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somehow it makes them beautiful to know they couldn't be any other way https://t.co/v9hMTfZ8A9
this is really significant for me, because for most of my life, i felt stuck in this way judging people. for not being pretty enough, intelligent enough, smart enough everyone else was like… not people? people weren't real to me https://t.co/6YeVlUNsAx
one of the things that's eased for me is beauty standards something i was aware of in the back of my head that bothered me in high school was it basically felt only smart, pretty, intelligent people were people everyone else... what exactly? i don't know not people https://t.co/gl03wNDQNb
it's like living in a prison of fear. so afraid of being judged, so afraid of not making it, i judged everyone else along the way too https://t.co/KdUUiI8dK4
there were two VERY HARD categories in my head: gonna make it and ngmi. and i was trying very hard to make it. and it made me run this "loser/not a loser" "relevant/not a relevant person" filter in my head always https://t.co/IbfUrWl0XG
"relevant/not relevant" meant something like "did they have power? wealth? beauty? smarts? something society would value? something that would make them not carelessly thrown away and discarded?" https://t.co/r5kJkPsppB
a lot's changed for me. i no longer feel the need to be exceptional. i love myself. i love life but the most jarring part of my experience still is how much residual judgment i feel of people i meet in everyday life. i call it the walmart problem
"are they walmart people? because everyone knows society will ruthlessly crush them and ignore them and you don't want to be them" it's like i had to be running this perfect race. there was no time to save other people https://t.co/FBfUbvNWPW
i get to say no [🤯] if an opportunity presents itself, i don’t have to take it [🤯] previously, it felt like i needed to be going as fast as possible. as fast as possible, or else. i’d fall behind the race i couldn’t say no. couldn’t fall behind
ofc, this is the kind of thing people judge you for admitting, even if it's how a lot of people are silently thinking, so i never talked about it with anyone. i'd just wonder in private and think, "that's weird." "this judgment feels weird. something's off" but that's how it was
anyway, we owe each other and ourselves a tragic reality. also, everything is relational https://t.co/6Unth6vRex