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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharthβ€’ over 2 years ago

the trade offer of codependency is you give up access i give up access to to your inner private life my inner private life 🀝 we feel vaguely and in control of our connection with each other

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharthβ€’ over 2 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

narcissism is living within and presenting a false self. with people who have been adapted to do that since a young age, 𝘣𝘦𝘀𝘒𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭π˜ͺ𝘯𝘨 𝘺𝘰𝘢𝘳 𝘳𝘦𝘒𝘭 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭π˜ͺ𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘸𝘒𝘴 𝘧𝘢𝘡π˜ͺ𝘭𝘦, there is no great loss in this trade offer

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1/14/2023
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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharthβ€’ over 2 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

in return, you gain the security of a relationship where you can mutually enable a semi-false self in each other, a self that can only withstand feeling things that wouldn’t threaten the relationship

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1/14/2023
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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharthβ€’ over 2 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

𝘣𝘦𝘀𝘒𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘢𝘳 𝘣𝘰π˜₯𝘺 𝘸𝘰𝘯𝘡 𝘭𝘦𝘡 𝘺𝘰𝘢 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭 𝘡𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭π˜ͺ𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘰𝘡𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘸π˜ͺ𝘴𝘦

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1/14/2023
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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharthβ€’ over 2 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the thing that breaks my heart the most is remembering the futility of the child https://t.co/ajvUsd5BOb

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharthβ€’ over 2 years ago

this is what learned helplessness means. learned futility you reach out so many times without finding anything there that you stop trying

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharthβ€’ over 2 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

when i say existence, i mean knowing yourself as real. i mean knowing your emotions as real. i mean having ground https://t.co/pyGkdU9DBC

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharthβ€’ over 2 years ago

if you suffered a formative lack of mirroring, you seek mirroring over and over again as a confirmation of your existence

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharthβ€’ over 2 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the feelings might leak in, show up confusing volatile ways, but ultimately your connection to self, to 𝘦𝘹π˜ͺ𝘴𝘡𝘦𝘯𝘀𝘦, to knowing your feelings are real, is more really and viscerally routed through someone else your body sensibly does not give that up.

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1/14/2023
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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharthβ€’ over 2 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

existence is middlemanned, limited through the bandwidth of what you can get mirrored through others, and you can spend a lifetime hopping between people, trying to get the thing https://t.co/15uFUB1GYg

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharthβ€’ over 2 years ago

but the point isn’t to remain middlemanned to intimacy with yourself through this person forever https://t.co/Ox9Pz4zgrq

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharthβ€’ over 2 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the thing that literally no one else can or wants to spend a full-time job doing for you unless they don’t know how to do it for themselves too, and need someone else to do it for them (existence) https://t.co/dRXbSzzzZx

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharthβ€’ almost 3 years ago

sometimes he met people who wanted to hold it and give him theirs. but that was rare, and it ended quickly

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharthβ€’ over 2 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

giving up codependency begins with self-existence https://t.co/wSCkyGzs1T

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharthβ€’ over 2 years ago

try to feel the root of the truth, rooted in the witnessing of your existence, and experience what truth is like, the fact that it exists, before speaking it https://t.co/oAzbi1Oms6

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1/14/2023
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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharthβ€’ over 2 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

keywords: because your body won’t let you feel the feelings otherwise

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1/15/2023
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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharthβ€’ over 2 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

keywords: because feeling your real feelings was futile, trade offer

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1/15/2023