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i asked why we play duck duck goose at the preschool. it causes so much drama. the children just tag their friends, and kids feel really bad when they don't get a turn https://t.co/rih8KV9wPk
my head teacher said it's because it teaches them about taking turns, and grasping rules but more relevantly, because they're going to play this in kindergarten. duck duck goose will be one of the first games they play
dealing with that disappointment builds resilience and you know, that convinced me. if these kids are going to feel that disappointment about not getting a turn, i would much rather them feel it here first. where we have more capacity to care
and it really does break my heart to see some of the kids react to this game. one kid didn't get a turn and it meant a lot to her; she was crying about it later. another kid had a tear in his eye when we were starting; he didn't want to join. he hadn't gotten a turn the prev day
so much of being an adult around kids seems to be going through my own grief about the griefs they go through and you know, i see the parents who don't—can't—tolerate that. and their kids are not happy https://t.co/Fgw7dXupFj
i want them to be happy and blameless and immediately comforted forever, because i don’t for a second want them to feel something they can’t tolerate. i don’t know if i can tolerate that. i don’t know if i ever had help feeling things like that
all i wanted, was a presence that felt bigger than me, in a body that felt wiser than me, to be noticing what im feeling, and not freaking out. but still really closely paying attention to themselves, and to me and you know, i could tell when they weren’t. i’d freeze https://t.co/ynjM3FpYWx
all i wanted was for something, to be moving with what im saying, but not thrown off by it. i think that’s what jung meant when he said "alpha function". that’s what @jessicamalonso in a much simpler way calls capacity https://t.co/tXLvt7kvJh
@jessicamalonso someone said you want to do shadow work? go raise your child. and im not a parent, but im getting a tiny version of every anxiety, every thing that i felt unsupported in, a chance to meet it again
@jessicamalonso not because they’re going through that same exact thing, but because im going through it internally in echo when i see a little one go through it hello, echos of memories of the halls of myself
@jessicamalonso immediately, im immersed in what it was like to be little, in a world with humans twice as tall, stumbling around, sometimes so happy, sometimes so scared https://t.co/OBRkkFvQRM
@AskYatharth This sounds like the part that’s most hurtful long term - I imagine what the kids need after their inevitable grief is love and care, not to wave it off. Where of course over time the intention is to help them be able to hold themselves in their grief