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đź§µ Thread (13 tweets)

there’s a feeling im trying to describe, where feelings went from feeling like the least real thing, to the most real thing this is what it felt like to be the least real thing https://t.co/WmUB3KrkJ6

i have to justify, or they’re not real if i can’t explain it, it doesn’t exist anymore https://t.co/upOAbXHGPr

now it’s weird. it’s the other way around. i don’t have a basis for moving in reality if not for feeling https://t.co/lNsU0dldWe

how do you justify doing any one thing over another once you’ve figured out basic survival? you can’t. you’re just lost. (i was lost) https://t.co/qEkGMWscbS

You may not know what a Test entails, but you know you want to "do well" on it. You do this my Hunting For The Rubric and figuring out how to maximize your score. some results: crippling indecision when no rubric is present, and ignoring anything that won't be on the Test

*except* in particular fields, which was something like explanations. i was damn good at taking complicated topics and explaining them simply. i had taste https://t.co/Iev3Z1B2UU

i just didn’t have experience applying that to my life paths now i do and it’s fucking great https://t.co/JzqDfdMtsv

back to feelings: the feeling im trying to describe is something like: i am choosing with every moment, with the weight and brunt of those feelings, “yes, i would like this life path!” the weight of those feelings is real

the weight of the feelings moves my body and reality around, rather than being these little things, that if stopped by an Ask for an explanation, will be stopped weight https://t.co/WmUB3KrkJ6

the feelings are become real to me now; they have weight spent a while attuning to them, making them real to me, making them have weight https://t.co/lNsU0dldWe


then people have to step into my reality. my parents would have to step into my sensemaking to make sense of my life it might be disorienting for them, but it’s how im running my business/“my show” as long as i can stay solvent, i am running the show https://t.co/SWVm7cZTlp

my feelings are the only thing making life real to me right now every moment, every little step, there is a sense of reality that comes from within me i have the thing that i thought was only in other people. i have the right to create a reality, as long as i can stay solvent