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when an inner child feels addicted to a relationship it’s not enough to say “noooo that’s an unhealthy dynamic don’t do it” and lift ZERO fingers to understand what the child is desperately, longingly trying to protect https://t.co/9Kg1VmilTI
their friends and families will say "nooooo don’t do that, that’s a cuuult" with like ZERO fingers lifted to understand what the thing the person was missing was, or providing it they’ll provide other things, but usually not the thing the person was most missing
if the soul is making a soul-mistake, we need to grasp what the soul is orienting towards and *join* the soul and inner child in securing that with (!) the full faculties of the inner adult https://t.co/K6XzU9ak9W
it’s not enough to talk objections and reassurances it’s always a positive orientation towards something this is why the addiction frame is so impoverished https://t.co/pg8i84dFV2
i know “addiction” is the mainstream, andrew huberman, overton window frame for our relationship with our phones, but it so impoverished humans have a need for trance. phones offer that. humans have a need to plug into shared consciousness. social media offers that
you can spend a lifetime trying to make yourself content with “just saying no” the child saying no to the ice cream but you don’t have to it can be a positive *joining in* with the movement of the inner child moving with the child usually it’s toward aliveness https://t.co/8kEsu4NYsC
the point was to say, “hey, we’re not going to run onto the road.” “hey, we’re not going to look for belonging in a system that cannot provide it” and then make sure to unfreeze the child https://t.co/Oj8QApph6y
shame has a function. it has many functions. one of them is to STOP people from doing something. you STOP the kid from poking her sister’s eyes out. you STOP the kid from running out on the road, or doing sth inappropriate but in healthy shame, shame is always followed by repair
the thing that happens *after* the no to the addiction is most important this is where your inner kid show yourself aliveness is possible. this is where you show it you deeply understand what it wanted, the comfort you’re going to help it get it
it might not be exactly the form they asked for it, but it’ll be in a form their soul can accept https://t.co/iDveAsRtNs