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Chris Lakin@ChrischipMonk• 10 months ago

Undoing muscle tension is kinda like: 1. Notice you are tense 2. Notice where you are tense 3. Notice *you* are creating the the tension, and stop I suspect undoing mental tension is similar: 1. Notice you are tense (suffering) 2. Notice where 3. Notice *you* are doing it, and stop. (Example below) (do u agree @johnsonmxe ?) Step 3 can be hard though! See below

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Chris Lakin@ChrischipMonk• 10 months ago

me: “Do you notice that you’re *doing anxiety*?” client: “ohhhhhhhhhhh i'm doing anxiety” client: “……oh i can just focus on what i want to do now i don't have to think about my past, that's cool” (This comes after a lot of local optimality-type work, but still v cool)

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Chris Lakin@ChrischipMonk• 10 months ago
Replying to @ChrisChipMonk

Example of what this looks like for muscle tension: > Now it’s obvious to me that I was creating the tension all along https://t.co/Yf4UWsgCCH

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Chris Lakin@ChrischipMonk• over 1 year ago

I resolved my chronic (3.5y) neck pain two months ago. Now it’s obvious to me that I was creating the tension all along. Here’s my model of what was causing my tension: 1. There would be a feeling in my neck. Like all feelings, the sensation in my neck represented some piece of information meant to be communicated to the rest of my nervous system. Being aware of the feeling seemed to be equivalent to being aware of that piece of information. And I don’t know why, but it happened to manifest spatially within my neck. 2. Some part of me wanted to not feel that feeling. For whatever purpose, some part of me believed being aware of this feeling/information was not okay. 3. It created muscle tension around the feeling. In order to avoid the feeling, that part of me created muscle tension around the location of the feeling in my neck. 4. So the feeling grew. Like all feelings, this one was (and often still is) there in order to be noticed and integrated. Unsurprisingly, the feeling responded to being covered up by tension by making itself more intense. 5. So the tension grew. To avoid the stronger feeling, the part of me creating the tension tensed my neck even more. 6. A feedback loop! So the feeling became stronger… and tension became stronger… and the feeling became stronger…… Yeah, there have been some days in the past few years where my neck was so tense I couldn’t turn my head. What do you mean “I was creating the tension all along”? While I had my neck tension, it did not feel like I was (consciously) doing the steps above. However, a few times since the tension resolved, I’ve caught my neck beginning to tense again in the old way. But I notice as this is happening. And then I notice that I’m labeling the feeling as “harmful” and that I’m trying to avoid the feeling inside my own mind. Because I notice this, I choose to stop labeling the feeling as “harmful”. And instead of avoiding it, I bring my attention into it more. That last mental motion feels like being warm and dry on a beach, then slowly and deliberately wading into even colder water, feeling each inch of my body as I go deeper. After I do that, the feeling actually recedes, and so does the tension. Because of this introspection, I can see that I create the tension — and I must have always been creating it. I’ve become reconnected with the part of me that was afraid of that feeling. What did the unwanted feeling represent? In my particular case, I suspect the feeling in my neck represented the information “I have the choice to leave the social situation I’m in right now” and/or “I am disliking/suppressing myself.” I had noticed a year ago that my neck was most commonly tense in social situations I found uncomfortable, so that makes sense now. I suspect there was an additional feedback loop like “I dislike something about myself” → *tensing my neck* → “I dislike that my neck is tense” → more tensing → … Why were you avoiding the feeling? I don’t know why I was still avoiding it, except for the presence of the feedback loop I described. However, I suspect I know one incentive I used to have to avoid the feeling: The feeling represented the awareness that I was insecure, and there were probably situations (probably social situations) in which it partially benefited me to be partially unaware of the fact that I was insecure. I won’t go into the details on this here. Anyways, I’m significantly less socially-emotionally insecure than I used to be, so this incentive was no longer relevant, which made untangling the tension much easier. Where was the tension, exactly? In my neck and upper back. And before it resolved it even started to pinch my vagus nerve. Did you also try physical therapy, etc.? Yes, I tried physical therapy for the first few months. It helped a little, maybe? And I kept doing the PT stretches, but they didn’t solve my tension. Ultimately my tension seems to have been almost entirely emotional. I also tried non-trivial amounts of exercise, stretching, self-massage, and professional bodywork. None helped significantly. How did you finally resolve your neck tension? Brief thoughts: Under my model, my muscle tension was caused by (1) a spark of aversion, plus (2) a feedback loop that turned aversion into more aversion. To solve my neck tension, I needed to untangle both. Untangling the spark: I stopped seeing the feelings I was avoiding as harmful. I also stopped seeing my neck tension as bad. This stopped the feedback loops at their source. I did this via somatic therapy techniques while working with an excellent counselor. (For an example of what working with a very skilled counselor looks like, see here.) I untangled some peculiar unconscious confusions that were unique to me. I happen to have a recording of the hour where this took place, and I couldn’t even tell you what I unlearned, my prior unconscious beliefs mostly seem nonsensical now. Untangling the feedback loops: I learned to notice and step outside of harmful feedback loops. I did this while meditating under certain conditions that I can’t say directly. This deserves a future post of its own. Caveats to my theory - It's only been two months; it’s possible the tension could return. - My neck still gets tense sometimes, but it never reaches the point of pain anymore. When it does get tense, I'm much more aware of it and can relax it more easily. - I haven't resolved all bothersome tension in my body yet, so this theory may not be a complete solution for all muscle tension issues. That said, my body has very little muscle tension overall.[1] Thanks to Max Langenkamp and Stag Lynn for reviewing. [1] Somehow I receive compliments on the relaxed state of my back and shoulders like once a month. Related posts are on my blog

