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a lot's changed for me. i no longer feel the need to be exceptional. i love myself. i love life but the most jarring part of my experience still is how much residual judgment i feel of people i meet in everyday life. i call it the walmart problem
it’s a niggling feeling of "i wouldn’t want to be them." "they’re another kind of people." not a class thing, it’s mostly anyone and everyone except a few people who i think are going to "make it", be able to change enough in their life to have peace
i spent so much of my life thinking only a narrow set of people "make it", and still sort of do, that for me, https://t.co/cSUx1CKvte
the higher ice cream probability tension tweet https://t.co/V2ZGOBLEfZ
"If you manage to control yourself there will be ice cream" said the parent. "I sure hope this doesn't have unforeseen lifelong consequences" thought the child, doing their best to physically tense the body in the higher ice cream probability shape.
sometimes i hate past versions of myself, or people who remind me of past versions of myself, because i consider him irredeemable i worry, looking upon them, that they cannot be saved. so far are they from the painstaking growth i now have and cling to. so forsaken