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>Janeās boundary-setting is going to feel different: so loving to herself >Jane has set a number of boundaries during our friendship, but every time she does, I feel closer to her. Itās a connecting experience rather than a divisive experience. https://t.co/yDHJLkKbkC
@tasshinfogleman essentially describes discovering a version of boundaries remarkably close to what @ReneeSolana describes as āinternal vs external boundariesā https://t.co/UuZ7Ec9S4s
boundaries are not punishment (as commonly understood) https://t.co/GlL8dLUrmx
>On the other hand, itās not necessarily required. You donāt have to make your boundaries legible. You can just act on them. And they donāt have to be reasonable. https://t.co/gj1IPj7InJ
āhow do you enforce boundaries?ā āsometimes actually the only option* you have is leave!ā https://t.co/cpjzM85EZn
* the only option thatās not trying to force *them* to change with scarcity people have to *want to choose* to respect it, otherwise you can only either 1. coerce or 2. leave https://t.co/zg1pn6MVIO
new blog post! inspired by my thread on "canonical" writing earlier today, I decided to just publish this old piece with minor edits, and then I can ALSO publish another piece later, rather than try to make MALCOLM'S ONE DEFINITIVE INTRO TO COERCION š https://t.co/6PfC3hZ8zR
thank people for setting their boundaries https://t.co/rh8Lz15rdl
tell them how attractive and safe that makes them feel to you (if thatās true) https://t.co/b781QGN1qW
if you have a difficult reaction come up to smnās boundary, itās not their job to take care of you one easy way is to thank them for the boundary, and ask them for buy-in to see if they want to hear or help you figure out your feelings about the boundary, as a separate thing
boundaries make you trustworthy https://t.co/fjSa9txp0k
more on that https://t.co/o1qYgeFgPy