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This is part of why it’s so important to accept that we cause other people pain. If we don’t accept that we can never get curious about it and understand it, because it would forever be too painful https://t.co/V6wjbAJSHF

You can’t actually stop hurting people until you understand deeply the ways in which you can hurt people. The only way to really learn that is to receive that feedback from the people you’ve already hurt. You can’t really stop doing something until you understand how it works

We have to accept the part of ourselves that hurt the people that we love before we can make real steps to stop https://t.co/btekEOhrti

Part of a positive relationship is accepting that we cause it despite our good intentions and that doesn’t make us evil https://t.co/wUnEPLEJ8H

It’s hard to accept that we cause pain until we can metabolize shame and touch/own up to guilt https://t.co/oSCbVrGKrz

shame is an emotion of badness, rooted in fear of being unlovable, broken, unfit for connection/belonging. it's the emotion of an inner childguilt is an emotion of integrity, of acknowledging our impact, honoring desires and agreements. it's the emotion of an adult