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QC@QiaochuYuan• over 3 years ago

there are parts of my process or my practice or w/e you wanna call it that are actually pretty important but idk how to talk about them. one is a move that is like “allowing the body to do what it wants” and that’s where all the shaking and hyperventilating come from

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1/4/2022
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QC@QiaochuYuan• over 3 years ago
Replying to @QiaochuYuan

i learned how to do this fairly suddenly, iirc around 2018 and inspired by impro but i might be misremembering, and actually trotted it out as a party trick a few times b/c the results were so funny to me. shaking, almost-crying, insane laughing. i have no idea how to teach it

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1/4/2022
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QC@QiaochuYuan• over 3 years ago
Replying to @QiaochuYuan

i used to call it “releasing” but i think “allowing” is more accurate. it’s something like taking my feet off the brakes of an inhibition process i was running all the time and am hopefully running a bit less now

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1/4/2022
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QC@QiaochuYuan• over 3 years ago
Replying to @QiaochuYuan

also i recognize now that there are safety considerations around this sort of practice. in some people it could surface emotional and/or trauma material that isn’t ready to be looked at yet. so uh you’ve been warned. needs to be paired with some kind of grounding?

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1/4/2022
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QC@QiaochuYuan• over 3 years ago
Replying to @QiaochuYuan

nevertheless it has actually been important for me, in the background as a muscle i have access to and don’t need to think about much anymore. there’s a lot of subtle things like this i think, tricky to talk about or teach, that some people don’t need and others desperately do

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1/4/2022
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QC@QiaochuYuan• over 3 years ago
Replying to @QiaochuYuan

this is perhaps only the kind of thing you need if you were punished as a child by being forced to hold your body still in an uncomfortable position for long periods of time, or similar 🙃🙃🙃

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1/4/2022
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QC@QiaochuYuan• over 3 years ago
Replying to @QiaochuYuan

finally this tweet is topical again, it’s been awhile old friend https://t.co/B0K1FDTR5m

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QC@QiaochuYuan• almost 6 years ago

hey remember how we went to school where we spent 8 hours a day for over a decade having what our bodies could do completely under the control of authority figures boy i wonder if that had any lasting effects

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1/4/2022
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QC@QiaochuYuan• over 3 years ago
Replying to @QiaochuYuan

funnily enough it is impossible for me to go straight to crying using just “allowing” and nothing else even if i am very sad, i have no idea why. the tears don’t quite come unless i either name some feelings or wail loudly, depending. both is even better

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1/4/2022
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QC@QiaochuYuan• over 3 years ago
Replying to @QiaochuYuan

lol someone just reminded me what the actual origin story is, i learned how to do this from a practice a tantra guy suggested to me of masturbating without orgasm every day. sexual energy kept building up until it was unbearable and i could “release” it into shaking https://t.co/7alu8fLoWa

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QC@QiaochuYuan• over 3 years ago

i learned how to do this fairly suddenly, iirc around 2018 and inspired by impro but i might be misremembering, and actually trotted it out as a party trick a few times b/c the results were so funny to me. shaking, almost-crying, insane laughing. i have no idea how to teach it

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1/4/2022
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QC@QiaochuYuan• over 3 years ago
Replying to @QiaochuYuan

another modality that calls it "discharging," that's a pretty good name too. and this chart is *so* interesting. i get laughter a lot so seeing that it can indicate boredom, light anger, or light fear is... interesting 😅 https://t.co/kDDTU2F8qt

12 0
1/5/2022
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QC@QiaochuYuan• over 3 years ago
Replying to @QiaochuYuan

followup thread about the sexual practice https://t.co/kvMW8xTv0r

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QC@QiaochuYuan• over 3 years ago

okay so i've been asked for more details about the sexual practice i mentioned the other day. in short, the practice is to masturbate for ~20m without porn and without allowing yourself to ejaculate, just paying attention to sensation https://t.co/b8NqQT0CfT

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1/5/2022
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QC@QiaochuYuan• over 3 years ago
Replying to @QiaochuYuan

also wow the co-counseling link above has some good stuff, here's a few choice quotes. interesting claim here that "discharges" happen in a specific order: grief (tears), then fears (trembling, shivering, laughter), anger (loud words, movement), boredom (talking, laughter) https://t.co/Qley3DOOKf

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1/5/2022
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QC@QiaochuYuan• over 3 years ago
Replying to @QiaochuYuan

very interesting, very interesting. roughly consistent with my experience i think? although i often find i want to move back and forth frequently, maybe that's because new stuff keeps coming up. hmm. hmmmmmm

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1/5/2022
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Vivid Void@VividVoid_• over 3 years ago
Replying to @QiaochuYuan

@QiaochuYuan Hmmm

1 0
4/16/2022
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QC@QiaochuYuan• over 3 years ago
Replying to @QiaochuYuan

oh i mixed metaphors here in a weird way - the brakes are the inhibition process, the gas is the body doing what it wants

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1/4/2022
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Ra is DJing at Cascade Camp 9-12 to 9-15@slimepriestess• over 3 years ago
Replying to @QiaochuYuan

@QiaochuYuan I think I learned this though a combination of processing the "sit fucking still" trauma, getting into a safe place to let my body release, and doing enough acid to re-teach myself how to stim after it had been beaten out of me.

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1/4/2022