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Chris Lakin@ChrischipMonk• 10 months ago
Replying to @ChrisChipMonk

Sometimes step 3 is easy (base case). Other times it’s hard and this is my explanation for why: https://t.co/EUNYgvveVU

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Chris Lakin@ChrischipMonk• 11 months ago

Locally optimal psychology There’s no way that chronic depression, self-loathing, poor agency, or muscle tension could be *optimal*… right? Jake was depressed for 6 months. He also felt horrible every time he interacted with other people because of his emotional insecurities. So without knowing how to outgrow his insecurities, his system basically had two options: 1. Interact with other people — and constantly feel horrible 2. Don’t interact with anyone unless absolutely necessary So his system converged on the second option, also known as “depression”. Depression certainly wasn’t the globally optimal strategy, but given the options, it was a locally optimal strategy. [🔴Depression, the best strategy known and accessible at the time.] Once he outgrew his emotional insecurities, however, he was no longer blocked on the better optimum of both interacting with others and not feeling horrible. And so with no need for the ‘depression strategy’, the symptoms evaporated — two years and counting. I know because Jake was me. More examples of locally optimal strategies Most chronic issues for the people I help end up looking like locally optimal strategies. For example, self-loathing often turns out to be a strategy for avoiding conflict with others. Lack of agency often turns out to be a strategy for avoiding judgements of failure. But ideally, they would both have self-love and be safe from conflicts; or have agency and be okay with judgements of failure. I’ve seen people make significant and sometimes total progress in weeks on issues they’ve had for years. One of my tenets is that any persistent mental issue is probably a locally optimal strategy. (Again: if my mind had hit the “undo depression” button while I was depressed, I would’ve gotten hurt!) In my own growth, my issues relating to depression, empathy, conflict avoidance, emotional numbness, eye contact, boundaries, neck pain, and more all turned out to be locally optimal strategies. Only once I fully understood what an issue was doing for me did I make a step change towards resolving it. For example, I had neck pain for 3½ years. A few times it was so bad I couldn’t turn my head. Over the years, I had tried to counteract my neck tension with physical therapy and stretching but nothing really worked. Then, earlier this year I finally realized precisely how it was strategic, so I implemented better strategies towards the same goals and have had ~90% less neck pain since. Btw: Noticing how my neck pain was locally optimal was quite tricky, and even suppressed. So even if an issue IS a locally optimal strategy, it can be quite difficult to understand how. How common are locally optimal strategies? I have no hard data, but I suspect that when an issue has lasted years, local optimality is more probable than not. Why? Consider: If there were no downsides to resolving a persistent issue, then why has it lasted so long?? Thanks to @bjtoomey, @xuenay, @staglynn, @KanizsaBoundary, @AnnaWSalamon, and my clients for support. Further reading on my blog.

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Chris Lakin@ChrischipMonk• 10 months ago
Replying to @ChrisChipMonk

oh wait I caused someone to realize this on twitter a few months ago! (see thread) https://t.co/jczKEzPs4V

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sarrah@AgaRosegirl• over 1 year ago

@ChrisChipMonk This was really helpful in unblocking me without "breaking the magic" of dissecting myself a little too much. Any time I wanted to stop a workout in a public gym because my face was contorted embarrassingly or I very clearly did not know what I was doing, I would ask myself and?

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Chris Lakin@ChrischipMonk• 8 months ago
Replying to @ChrisChipMonk

someone read the top tweet and had a breakthrough lol https://t.co/mcMrRHCrEX

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Chris Lakin@ChrischipMonk• 8 months ago

love when people benefit from reading my tweets https://t.co/GWOScaeXl3

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Chris Lakin@ChrischipMonk• 8 months ago
Replying to @ChrisChipMonk

@xuenay tries it https://t.co/f7mkfEHEta

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Kaj Sotala@xuenay• 8 months ago

When I get step 3 to work, this does seem to work for stopping suffering, but of course getting step 3 to work is often highly nontrivial.

