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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthabout 4 years ago

wtf are these search results? these aren’t people being embarrassed they’re people playing at being embarrassed is there a better image search website https://t.co/6XPk9tuBl6

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthabout 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

they’re not even trying to be embarrassed. this isn’t what embarrassment looks like they’re trying to give back like this . . logo of embarrassment. a advertising-ready fetished emotionally-sanitised version, that is a simulcra of the original but the original has been forgotten

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthabout 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

it’s a lot like what living in America, or living in Hollywood, this strangely paralysing, self-conscious stage of the world, feels like; everyone is so hyper-aware of being observed, 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘴 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘦

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthabout 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

real embarrassment 𝘩𝘶𝘳𝘵𝘴 it hurts to even look at at real embarrassment is having the wind taken out of you. seeing something sincere & precious, get crushed something dies in embarrassment, man, a sort of will to sovereignty, & the part of us that knows that pain flinches https://t.co/Wyq8b6RQyW

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthabout 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

im being overly narrowing maybe there’s a distinction to be made between *social* embarrassment (which is where you feel/express the embarrassment in a social situation) and *unmitigated personal* embarassment (the kind that makes you dissociate, and is maybe closer to shame)

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthabout 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

we express social embarrassment all the time it’s a kind of handling our emotions as we go fluidly woven into the texture & fabric of other humans, an organic response, and processing of something natural, expressed in a social context embarrassed, annoyed, abashed https://t.co/KBvUeRNFWU

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthabout 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

i guess this is the main form of embarrassment for most people i guess i usually think about the second kind. a dissociated kind. a kind when your connection to other people . . disappears

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthabout 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

like it retreated inward so hard to a place other people couldn’t find, so they couldn’t hurt you — couldn’t kill off something important enough your body knew was important that kind of embarrassment is what feels “real” to me related words: humiliated, ashamed, crushed https://t.co/eFcD8Mqsvi

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthabout 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the difference between the words is: type 1: embarrassed, annoyed, abashed type 2: humiliated, ashamed, crushed

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthabout 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the second one is more internal, internally directed →←, crushed, internal, numb the second one is more outward focused, ← →, the energy of the embarrassment goes towards being expressed outside

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthabout 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

maybe that’s a big difference between nerds and normies. or socially integrated people vs isolated people one directs their emotional energy outside. causes external violence maybe. but it is resolved by and within the group. sense-making it outside the head https://t.co/JsLqB43rHH

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthabout 4 years ago

there are people who were externally violent and learned to be kind then there are people who were internally violent, and learned to be kind https://t.co/fljAdeHVNF

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthabout 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the other directs their energy inwards. to inside their head. where they do all their processing. it’s where stuff feels space but often doesn’t allow for as clean resolution, and is difficult & confusing, to understand and resolve, because it’s not externally expressed https://t.co/mqwg9cFSXi

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthabout 4 years ago

Normies do thinking and sense-making in a distributed way. They talk as a group and come to an individual sense of what they think. Nerds are the insane who try to do all their thinking in their own head. https://t.co/h3f2eWijKv https://t.co/7Q8ugiPYOR

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthabout 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

maybe i’ll call these “socially-directed emotions” vs “internally-directed emotions” they feel very different a lot of balance may be gained in shifting from one to the other

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthabout 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

e.g. for someone blaming others and directing outwards all the time — finding some sense of internal, individual responsibility, and processing

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthabout 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

for nerds locked in their head—letting and trusting the social-emotional to do their work, and 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨, instead of trying to fix often partly fundamentally social problems in their head

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthabout 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

still, back to the original search results, there’s a third kind of emotional expression still the 𝘴𝘪𝘮𝘶𝘭𝘤𝘳𝘢 emotion where it’s barely one anymore. it’s just the rotting remnants of one, turned into a legible symbol for others to know what you’re talking about https://t.co/VTKDMEMgm4

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthabout 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

but emotionally dead — a WALL-E world https://t.co/12AEDnnLL0

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthabout 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

each of these (1. socially-expressed 2. internally-expressed 3. simulcra) types of emotional expression have distinctly different images 1. you might find in most real pictures 2. is difficult, you really only see it in movie stills—stuff where something real really is happening

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthabout 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

3. is the kind you find in stock photos (makes sense, advertising; want the “deadness”)

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthabout 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

fuck i think the word i was looking for all along was “mortified”

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthabout 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

no, these are still terrible, wtf, my theory still applies “social” mortification vs “internal” mortification (vs simulcra mortification) https://t.co/DQ3hV7ppax

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthabout 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

this, by the way, is why stock photos — and online creepy articles and youtube videos using stock videos — are so creepy they’re this weird fucking unreal simulcra self that rightfully should weird you out

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthabout 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

unless you have already accepted and integrated the nature of the simulcra world we live in and are at peace with it (that’s my goal) bashing simulcra = reactionary seeing things as they are = kinda cool, and points in the direction of a resilient earnestness

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthabout 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

with socially-directed expression, people are still sort of carrying some sense of being . . of being connected with internally-directed expression, they are just . . . lost. something died with them

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthabout 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

i think it really is painful any and all times we see any depictions of internally-directed expression, being crushed, and that’s why they are so rare they really do make you feel bad. no, not just a social kind of “aww, that’s terrible 😢” bad.

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthabout 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

you can’t pass it off. you really do feel bad socially-directed expression evokes socially-directed empathy but internally-directed expression evokes its own internally-directed feeling of being crushed in us the pain in us that knows the pain of them

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