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*visa voice*: "romantic gestures are not about how they make you feel, they are about how they make them feel" https://t.co/C7C8F1e328
I think this is what happened to the guy who quit his job to find and meet Logan Paul to ask for a job, but had no answer to “ok but so what can you do” he was under the impression that the universe would reward him for his dramatic gesture and he didn’t think beyond that https://t.co/TUDXQIf8Rw
there’s this confusion in popular media that feeling great feelings somehow entitles you to something but it doesn’t. your feelings are your gift alone to the extent you spend any part of that translating them into care for other people, you are a gift
competence are foundations of care https://t.co/snVFCw30ZH
"i feel this great thing!!!" "ok..." "wanna do {X} thing with me?" "ok!" https://t.co/YLWoq4Y2gB
idk this is something i feel like i learned from y’all @jessicamalonso @pragueyerrr some sort of like existential confusion got wiped. “what does this great feeling mean?? why doesn’t it mean i get the thing” “babu it just means you are feeling the thing”
the thing about other people is they are thinking about how you made them feel (≠ how you feel about them) the thing about you is you should totally think about how people make you feel (not just how they say they feel about you, as if that’s how you should feel about them)
to be clear about the original example: if being told you are loved works, it works! but if it doesn’t work, do not be confused! do not psy-op them into thinking, “well, wow we still love you so much, [so you must feel loved now]” https://t.co/m7rYPonU9r
as if: “there can be no gap between how much love you feel and much love we feel for you. any such gap is unnatural” “and any such gap can be fixed by telling you about the thing. without needing to, you know, maybe you what you would like or need”
@AskYatharth oooo yes. in similar energy, and why I'm investing so damn much effort into my grounding, is I'm staring at: the implementation challenge of living the obvious truth of my (and also everyone's) worthiness https://t.co/u4DO05Vkhl
for me personally it feels easy enough to take 'worthiness' as an axiom. that's not my stuck point. my struggle thereafter: the implementation challenge of living the obvious truth of our worthiness!!! for me it certainly requires doing things differently, often w/o templates