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🙆♀️: ok, try this. all of this talk about running sure sounds a lot like your internalised super-ego 🙆♀️: we agreed to not really give a f about that anymore, right? the super-ego was kind of dead to us. internalised voices of other people saying “if we don’t do X, we’ll die 😖”
🙆♀️: that we realised we don’t believe 😄: yeah!! we came to that conclusion safely & kindly. we could all agree on this 🙆♀️: ok . . . so how about we don’t care about it and you let me talk to you about what you really believe 🤔: well . . . https://t.co/LeiQh6D1RU
😅: yes! that’d be great, thank you . . [relieved] 😔: it’s just . . . [wince] . . . it can be so hard to remember what i want . . . [wince] . . . when that super-ego part is yelling in my ear about what needs to be done, and then i feel sad, & confused, & don’t know what i want
🙆♀️: you got it, babe. i get you 🙆♀️: it didn’t feel safe for you to override parts of your brain, till you’d really understood on some high-level, how it was safe to, because your thoughts and brain were all you had ☹️: yeahh . . . https://t.co/HDK1aJe2Al
It’s worth not psy-op’ing these neurotic nerds [psy-op = get people to distrust their native trust mechanisms] by yelling “JUST BE” “YOU’RE THE PROBLEM” “THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS SELF-COERCION.” They might temporarily feel better, but the ecological homeostasis will return.
🙆♀️: and it feels really safe, now that you can — just let go of thoughts about the past and future and this and that, without resolving them, and return to the truth & clarity of this moment, of what you want 😊: hell yeah!! 🙆♀️: and what you want rn is to go running, right?
What I’m learning to do is tease apart my ego & super-ego. I grew up with a very hyper-developed sense of super-ego. - Always a sense of the right thing to be done - Very little connection with what *I want* to do. https://t.co/miKVtBS5GN
It led me to be a very neurotic person, always questioning what I’m doing, and having second thoughts, and third-order thoughts. Everything getting passed through the sieve & filter of “Is this right? Is this what is supposed to be happening?” https://t.co/bZvkgmA3KI
What’s amazing to me about this kind of conversation is how kind it felt. The unkind thing to do—and the advice I heard all my life—was to JUST DO IT> 🧘♂️: just let go of thinking 🏋️♂️: just go lifting but why?? did it feel safe to do that? https://t.co/Ap7eCUsPRf
I needed to not psy-op myself into “fuhgedding about it” like a normie might be comfortable doing. I really, really wanted to know if what I was doing was the right thing to be doing. https://t.co/HOFrusKv14
Where normies are fine just picking an action, neurotic nerds have a really strong expectation that the conflict shouldn’t be there, and there should be some sort of resolution. They’re so sensitive to internal expectation error they start whole Twitter communities about coercion
I don’t blame the “JUST DO IT” advicers. It works for a lot of ppl. It didn’t for me. It just made me cry more on the inside My problem wasn’t that I couldnt “JUST DO IT” My problem was I’d been “JUST DOING IT” whtvr my super-ego told me was the right thing to do my entire life
What was kind was helping me move from where my existing trust function was. My existing trust function was: I needed to know what I was doing was right. So I helped myself come to an understanding of what was going on that made it feel safe to ignore my super-ego parts.
Once that felt safe, I could just vibe . . . But if it didn’t feel safe, goddamit—it could at best be a performance of vibing. https://t.co/MTkNDh8WZk
So I came to this high-level consent in my system, that is was OKAY to let go of the super-ego parts, and once it was, I could do it. Otherwise, *I AM LITERALLY TRYING TO DO SOMETHING MY HIGH-LEVEL SYSTEM HAS NOT CONSENTED TO DO* because everyone is saying to do it. https://t.co/3Tr92hLYp7
That is not cool. https://t.co/lc8tkd4qFJ
One of my biggest talking points is that it is cruel to try to get yourself to understand something in a way that bypasses your trust mechanisms. https://t.co/zzf1Qyn6hV
People in the past didn’t know how to explain it to you that way, but it’s okay. It’s dumb to try to brutalise yourself with more Rules if you are already a Rules person. You have no other way to relate to advice like “JUST DO IT” or “just let go.” https://t.co/BQdIENyPpa