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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthover 4 years ago

I feel done with life. I have nothing left to do. I made it, I don't mind continuing to exist, it’s pleasant, but . . . if it ended here, it would feel complete. 1. Have you felt this way? 2. When / what happens for you now?

42 1
2/11/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthover 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

It’s strange. I’ve felt this way before. But only briefly, not how it co-exists alongside calm now. I’m still functional. I plan for the future. I love. I care. I’m in no danger of doing anything dangerous.

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2/11/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthover 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

I don’t meditate. I haven’t drugs. I don’t practice much at all.

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2/11/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthover 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

I’m not confused. I’m not looking for answers. I’m not stressed. I’m not worried. I’m not a lot of things. Going to patiently make dinner now.

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2/11/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthover 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

It reminds me of my trip without drugs. That was scary and felt big! I’m sure something new will come to take its place. Maybe it’s already coming to. I don’t know. Maybe it’s the place in the middle. https://t.co/91CSWGcnCr

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthalmost 5 years ago

Is it possible to trip without drugs?

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5 0
2/11/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthover 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

Update (private alt) https://t.co/Z0Z88ry4S2

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2/16/2021
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Malcolm Ocean 🏴‍☠️@Malcolm_Oceanover 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth I've had a few moments I'd tag as "a good day to die" although mostly those moments fade as I get stoked to do more stuff. It's kinda just like an aesthetic thing, like a grander version of writing a tweet that, without trying, comes to exactly 280 chars. https://t.co/zc0VXonobF

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Malcolm Ocean 🏴‍☠️@Malcolm_Oceanover 4 years ago

This is a really excellent take on death as just one of many limitations, not fundamentally different than only being able to be in one place at one time. Resonates a lot with how I want to think of things. I asked @uncatherio to post this publicly so I could share it! https://t.co/b0V8aAUUbr

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2/11/2021
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Elena Lake 🌿@relic_radiationover 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth 1. yes! & fear crept in - I was all “wait I’m HAPPY, why am I thinking abt death? am I not actually happy??” 2. I came up with reasons to live that weren’t “transform my wants into reality.” weird feature of that one is its inherent link bw “I got what I want” & “ok I can die”

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2/11/2021
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Elena Lake 🌿@relic_radiationover 4 years ago
Replying to @relic_radiation

@AskYatharth My new foundational reason is a bit recursive, but also rings true & I'm stoked on it: Choosing "more life" over "less life" at every opportunity. Honoring my role on this side of the river - that I'm alive, rather than dead.

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2/11/2021
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Elena Lake 🌿@relic_radiationover 4 years ago
Replying to @relic_radiation

@AskYatharth My fave part is that this choice is always available in the present. Like Thich Nhat Hanh's quote - "At any moment, you have a choice, that either leads you closer to your spirit or further away from it."

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2/11/2021
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Elena Lake 🌿@relic_radiationover 4 years ago
Replying to @relic_radiation

@AskYatharth thread of my recent processing around timing of death vs. feeling satisfied with life: https://t.co/XPdbarvjpU

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Elena Lake 🌿@relic_radiationover 4 years ago

So option A breaks down in the logical extreme. I guess that's settled lol, I'm taking the "your life is the total of all the love and radiance you've experienced and output" view. Neat :) And the consequence is that maybe I'll die on a downswing, but that feels worth the trade.

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2 0
2/11/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthover 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

keywords: ambition, foreign, dying

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4/1/2021