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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• over 2 years ago

i still have a part that feels “in trouble” if someone is mad at me. i remember when people were mad at me as a child, and i had to fawn at them until they were satisfied what’s helped is just.. listening. is the other person actually doing that? oh, no, what’re they doing?

42 1
12/16/2022
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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• over 2 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

there’s a curiosity that’s still alive and well. a curiosity that wants to know more about the truth of the world a curiosity that expects reasonable care towards me. and will leave if not eventually met. and a curiosity that understands why people might feel the way they do

7 2
12/16/2022
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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• over 2 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

by itself, the curiosity doesn’t fix or heal anything but it grants extra capacity to be with the experience https://t.co/hN7tyeRMAe

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• almost 3 years ago

sometimes you don’t need to resolve problems specifically. sometimes you just need to increase your body’s capacity to handle, and they get resolved automatically

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12/16/2022
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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• over 2 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

being alive is messy and confusing and of course i wish for people and friends to protect help me figure out what’s going on https://t.co/8aaeX6f431

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• almost 3 years ago

@relic_radiation reminds me of this Aurora video “i often think that being human is an extreme sport … and on those days i always tell myself that: aurora, no pressure. as long as you end up in your own bed alive, you are officially a successful human being” https://t.co/ISsHEcwmGL

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12/16/2022
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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• over 2 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

curiosity offers me capacity at a time when i feel overwhelm it’s offering myself a lil jacket https://t.co/apm6RQsROd

6 0
12/16/2022
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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• over 2 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the biggest trick the devil ever pulled was making you think continued curiosity about your experience was an unsustainable way to live

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12/16/2022
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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• over 2 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the truth is you decide what’s sustainable when i was grinding tasks every 15 minutes of the day in high school, i don’t think i had time to feel curious about my experience the machine isn’t designed to reward healthy humans

6 0
12/16/2022
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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• over 2 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

not all my relationships might immediately survive or be happy if i stopped trigger-response fawning maybe that’s fine actually. seeing what stays

6 0
12/16/2022
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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• over 2 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

choosing to prioritise the life i want to live, and accepting any costs

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12/16/2022
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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• over 2 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

i don’t think 95% of my relationships will actually break. they’d probably get stronger but it might *feel* like they’re slipping away, in the moment. so i have to accept the emotion. the bravery is just that emotional moment of crossing the bridge https://t.co/E4zSK7wjTu

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• over 2 years ago

the brief feeling of separation, if surrendered to, is the bridge to aliveness an aliveness that feels ecstatic and informed by the now

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7 0
12/16/2022
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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• over 2 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the truth is if i ever try something and it’s not working, i can just go back i’m not actually stuck with things forever i can explore new ways of being knowing they’re not forever

12 0
12/16/2022
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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• over 2 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the trouble ofc is when your starting out with an insecure system, the exploratory system is already kind of down doesn’t wanna explore. doesn’t wanna leave. doesn’t wanna poke https://t.co/OgL9Yg3r3u

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• almost 3 years ago

a lot of attachment and trauma stuff is rehabilitation of the exploratory system

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12/16/2022
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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• about 2 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

oops, that tweet got deleted https://t.co/JjEWipFLJt

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• about 2 years ago

It’s the kind of thing an attentive partner, who is so fiercely kind and just cares if you are alright would do, for they care about my experience intrinsically—the moment they offer to stop the night walk and pull out the jacket is startling,

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7/26/2023