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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• over 3 years ago

there’s a feeling im trying to describe, where feelings went from feeling like the least real thing, to the most real thing this is what it felt like to be the least real thing https://t.co/WmUB3KrkJ6

yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• about 4 years ago

im realising, as an adult, if i feel a scarcity of socks . . . i can just order more socks previously, as a kid, i would have had to justify why i need more socks, and i sort of internally knew i would lose that argument

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• over 3 years ago

Replying to @AskYatharth

i have to justify, or they’re not real if i can’t explain it, it doesn’t exist anymore https://t.co/upOAbXHGPr

yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• over 3 years ago

“feelings have no real-world utility until i justify them” can you see how i learned that https://t.co/WmUB3KrkJ6

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• over 3 years ago

Replying to @AskYatharth

now it’s weird. it’s the other way around. i don’t have a basis for moving in reality if not for feeling https://t.co/lNsU0dldWe

yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago

But today for example | just intuitively know it was a black coffee day. > you didn’t have to justify for yourself why Yeah! Just “this is what | want today” “cool gotchu.” https://t.co/GTkPLfGxFr

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• over 3 years ago

Replying to @AskYatharth

how do you justify doing any one thing over another once you’ve figured out basic survival? you can’t. you’re just lost. (i was lost) https://t.co/qEkGMWscbS

Hazard@natural_hazard• about 5 years ago

You may not know what a Test entails, but you know you want to "do well" on it. You do this my Hunting For The Rubric and figuring out how to maximize your score. some results: crippling indecision when no rubric is present, and ignoring anything that won't be on the Test

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• over 3 years ago

Replying to @AskYatharth

i projected forward into my future 40 years, to the perfect job, perfect exit, perfect wife, perfect kids, and realised . . . i was just lost i had no guidance i had never really spent time cultivating taste

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• over 3 years ago

Replying to @AskYatharth

*except* in particular fields, which was something like explanations. i was damn good at taking complicated topics and explaining them simply. i had taste https://t.co/Iev3Z1B2UU

yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago

It really points to how much my personality is that of a explainer. To digest and make intuitive. This is my most core competency.

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• over 3 years ago

Replying to @AskYatharth

i just didn’t have experience applying that to my life paths now i do and it’s fucking great https://t.co/JzqDfdMtsv

yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• over 3 years ago

for that, as i think @natural_hazard has been pointing to in a lot of his threads, one can start cultivating taste https://t.co/pX5jOVMs2f

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• over 3 years ago

Replying to @AskYatharth

back to feelings: the feeling im trying to describe is something like: i am choosing with every moment, with the weight and brunt of those feelings, “yes, i would like this life path!” the weight of those feelings is real

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• over 3 years ago

Replying to @AskYatharth

the weight of the feelings moves my body and reality around, rather than being these little things, that if stopped by an Ask for an explanation, will be stopped weight https://t.co/WmUB3KrkJ6

yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• about 4 years ago

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• over 3 years ago

Replying to @AskYatharth

the feelings are become real to me now; they have weight spent a while attuning to them, making them real to me, making them have weight https://t.co/lNsU0dldWe

yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• over 3 years ago

Replying to @AskYatharth

. https://t.co/jhowlZQUyQ

yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• over 3 years ago

there is such a thing as *making real to you* make real = make it part of your consciously experienced reality. not just your unconsciously experienced one

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• over 3 years ago

Replying to @AskYatharth

the choice of that life path is chosen by the gravity of my feelings. my feelings sorta make that life path real. those feelings have reality to me now

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• over 3 years ago

Replying to @AskYatharth

then people have to step into my reality. my parents would have to step into my sensemaking to make sense of my life it might be disorienting for them, but it’s how im running my business/“my show” as long as i can stay solvent, i am running the show https://t.co/SWVm7cZTlp

yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• over 3 years ago

my feelings are the only thing making life real to me right now every moment, every little step, there is a sense of reality that comes from within me i have the thing that i thought was only in other people. i have the right to create a reality, as long as i can stay solvent

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