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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthover 3 years ago

there’s a kind of drama possible when you think people-pleasing is something others do to you drama ~= the ability to postpone change until they change first

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1/25/2022
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthover 3 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

when we realise it’s about our discomfort, to the other person’s reaction, the focus gets put in the right place not in the “supposedly problematic” behaviour of pleasing other people but in the great discomfort we feel when they say something outside that window https://t.co/Tr8CEEohrV

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthover 3 years ago

people-pleasing is a misnomer. it’s actually about pleasing yourself you’re actually trying to desperately please yourself, and it’s based on keeping other people’s reactions within a tiny window

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthover 3 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

being with ourselves during that moment means there’s at least one person there with us it makes that moment real. it makes the discomfort real. it makes it real there’s something there in that moment

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthover 3 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

without being there with ourselves in that moment, we’re left to continue just occupying the space of what others think of us we feel the gut-wrenching pain in our stomach, but there’s no room to make that real, in any way besides how it might impact others if they perceived it

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthover 3 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

people-pleasing and narcissism are both about when how other people feel about you is more real than anything else you know making yourself real is like a magic trick “poof.” all of a sudden this person appears out of nowhere “you mean to say you were there all along?”

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthover 3 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

“yes. but i didn’t matter”

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthover 3 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

. https://t.co/D7W4O1sxVU

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthover 3 years ago

was reading @natural_hazard’s threads last night he gets at this in a useful way he said there’s a kind of person, usually an excellent person, who is able to do things very well, and so he ends up producing

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