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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• almost 3 years ago

one of the things women are sometimes surprised to hear me say when they express a boundary is i instinctively feel safer and more attracted to them

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• almost 3 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

they feel like someone i can push harder against, and i don’t need to be as vigilant, and i can be more playful this feels obvious to me https://t.co/ylJqXiq576

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 3 years ago

boundaries are a 2-person dance in a field whose ground truth is changing it’s when you don’t trust one or the other person you have to set your foot down and set static boundaries “no means no!” etc.

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• almost 3 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

it helps me be less vigilant while still getting what i want (no one getting hurt, playing)

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• almost 3 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

but i also remember when hearing a no felt like rupture. it felt scary i would get scared, and they would scared, and it would just sort of get worse for everyone. i get it

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• almost 3 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

there’s a lot of advice like this that floats around for men, but it feels worth remembering it really just is kind of a human experience

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