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when we realise it’s about our discomfort, to the other person’s reaction, the focus gets put in the right place not in the “supposedly problematic” behaviour of pleasing other people but in the great discomfort we feel when they say something outside that window https://t.co/Tr8CEEohrV
without being there with ourselves in that moment, we’re left to continue just occupying the space of what others think of us we feel the gut-wrenching pain in our stomach, but there’s no room to make that real, in any way besides how it might impact others if they perceived it
people-pleasing and narcissism are both about when how other people feel about you is more real than anything else you know making yourself real is like a magic trick “poof.” all of a sudden this person appears out of nowhere “you mean to say you were there all along?”