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hwaaaat there’s a counseling modality that 1. can be conducted entirely nonverbally 2. incorporates comforting physical touch?? like hugging someone if they need it?? incredible. I’ve been pretty fed up with the touch taboo in therapy, when touch can be obviously supportive
I think it’s this, not sure though, the teacher has just been calling it “physical counseling” https://t.co/EkBqd5vQAI
ok another thing coming up is apparently the US is maybe the most touch-averse culture in the whole WORLD which is inspiring me to wonder whether a norm of “ask before touching anyone” is actually helpful or not… maybe norm of “say no quick, and respect no” would be better https://t.co/waP1tzPrSa
@relic_radiation IMO this is true of any bid for connection - asking someone on a date, inviting someone to a party, wanting to catch up with someone. Bids take courage and are beautiful if they come from a place of purity and lack of expectation (openness to no)
my gawd much of what I’m learning here is - the practice of being absolutely thoroughly relaxed and delighted by the inherent humanity of the person in front of me, even as they’re sobbing or grief-screaming or being angry af I’m so gladddd for this skill!!!!!!!
with a moderate helping of “help them tap into their emotions to a deeper layer of access,” keep them in emotional flow and discharge and s t a y c o n n e c t e d, don’t leave them even if they want to hide, say something like “let’s hide together!” and be playful about it
I came here to thaw out emotional frozenness; gain emotional presence and skill. totally feel like I got that 🙏 how beautiful that there are real places to learn emotional skills. till ~now I’ve felt many such learning grounds a kinda stilted but I like this one. feels real https://t.co/YsMQ5nxjFL
goals: 1. hang out w Sun Song, I like how they live 2. I've inherited much emotional frozenness from my family. to this day I still freeze up if someone cries around me* - I'd love to instead feel confident & helpful *unless they're on my bodywork table. then I know what to do
other learnings - “read the person, not the story” wow so long as their emotions keep moving, I *do not need* to know what’s going on with them. the head has very little role to play in this process. completely nonverbal sessions are possible -
wow feeling SO grateful for the frame of a “grief initiation.” basically - there are times in our lives when something breaks open, and TEARS and WAILING hours a day for months are *exactly* what needs done. or else the ungrieved energy gets stuck and festers in us
&, so long as we’re able to stay present while this happens - it’s good &soul forming, actually (& ideally held in community!!!) feels like the more *real* version of pop-psych advice to “feel your feelings” … which is directionally onto something, but quite a flimsy container
ohhhh boy does grief ever have a sound. it's an animalistic howl that splits the sky. this weekend I made that sound a lot. like, hours. and heard it from others too, the most I have in my life. and to think, it's been in all of us this whole time...? https://t.co/afutSD8tKs
other big surprise is - clean grief leaves real renewal behind it, and can also be short. what??? multiple times I plunged into unfathomable depths and then 5m later I was like "oh I'm done" and felt light and chatty and playful
@relic_radiation yes, that’s how it’s supposed to be https://t.co/sxIQBcxSYK
trippy thing about learning to support someone else, via 'good sustained attention': any of your own stuff going about "am I doing this right??? I hope I am!!!!" is taking you *out* of presence with them. be there, behold them with relaxed delight as if they were a baby
it's not true that intensity = healing. sometimes it's spinning your wheels, or retraumatizing - aka what my teacher calls "rehearsing your distress". but there's something to a particular state of 'clean intensity' that advances the plot, and can resolve faster than we expect.