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part of the tenderness is the sadness of being misunderstood. but i think it also indicates a lack of purity in the gift of the effort - there's some strings attached, namely being acknowledged/appreciated for the effort. part of me definitely says "she should be grateful"
previousy tweeted about the 2nd one https://t.co/SoSmr7DgSQ
When my mom talks about me speaking with “attitude” towards her, on reflection, I think she’s actually accurately picking up vibes wise that I’m coming at her with blaming energy. And she’s been naming her boundary for decades that she’s not available for that
it's just kind of infuriating that she feels entitled to asymmetry because of filial piety, she believes she's always justified in blaming me. https://t.co/wzHacJYWBf
it's unclear to me what the relevant work is here - maybe learning to hear anger with compassion, and letting judgments wash over, learning to appreciate/allow pain, or inner child work to be able to hear blame
probably a combo of those and more? the last one is trippy and cognitive dissonance inducing, because she clearly displays conditional love today that is hard to reconcile with the realization of "ive always been loved". https://t.co/Md4Cs4gbgd
im wanting to figure out how to keep the bootstrapping - like she did always love me, and that's enough to validate that there's never been anything wrong with me... even if she thinks there's things wrong with me?