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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• over 2 years ago

ā€œHere is the one commandment. Care about your partner. Care about how they’re feeling. Keep track of what they like and don’t like. Try to keep doing the things they like; try to stop doing the things they don’t like.ā€ https://t.co/H14OdjYLPh

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• over 2 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

ā€œIf you can do these things, your relationship will not explode. If you can’t do these things, [it will]… The relationship will be deeper and better if you have good sex, good communication, etc—but none of these can override the one commandment.ā€ Caring.

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• over 2 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

ā€œTo accept the burden of caring about the arbitrary, capricious desires of your partner is is to infringe on your own š˜§š˜³š˜¦š˜¦š˜„š˜°š˜®.ā€ Wasn’t it…? https://t.co/89AASyvYZK

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• over 2 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

responding to the arbitrary capricious feelings of your partner is not a failure mode—it is the thing you begin to realise understanding yourself isn’t the thing either—responding to yourself is

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• over 2 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

suddenly you have left the rationalist-in-disguise world of chasing understanding and entered the world of caring

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• over 2 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

you don’t need deep interpersonal understanding, you need to listen and care

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• over 2 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

understanding can make you a better person. it can make you care more. it can feel like care to them but understanding will never ever be the same thing as caring

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• over 2 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

this is default-world wisdom. your parents and grandparents and great-grandparents probably didn’t understand each other very well

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• over 2 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

life isn’t this quest for perfect intimacy with other people

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• over 2 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

merging is not necessary. in fact it is not always desirable this is the developmental ship of individuation you missed https://t.co/oSjUvJMLNa

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• almost 4 years ago

i still don’t know what is me i still don’t know what is me what is me is what is separate from others and also it includes the hearts of others https://t.co/KJn4fPfVlR

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• over 2 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

you remain ineffable to each other, and somehow still be in relationship

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• over 2 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

in the chakra of love, a balance taut in the force of yourself and another person, with the beautiful ineffable between https://t.co/R5mbQopwe3

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• over 2 years ago

notes on the fourth chakra of love https://t.co/HN4oDK4rOv

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• over 2 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

(Fe/Ti users discovering Fi/Te)

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• over 2 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

source: https://t.co/vSxTCeY6dj

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• over 2 years ago

>Whoever convinced young women that the secret of a healthy relationship is deep interpersonal understanding is guilty of some kind of a war crime. https://t.co/xBaiuYkWtl https://t.co/ceKBrhA2qp

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• over 2 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

related: https://t.co/s69NAqTg7d

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• over 2 years ago

the understanding is found in the enacted relationship you have with people not something in your head, or god forbid even your heart. those supplement the enacted understanding, but only supplement https://t.co/vSxTCeY6dj

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• over 2 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

https://t.co/4EwiclNT7F

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