for how they're supposed to behave day-to-day, no matter how many frameworks they have or how much advice their family gives them

3 0
3 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We start with precarity and the vulnerability of being alive and move from there.

6 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the mysteries of how to love, perpetually https://t.co/vK6qtdZTpb

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4 0
6/20/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

many such cases https://t.co/TUUcoMRtDZ

2 0
8/30/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

keywords: poly, non-naïve trust dance, loyalty

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6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

people are responding to this tweet in a really meaningful way, and it makes me happy 💮

2 0
6/6/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

today i opened instagram 👀 https://t.co/YEo65pay9G

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6/7/2021