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The problem with being clingy or attached on dates is the other person needs to feel a certain way for you to feel ok. https://t.co/LJoNiAgfC0
@liminal_warmth As smn who was that guy once, my life changed when someone explained to me, in kind and patient terms, that when I got overly attached, the problem was they as the other person weren’t free to feel whatever they wanted to anymore They had to feel a certain way for me to be ok
The problem with expressing neediness or negative emotions is you often end up asking the other person to save you / feel a certain way for you to feel ok. https://t.co/A6vPEOSvk9
@mechanicalmonk1 @ChanaMessinger @artfulminimal @sarelbic “Hey, can I unload?” “Ok” But there is an art and skill to outing needy emotions while holding dignity and respect “Damn! I feel super intimidated by you” said the right way can be hot, while freaking out and and saying “I’m intimidated by you” now demands the other caretake
A problem with apologies is when you lose regard for yourself, so now the other person needs to feel a certain way so you can feel ok. https://t.co/R6JaZAZZCW
The problem with absurd confidence is when the other person needs you to buy in to their public face for them to feel ok. https://t.co/wu0AgZkucF
Dignity is nothing and nothing less than retaining regard for yourself, to know that regardless, you will be ok. https://t.co/CKqiihoTDS
Leaky energy is when you need the other person to ignore what they are sensing for you to feel ok. https://t.co/v17uImPlSI
The problem with all these situations is the other person did not consent to being in this psychic space with you. https://t.co/CZD4w6s7PK
@mechanicalmonk1 @ChanaMessinger @artfulminimal @sarelbic It’s ok to need caretaking. But making it opt-in, recognising subtext, and gracefully navigating yeses and nos are a huge skill upgrade that expand your ability to out negative emotions and still get really positive interactions out of it I’d call it a cheat code for life
Being in a space with anyone implicitly puts you in psychic connection, and your psyche begins acting on theirs and vice versa. This is the powerful action, of just being in someone’s space, that they did not consent to. https://t.co/6maGQwDiQv
(This is what vibing is, by the way. What it means to remain energetically open is to let their psyche subtle interact with yours or not.) https://t.co/XfviW60n0Q
Humans can't tolerate other humans being crushed. It so sucks to see someone feel crushed, we do anything to avoid this. This is why it’s such a dangerously powerful action to send to someone, “Feel this way, or I won’t feel ok.” They’re not equipped to handle it.
Most people can’t tolerate this, and leave [or compartmentalize]. But when you can tolerate someone feeling crushed and recognise, “They’re not feeling ok, but I’m feeling ok,” it can be a superpower that helps both you and them. https://t.co/AjCXvofNej
I call all this Magical Boundary Work. All this is communicated subtly and unconsciously. https://t.co/dI40xmTViV
It still exerts a psychic force, because anytime we’re around another human being, we’re simulating them inside us. It’s like running untrusted code. https://t.co/ZBRrRWYcd3
If you fuzz a Reinforcement Learning agent with random input 24/7, eventually it will BREAK and self-destruct. Dead neurons, adversarial attacks, catastrophic malfunctions. This is why our brains come with a tempering device built in. https://t.co/K802eM4R5i
Maybe we couldn’t tolerate our father feeling a certain way growing up. So it’s a CVE vulnerability inside us, that skilled readers can manipulate. https://t.co/HC4QpSSfHe