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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 3 years ago

people-pleasing is a misnomer. it’s actually about pleasing yourself you’re actually trying to desperately please yourself, and it’s based on keeping other people’s reactions within a tiny window

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1/25/2022

yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 3 years ago

Replying to @AskYatharth

people-pleasing is trying to micro-manage other people’s reactions into a tiny zone you’re comfortable with any other reaction from them, outside that tiny window, you’d be uncomfortable with so a lot of your energy goes into making sure their reactions stay within that window

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1/25/2022

yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 3 years ago

Replying to @AskYatharth

how you phrase things, how much “room,” so to speak, you leave allowing judgment is the logical opposite of people-pleasing

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1/25/2022

yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 3 years ago

Replying to @AskYatharth

surrendering to the judgment letting other people control you and in that space . . . you are free

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1/25/2022

yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 3 years ago

Replying to @AskYatharth

we have to be true before we can usefully be a bit fake https://t.co/iZIwi3KgID

yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago

ok i did it Wrote a quick post on urge to shitpoast vs insight to do. https://t.co/fAblQgHjx9 https://t.co/OBNuzDNHhR

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1/25/2022

yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 3 years ago

Replying to @AskYatharth

. https://t.co/gtVGFXV1sx

yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• about 4 years ago

The freedom to be is in many ways the same as the freedom to be judged. https://t.co/iMa9GlIzXU

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1/25/2022

yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 3 years ago

Replying to @AskYatharth

. https://t.co/E1eVMzD1Zl

yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• about 4 years ago

It’s when you give up the sense of control. As long as you’re trying to control someone else, you’re trying to control their perception of you. To control their perception of you, you have to pretend to be a certain way.

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1/25/2022

yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 3 years ago

Replying to @AskYatharth

. https://t.co/ErtsPjPwTH

yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 3 years ago

@ashclj also a lot of controlling MY behavior because of what others may think but weirdly that's actually still me trying to control their behavior because im trying to create a certain outcome

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1/25/2022

yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 3 years ago

Replying to @AskYatharth

why does this matter? because: https://t.co/FK4FdGQJwD

yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 3 years ago

there’s a kind of drama possible when you think people-pleasing is something others do to you drama ~= the ability to postpone change until they change first

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1/25/2022

yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 3 years ago

Replying to @AskYatharth

it seems i made a version of this thread 6 months ago you can compare them and see you how you feel https://t.co/eInIH48ywo

yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• about 4 years ago

People-pleasing is a real misnomer. It should really be called “pleasing the part of you that is anxious” instead.

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1/25/2022

christian@cxgonzalez• over 3 years ago

Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth >it’s all control theory? >🔫always has been

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5/2/2022