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Visakan Veerasamy@visakanv• about 4 years ago

the first step to cease being an unintegrated wannabe is to accept that you are one, and will always be one. and to see the beauty, humor, joy and humility in that

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7/26/2021
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Visakan Veerasamy@visakanv• about 4 years ago
Replying to @visakanv

when you see the beauty in your imperfections. your stutter, your accent, your slouch, your squint, your posture, your gait – every aspect of you is a sacred manifestation of the story of your life, every dissonant horn and screeching string is crying out to tell the story of you

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7/26/2021
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Visakan Veerasamy@visakanv• about 4 years ago
Replying to @visakanv

I loved Alan Watts for many years (still do, tho I haven’t listened in a while) and the most challenging of his riffs that I struggled to understand was ā€œThe reason you want to be better, is the reason why you aren’t.ā€ It seemed bleak as fuck to me, and he said it with a laugh

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7/26/2021
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Visakan Veerasamy@visakanv• about 4 years ago
Replying to @visakanv

he was gesturing at the absolute comedic futility of self-improvement. it’s like trying to improve a cloud, or a tree. it can’t be done. if you really dig into it, there isn’t even a self to improve. it’s just an illusion. O god! O fuck! There’s nothing to stand on! https://t.co/RUToEV0g8Z

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Visakan Veerasamy@visakanv• over 7 years ago

@webdevMason Feynman is my gold standard here. Once you get past the nausea of ā€œoh my god there’s nothing stable to stand onā€, it’s quite liberating and zen, like surfing on waves https://t.co/CEdxzp9uvS

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7/26/2021
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Visakan Veerasamy@visakanv• about 4 years ago
Replying to @visakanv

ā€œBut I have all these problems and all these imperfections and I make all these mistakes-ā€œ Yes, yes! Glorious! But you see, every one of those things is a matter of context and framing. Chaos at one level is harmony at another. We get adorably attached to our point of view https://t.co/jQRAgCATYI

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Visakan Veerasamy@visakanv• about 4 years ago

ā€œyou can make every note work with every chord [...] rather than say this note is good or bad, it’s more, this note hasn’t found it’s consequence yet, or this note is in the wrong context [...] if it feels right, then it's probably fine." – @jacobcollier https://t.co/7ePxG3sv8E

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7/26/2021
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Visakan Veerasamy@visakanv• about 4 years ago
Replying to @visakanv

there is a lightness of being when you unshackle yourself from your point of view, and in that expanded awareness everything flows quite effortlessly, gracefully this doesn’t mean the *complete* absence of muscular tension, but the difference is enough to basically feel like it

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7/27/2021
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Visakan Veerasamy@visakanv• about 4 years ago
Replying to @visakanv

guy on the left is stressed that he is an unintegrated wannabe guy on the right has cheerfully accepted that he is one, and always will be in that narrow space in between, is all the ā€œsecretā€ energy that he was hoping to attain. hilariously, it truly is within you all along https://t.co/myo1ZDZbWX

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Visakan Veerasamy@visakanv• about 5 years ago

scrolling through my youtube videos and I can see a huge difference in the muscular tension in my face same hoodie, same macbook camera, similar lighting conditions... holy shit https://t.co/Pb9WTbAYTZ

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7/27/2021
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Visakan Veerasamy@visakanv• about 4 years ago
Replying to @visakanv

there are of course still many areas of my life in which I experience stress and anxiety! This is because I am an unintegrated wannabe and always will be! šŸ˜‚ and I can laugh about that because I have experienced the magic of transmuting anxiety to laughter

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7/27/2021
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Visakan Veerasamy@visakanv• about 4 years ago
Replying to @visakanv

In my early-mid-20s I felt that my existence was an ordeal, a prison sentence with extra steps. I felt trapped in my body, in my mind, in my circumstances. I realize now that I *am* the universe, I am at home in the universe, the universe is just as much trapped within me

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7/27/2021
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Visakan Veerasamy@visakanv• about 4 years ago
Replying to @visakanv

I recurringly find it useful to look for the joke (our expectations are the setup and reality is the punchline). The idea of stress and anxiety being a kind of cosmic indigestion gets me laughing again. Who are you to hold in the universe?? šŸ˜‚ cmon. Fart it out! Shake it off! Wew

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7/27/2021
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Visakan Veerasamy@visakanv• about 4 years ago
Replying to @visakanv

your clinginess, neediness, etc are creations & manifestations of your fear, which is trying to keep you safe. some yelling and screaming is understandable, but really they’ll start to leave you alone when you hug them and tell them thank you, I love you. Makes em uncomfortable🤪

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7/27/2021
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Visakan Veerasamy@visakanv• about 4 years ago
Replying to @visakanv

these be the unhinged ramblings of an imperfect wannabe. that’s it for today’s sermon, peace and love be with you ā¤ļøšŸ™šŸ¾

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7/27/2021