🧵 View Thread
🧵 Thread (29 tweets)
Vows can mean different things. You can take the vows well before you feel any of this, when it’s all still hazy, but you have an intrigue and curiosity in this direction. In that case, the vows mean, “I already feel a pull towards this direction . . .
That’s what celebration is. Humans celebrate, and it’s a core part of their telos. What celebrations do is create a salient line, a “before” context and an “after,” to allow for change in our behaviour across these contexts. Behaviour change happens best in change of contexts.
What rites of passage do is let everyone know socially and you psychologically: Hey, there’s something different now. Your body is pretty much the same as it was before. But it will be responded to differently to it now.
You can’t vow to something you’re not already (prepared to be) committed to. You can take a vow even when not sure. Even then, what you’re vowing to and affirming is, “Hey, I have an intrigue here.” That much is true. I will affirm that.
@malcolm_ocean changed this with me for marriage. It can be treated as a fact about oneself, an affirmation, a decision in that sense. https://t.co/cDXjsS4RmP
@AskYatharth When someone asks "Will you marry me?" you can frame the response as a commitment... but what if it were just a *fact*? "Will a cup of water left out evaporate?" Yes. Of course. How could it be otherwise? "Will you marry me?" Yes. Of course. How could it be otherwise?
@AskYatharth respecting the actual thing & not getting too confused by the appearance of the thing while also noting that sometimes it's possible to get confused & think the actual thing is the appearance, etc, ad infinitum
An example of what I mean, when I say descriptive commitment. ”i feel loyal to you” it isn’t a choice, or a feeling it’s just describing the world as it is https://t.co/A01bGE3SxL
in short: the vow that can be spoken is not the true vow https://t.co/Cm6h5wONVM
@AskYatharth Ah yes https://t.co/dyWrywjNsJ
@AskYatharth When someone asks "Will you marry me?" you can frame the response as a commitment... but what if it were just a *fact*? "Will a cup of water left out evaporate?" Yes. Of course. How could it be otherwise? "Will you marry me?" Yes. Of course. How could it be otherwise?
@CountJ0ecool Looks like it struck a nerve with you too, yeah. https://t.co/9mocGqRCfa
@AskYatharth I had an experience of starting to see that in March 2018, specifically re bodhisattva. Vibes with this, too: https://t.co/c3BC44xuJJ
@Malcolm_Ocean Yes! That’s how I wanted to phrase it. Not “I vow to X.” But “I am noticing how X is already a truth set into motion.” Always ever only a noticing. Yet maybe calling to action, and recruiting resources around it with awareness.
@AskYatharth I'm not certain but it feels to me like "only a noticing" can go too far and put Will in its shadow. Somehow this feels related: https://t.co/CPv2K1LL2N
@AskYatharth Ah the Visa thing is related to "making good on" https://t.co/WNGHeA11W0
@metaLulie @AskYatharth In my (extensive 😆) experience it's not exactly total unconflictedness but a kind of understanding that your parts will be able to figure out how to make good on what you've agreed to even given whatever conflicts are there (and only agreeing to things for which this is true)