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"What will I be happy with when I die?" feels intuitively appealing, as a criteria for evaluating how I want to spend my life. But also - life is *lots* of moments. Why would I prioritize satisfaction during my death-moment over satisfaction during any of my other moments? Hmm
Would you rather: Be radiantly fulfilled and satisfied when you die, but never have experienced that before OR Be radiantly fulfilled and satisfied for a whole decade, but feel total soul-shit at the time of your death?
Posting this poll because I can't answer it myself! It's a 50-50 internal split for me. Thankfully some part of me actually doesn't think the second option is possible. Like, if the decade of radiance is "real" then it by definition stays with you forever.
Valuing option A increasingly highly gives rise to a "quit while you're ahead" strategy where it makes sense to uh...die, when you think you've hit your peak. Because your life could "fail" if you live a little past your peak, so why take the chance?
So option A breaks down in the logical extreme. I guess that's settled lol, I'm taking the "your life is the total of all the love and radiance you've experienced and output" view. Neat :) And the consequence is that maybe I'll die on a downswing, but that feels worth the trade.