🧵 View Thread
🧵 Thread (25 tweets)
I just never wanted things enough. I didn’t want them enough with enough of a sense of autonomy to not care what got in my way. https://t.co/BmLAZCKbYd
That’s what vows are. It’s what wanting is. It’s something that’s already happened. https://t.co/s13eEjQ2G9
When I’m at the gym and just exploring, I don’t need the discipline to lift every day. Where did that discipline come from? It’s someone else’s wanting. I need the discipline to continue exploring seriously. https://t.co/ls1TOBjKjn
Are you allied to yourself? Because if you’re not, 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘤𝘪𝘱𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘧𝘶𝘤𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥. https://t.co/c0Y62ZcYOe
Then it’s just a tool for someone else’s ideas in your head to control what you do. And that doesn’t feel very good. It feels like being Pinocchio. https://t.co/rGbSpNlwQa https://t.co/rHR60G1Tuc
People think the main part about Pinnochio’s story is that he lied, but it’s not. It’s that he was a puppet. He was pulled on strings for his entire life. https://t.co/jMkY3K6jSp
Heck, I didn’t know what I wanted. “I want to be an artist.” “No, that too sounds wrong.” “But it’s a start.” It’s a sort of stumbling to truth, and the stumbling is faceplanting into cringe. https://t.co/hPoNjiiDXP
I am a privileged middle-class brat. I could not go into work for a day, and be fine. I can move my hands up and down without anyone restraining me. I have a tremendous amount of agency. The egregores haunting me were in my head.
it’s really hard to leave a life that’s giving you the shreds of intimacy and connection you are relying on it’s really hard to call out patriarchy when you don’t have a word for it it’s really hard to be asked who are by people and say i don’t not know
7. there aren’t cultural reference points for autonomy as much as there are for beating a big Bad Enemy this *singular* image from visa become sort of my reference point for autonomy there’s something i identified with here https://t.co/EmNaZzrZnl
This desire, by the way, is how kids end up with bad company. Charming manipulators know how to appeal to a child’s desire for independence, desire to be seen. This is why kids date bad boys and get hideous tattoos. To exercise their *sovereignty*. https://t.co/2Hj2NkjA3R
- Pinnochio - Zuko from Avatar - Lyra from His Dark Materials - Shinji and Asuka from Neon Genesis Evangelion all these stories are about kids who are ridiculously young it’s when our souls were set afree, but not when our hearts and minds were
it’s really hard to be checked in the same way these guys are when you never checked out https://t.co/HE6j4lZRpe
Additional tricky minefield: it's possible to fake desire. It's both true that having clarity about what you want is of the utmost importance, and that hearing this a lot while you are already in a course of place can lead you into creating a fake mission to "really care about" https://t.co/YYW8jHx9Bw
if you haven’t done something horrifying if you haven’t done something horrifying to your adopted (yes it's going to feel like yours) ideology twice if you never checked out of the memeplex of just *not caring* what the adults think all this is difficult