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@visakanv Thank you. It seems to be a somewhat ubiquitous / normal experience — we’re just usually not conscious of it https://t.co/rxjzY7MMem
@visakanv even this? https://t.co/yHKe0XSeOv
I’ve experienced timelessness, minor forms of ego death, week-long awakenings, but nothing as truly horrifying / all-consciousness-destroying / I have no control / my mind is being destroyed / I could truly lose my mind to this kind of trip It was terrifying I have no referents
I’ve experienced timelessness, minor forms of ego death, week-long awakenings, but nothing as truly horrifying / all-consciousness-destroying / I have no control / my mind is being destroyed / I could truly lose my mind to this kind of trip It was terrifying I have no referents
For a couple minutes afterward, my brain felt super heated, and I rushed to try various rewritings Did I want to try again? Was I ready to go past mad? Not yet. I don’t know if I’d be here if I did. I probably would The second time felt ok. I don’t know how I went in again
More balanced. I could guide it Still crazy. But hovering on the edges. Some whooshing control If the first time was losing my mind from 0 to 20 Gs accelerating to space, the second was floating with a little tiny thruster of enthusiastic kindness control 🚀
I just sort of woke up from a dream twice (didn’t know it was a dream, had that scary feeling of hmmm life doesn’t seem quite alright, there’s something off, whooosh, woke up, bit like inception, woke up again) That’s actually quite normal for me, and happened since I was a kid
If I had to suggest myself to recreate it, I would say: - go to nap, thinking really hard about something, and maintaining it in and out of sleep - “wake up” in the dream (start lucid dreaming), then notice something is off, and recognise the horror/dread
@SarahAMcManus @LapsusLima is this kind of thing possible? I don’t even know what I mean to ask by that, because clearly I experienced it, and it was possible But was it possible? There was something weird about my memory right after
For the the first five minutes after, it still felt like normal present/past self, shit that happened, blah blah blah After that, it started to feel like an other’s past? Like huh, look at all these memories I have, it *makes sense* this happened, yeah, it would have happened
I feel recognition of it, but it was like a hypothetical, conditional It felt almost Buddhist, I’d say, but I had never experienced anything like that through direct meditation I have less than 100 hours of meditation under my belt. Never done drugs. Weird 😞
@AskYatharth @LapsusLima A lot here! Let's see... sounds like this was happening just as you were waking up? It's a known thing that people can experience hallucinations w/o drugs or meditation, right around falling asleep and waking up. Hypnagogic or hypnopompic states: https://t.co/kzoDwV9XrK
@AskYatharth @LapsusLima That's just the first thing that came to mind, and I'm not sure it's a "full" explanation or a satisfying one. How're you feeling now? Still feeling in an altered state, or did you go back to baseline after that initial experience? (May not be able to reply til later tonight)
@SarahAMcManus @LapsusLima It’s almost like I reified it, and now I have to do more work to get back to felt sense of the experience —wait. that’s all of life https://t.co/U4vhaAze3g
@SarahAMcManus @LapsusLima But seriously Weird how talking it now made it feel more real—like oh, it actually happened, the memory has a thunk to it But at the same time, I feel further from it. And that makes me feel sad https://t.co/WTZABu9iiG
@SarahAMcManus @LapsusLima Is this how all reality works? Never teach a child the word for sparrow, for s/he shall never see one again? That is kinda sad. But it makes me feel better knowing I know that, and knowing I’ve been there to unsee the tree in many ways 😢 *sniff*
@AskYatharth i had seen the very first tweet in this thread (“is it possible to trip w/o drugs”) a few days ago without seeing the rest of it - curious about this trip-like experience you had as it compares to drug consumption, in motivation and nature
@AskYatharth Ramana Maharshi and Eckhart Tolle both had spontaneous awakenings https://t.co/cKSvyGWTPD https://t.co/EquMQQQSGZ
My biggest surprise posting this is how many people responded with mental illness frames vs how many ingroup members shrugged it off like “eh, it happens” I love them both Glad I live in a world where I can seek LapsusLima and SarahAMcManus for trusted, nuanced, balanced takes
Post-trip Otter session: https://t.co/nLD8dWiYKI