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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• over 2 years ago

a lot of my neuroticism is thinking a certain feeling is incompatible with something else i want e.g., feeling insecure → can’t have sex e.g., feeling insecure -> can’t flirt

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• over 2 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

but it’s not true. most people don’t see the thing, or don’t care, especially if you don’t bring it up with them, which it’s often not appropriate to do

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• over 2 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

there’s this weird idea i had that i needed to sanitise all these feelings i was conscious of, and in retrospect, i see why, it’s like i lived in a glass house https://t.co/VoLSpIGuSw

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• over 3 years ago

glass house (from: drama of the gifted child) https://t.co/4nsv2S2uy6

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• over 2 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

if my parents picked up on a feeling, i don’t think i really knew how to say no to talking about it. the best way to hide things was to hide it from myself https://t.co/7wajy89ZoT

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• over 2 years ago

emotional range: none (on purpose) https://t.co/wZ35B3QN6I

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• over 2 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

lmao, another example https://t.co/TXpSxm0U8n

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• over 3 years ago

ok, so here’s something i experienced when talking to @pragueyerrr i said “for most of my life, i was unable to have private thoughts about the person i was talking to without saying them out loud” she said, “really???” “yeah”

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• over 2 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

as far as i can tell, people can’t actually read your mind

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• over 2 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

what i’m learning is its possible to have boundaries between - my experience & my feelings - what i’m expressing and acting on i’m not a glass house. there’s a lot of layers between me and another person https://t.co/WjQGR8vH6F

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Jessica@jessicamalonso• over 2 years ago

An important piece of navigating your emotional inner world is learning to slow things down enough to differentiate the many things going on that we typically bundle into “being [angry]” - experiencing internally - reacting (internally or externally) - expressing - communicating

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• over 2 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

like i *know* i can have insecurities and still have connection with people because i’ve had connection before, and i had the insecurities, but it still felt like i was lying

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• over 2 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

all i knew 100% intimacy and transparency (which ofc just means anything incompatible with connection goes into the shadow) or 0% https://t.co/vEFpcUW3Nr

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• over 2 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

what i’m learning is that 100% intimacy and transparency is actually never possible, and not desirable *audible phew* we are each the people that know ourselves best. all connection is sharing some degree of our experience, but never 100%

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• over 2 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

it feels like such a fucking relief to not have to choose between bringing everything up and not being open

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• over 2 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

https://t.co/DzRm7UJR6K

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• over 2 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

it not actually a problem to feel insecure, and flirt or connect anyway and i have no obligation to bring it up in the moment it may not even be appropriate, towards you or the other person

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• over 2 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

those feelings are tender, for tender spaces you trust, and it’s right to become protective about who you share them with

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• over 2 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

those feelings are tender, and deserve to be felt, but that space for them to be felt may not then and there

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• over 2 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the other person didn’t necessarily sign up to be my dad or friend they said yes to flirting, or connecting a certain way they might be open to me talking about my feelings, and i can see, but i’d have to discern and check

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• over 2 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

there was a friend i hugged this weekend, and i felt like crying, and i did, and i told them what’s going on there was a crush i hugged this weekend, and i felt like crying, and i backed the fuck away it wasn’t the space or context that’s just discernment

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• over 2 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

i don’t have to choose between nuking those feelings from my consciousness, or exiting myself from human interaction, or fawning to a space that doesn’t feel safe

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• over 2 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

i don’t have to choose between nuking those feelings from my consciousness, or bringing it up. there’s layers in between there’s something like appropriateness

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• over 2 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

and thank god, because it feels better to stay connected with myself. safe in the knowledge i might not feel everything right now in this moment, but i will eventually

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• over 2 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

*lying by not bringing it up with them

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monk@mechanical_monk• over 2 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth they totally can https://t.co/99GXKoH4ZG

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monk@mechanical_monk• over 2 years ago
Replying to @mechanical_monk

@AskYatharth people can smell insecurity or neurodivergence from across the room

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Imp@imperialauditor• over 2 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth hmm

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• over 2 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

h/t @apxas for prompting this thread 🙏

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