Community Archive

🧵 View Thread

🧵 Thread (17 tweets)

yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago

This is good, and I want to clarify: - It is ALWAYS good to relentlessly respect your feelings of discomfort. They know something. - AND you can keep moving despite being terrified, engage while uncomfortable. https://t.co/ywOgqpekQS

9 1

12/13/2020

yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago

Replying to @AskYatharth

Your discomfort and dissonance KNOWS something. https://t.co/58vyqEmSoV

yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago

The Emotional TRUTH of the situation. The KNOWING of my dissonance. The ALREADY EXISTING nature of my feelings. The bringing to light the POSITION I am already in, conscious or not. The disgusting FELT EXPERIENCE of the world even if it doesn’t feel right. All these make me.

17 1

2 0

12/13/2020

yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago

Replying to @AskYatharth

Respect it relentlessly. https://t.co/9VfzlHANzJ

yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago

I get mad anytime anyone’s system ever feels danger and they don’t acknowledge it and treat it as real, because that feeling fucking happened, and it knows something, and you must treat it with the sheer and utmost respect because you are a living mfer and your system deserves it https://t.co/oBV86maRaY

12 1

0 0

12/13/2020

yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago

Replying to @AskYatharth

That’s what “being yourself” means. https://t.co/2WrL4Mli7y

yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago

In response to your questions of what “being yourself” even means, the most unfucked way of expressing it I have atm is: 1. Relentlessly respecting your own preferences https://t.co/LP0HH4cNn6

10 0

2 0

12/13/2020

yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago

Replying to @AskYatharth

At the same time, your mind can arrive at an (un)conscious agreement that despite the discomfort, you want to forge on. https://t.co/GXriVP1NqJ

yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• almost 5 years ago

now every time i procrastinate I just go “oh time for my brain to sync” and tap tap while my brain does its thing and then it says “ok!” and then I go again

14 2

1 0

12/13/2020

yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago

Replying to @AskYatharth

My bio is literally “terrified yet moving.” It’s a sacred phrase to me. It’s how I am a lot of the time. Head jammed. But I can follow my gut.

9 0

12/13/2020

yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago

Replying to @AskYatharth

It’s different than FORCING myself to move. That’s DISRESPECTING my head. Instead, my system recognises my head is jammed and incapable of guidance in this movement, so I switch to a different compass, that I have built TRUST in over time in incremental ways.

5 0

12/13/2020

yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago

Replying to @AskYatharth

One day I’ll write a book on this, but a healthy relationship with self is as a healthy relationship to a team. Non-self-coercion is a lot like non-coercion of other people, that you probably already have some intuitions about.

7 0

12/13/2020

yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago

Replying to @AskYatharth

Imagine you’re running a business with someone. Or launching the product. Or something. One cool way of navigating disagreements is the 1–10 system. Every time a decision comes up (“I think the sign up flow should be shorter”), you can go, “I’m a 6 on this, what about you?”

7 0

12/13/2020

yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago

Replying to @AskYatharth

“I’m a 9.” “Oh, ok, let’s go with your opinion then.” What just happened? It’s incredible. A laser-fast decision, WITHOUT sitting down and resolving all objections. Yet done non-coercively.

7 0

12/13/2020

yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago

Replying to @AskYatharth

Not because one bullied the other. Not because one made it so frustrating for the other to argue that decided it’s not worth it and let the other have it. No coercion.

2 0

12/13/2020

yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago

Replying to @AskYatharth

The other person is still uncomfortable with the decision. They don’t think it’s the best. But they trust the meta-system they built with the other person. It requires trust and synchronisation.

5 0

12/13/2020

yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago

Replying to @AskYatharth

Same with yourself. 1. Don’t steamroll your parts 2. Also, you don’t have to resolve ALL your objections or discomfort to act. These are both true. Just as we saw the people do in the 1–10 system.

8 0

12/13/2020

yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago

Replying to @AskYatharth

Build trust, sychronise (spend a LOT of time synchronising your brain), relentlessly respect and acknowledge every feeling as real. You can be uncomfortable, yet non-coercive. https://t.co/oBV86maRaY

yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago

Can you imagine not treating each and every part as a sacred (not infallible) part of your system? Couldn’t be me.

13 0

9 0

12/13/2020

yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago

Replying to @AskYatharth

Ignore everything I’m saying and live your life if that’s working for you. But gosh, if you’re like me, and feel scarred by coercion in some way, or if it’s been egging you if that’s wrong, or you want a different way, I’m 100% here for it.

9 0

12/13/2020

yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago

Replying to @AskYatharth

Important keyword: buy-in. https://t.co/8lAFS3vgLA

yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago

@AbhayPrasanna @Jeanvaljean689 @Malcolm_Ocean Self-coercion is a subtle, but I contend you can reuse a lot of your existing intuitions around coercion between people. The keyword is: buy-in. Buy-in even despite discomfort. https://t.co/zVCsnmoeRP

2 0

12/13/2020

yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago

Replying to @AskYatharth

If you think you need coercion, you’re probably making coercion mean something it doesn’t have to. Malcolm puts it well. https://t.co/XFRzUOFB9I

Malcolm Ocean 🏴‍☠️@Malcolm_Ocean• over 4 years ago

@AskYatharth @ChanaMessinger > I really, really think if you think coercion is “needed” then you’re taking coercion to means something it doesn’t have to. This! Get you a definition of coercion such that you understand both: - why you sometimes think need it - why you actually don't ever need it

7 0

4 0

12/13/2020