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seeing a bunch of kids talk about romance and love in blundersome ways idk how y’all are so smart sometimes & fuck up the most basic matters of the heart (prob directly related) initial chemistry etc is the most superficial component of love, it buys you a seat at the table
if you’re serious about love, you see that it’s something you have to build, work on. and you have to find someone else who is serious too. and you have to pursue a shared understanding together. this will be tedious and uncomfortable and sometimes gross & painful! Love is work!!
(Nerd) yknow,,, I do think,,,,,you could probably apply the mvp model… to marital/partnership type relations too in all of these cases – the general principle is, we are trying to put in a tolerable amount of gruntwork to hit emotional payoffs that make more gruntwork tolerable https://t.co/PGGQhIksya
but once you experience that state of flow, from work to payoff to work to payoff, and you can pass things to your partner wordlessly in the dark and witness them pass it back, bc your shared understanding is so fire? then love is easy, love is effortless https://t.co/786mY53na5
sometimes I suspect that the simplest, most powerful and most important life skill is the ability to pass a ball. to receive and return. with others, and also with yourself. if you get good at this basic thing you can extrapolate from it to getting good at almost anything https://t.co/p4qaJ0mHm7
Maybe...observe children at a playground? It’s informal, improvisational, sensitive - failures are small and graceful, individual interactions are not burdened with the weight of the other person’s whole existence. Pressure is minimal, rejection is not a big deal. Just play https://t.co/o9I6RWISRQ
there is an effortless on the other side of effort. consider a musician, who without a thought, plays beautiful music that speaks through her soul, to yours. and you can see in her face and body, she’s not even there!! it’s happening *through* her, she herself is blissfully free https://t.co/V8X4GRwA1l
hell yeah I’ll say this about my own tweeting. you think I’m planning these tweets? you think I have any idea where these tweets are going? if there’s anything compelling about them at all, it’s that I have no idea wtf is next, just like you https://t.co/mVr2SZIaL8
it’s when you stop clinging on to what you think you want, stop hankering needily for a particular outcome, and allow the world to unfold fully in the present moment… that you can really receive the most compelling messages that people unknowingly send out https://t.co/iOzhY6PuVY
The best questions you can ask someone is in that space where you’re paying close attention to them - to their face, their expressions, their body language, and you notice that they’re holding back in some way. They might not even realize themselves that they’re doing that! https://t.co/uycjsv2nZD
the kingdom of god is within you https://t.co/MiGt09lomL