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Chris Lakin@ChrischipMonk• 6 months ago
Replying to @ChrisChipMonk

@xuenay to be clear, this thread won’t help anyone sufficiently stuck with #3. that requires somatic practices, coaching, etc. i wish i could describe that in a post, maybe one day i’ll be able to, but not yet

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Chris Lakin@ChrischipMonk• 6 months ago

@imitationlearn no, it doesn’t. that requires somatics and feelings etc. which is full-stack coaching. which i can’t explain in a post

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Michael Edward Johnson@johnsonmxe• 10 months ago
Replying to @ChrisChipMonk

I think so but step (3) is heterogeneous — and I think this doesn’t really apply to latched tension (smooth muscle’s latch bridge mechanism). I don’t think Reich/Sarno/TRE are fully generalized but they’re pointers to what kind of thing works for latch release I think the “notice you are creating a problem, and stop” thing is important and also gets into the challenge of deconditioning muscle reflexes

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Chris Lakin@ChrischipMonk• 10 months ago
Replying to @johnsonmxe

@johnsonmxe > I think this doesn’t really apply to latched tension ooh, are you able to explain why?

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Michael Edward Johnson@johnsonmxe• 10 months ago
Replying to @ChrisChipMonk

When you notice you’re creating some tension, you can simply stop creating it, or send a message to the muscle to relax.This doesn’t work with a latch, because the muscle* is chemically glued into a tight state. The “default relaxed rest position” is now partial contraction*only smooth muscles can latch

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andifined@andifined1• 10 months ago
Replying to @ChrisChipMonk

@ChrisChipMonk Yeah the work basically is bringing someone to the realization that they have a choice to do something different. That’s why Bruce di Marsico called his the Option method

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Chris Smeder@Chris_Smeder• 10 months ago
Replying to @ChrisChipMonk

@ChrisChipMonk A step 3 approach I learned today: Context: I did a guided meditation with @blissbrah and the approach he used to release tension was the most effective I’ve experienced [1].

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Chris Smeder@Chris_Smeder• 10 months ago
Replying to @Chris_Smeder

@ChrisChipMonk @blissbrah [1] However, that might simply because it was new and I needed this type of practice at the stage I’m at. I’ll have to check in at future date to see if it’s still as effective.

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Chris Smeder@Chris_Smeder• 10 months ago
Replying to @Chris_Smeder

@ChrisChipMonk @blissbrah The approach: (From what I remember) 1. Become present with the different tensions in your body 2. Decide which one is pulling you towards it 3. The practice: Say “I forgive myself for resisting the tension”

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Kyle Junlong@kylejunlong• 4 months ago
Replying to @Chris_Smeder

@Chris_Smeder @ChrisChipMonk @blissbrah woah this is really cool thanks for sharing

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7/1/2025
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Michael Smith@Morphenius• 9 months ago
Replying to @ChrisChipMonk

@ChrisChipMonk Something about how you said this makes me think of the Four Noble Truths. 1. There is tension. 2. There's a cause to tension. 3. There's a state that's free of tension. 4. The way to stop being tense is to Do The Thing.

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Chris Lakin@ChrischipMonk• 9 months ago
Replying to @Morphenius

@Morphenius oo saving this ty

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Alchibiades 🐻@xeixeira146866• 8 months ago
Replying to @ChrisChipMonk

@ChrisChipMonk Step 3 follows step 2 for me

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imit@imitationlearn• 6 months ago
Replying to @ChrisChipMonk

> 3. Notice *you* are doing it, and stop. (Example below) i understand the earnest intention behind listing this step, and i think some people can really just do this, but i think a lot of people cant just release tension like this. happy to be wrong, but mental tension is not some trivial switch to flip imo

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Chris Lakin@ChrischipMonk• 6 months ago
Replying to @imitationlearn

@imitationlearn https://t.co/nXhk2oYJmn

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Chris Lakin@ChrischipMonk• 10 months ago

Sometimes step 3 is easy (base case). Other times it’s hard and this is my explanation for why: https://t.co/EUNYgvveVU

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imit@imitationlearn• 6 months ago
Replying to @ChrisChipMonk

@ChrisChipMonk 1. thanks for recognizing that its not super simple 2. hmm, i feel like using local optima as an analogy doesnt explain WHY its hard to fix, just gives it a good framing

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imit@imitationlearn• 6 months ago
Replying to @imitationlearn

@ChrisChipMonk wait lemme reword 2: 2. i feel like using local optima as an analogy doesn't help people figure out how to untense/fix their problem with mere recognition

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Chris Lakin@ChrischipMonk• 6 months ago
Replying to @imitationlearn

@imitationlearn no, it doesn’t. that requires somatics and feelings etc. which is full-stack coaching. which i can’t explain in a post

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Chris Lakin@ChrischipMonk• 6 months ago
Replying to @ChrisChipMonk

@imitationlearn ty

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Chris Lakin@ChrischipMonk• 6 months ago

@xuenay to be clear, this thread won’t help anyone sufficiently stuck with #3. that requires somatic practices, coaching, etc. i wish i could describe that in a post, maybe one day i’ll be able to, but not yet

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imit@imitationlearn• 6 months ago
Replying to @ChrisChipMonk

@ChrisChipMonk nice, thanks for that. i do like ur work tho. i do wonder if there are things that i can just let go. i do try it from time to time but nothing has particularly clicked

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