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It actually does not make me live in fear? This might just be me but I’m like, damn that line between life and death is awfully faint. You could accidentally step over it any day. So be prepared but don’t forget to live!!
Also when I was dealing with this I read Victor Frankl and that one Mary Oliver poem and was like omg this my second attempt at my wild and precious life after I already fucked up the first time, let’s get it right this time!!!!
On dealing with grief, I recommend this book. But personally it was, initially, the experience of going through waves, then coming to understand that one must walk the entirety of the length the tunnel, and finally accepting death as an integral part of my understanding of life https://t.co/TDpjw86UvX
I remember in Into Thin Air krakauer talks about shock at the first frozen body and then the next are just like, a small deadening inside. I think that varies with how close you are to the person but I definitely feel a growing sense of numbness with each phone call
anyways, I feel like this awareness of death is quite good for me. It makes me go for things, be a little hedonistic, and not wallow too much. I celebrate a sunny day & buy myself ice cream, I laugh at my melodramas, and if I want to change something in life I don’t wait too long