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There’s a similar version of this going on with Discipline, Happiness, Motivation—all of those. We have a tortured relationship with the Thing. And so we know, to naïvely chase after it, 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘶𝘴, would not be right. https://t.co/m6tNs91xE0
E.g., here’s Jocko Willinck sincerely espousing Discipline = Freedom. But to the self-coercer, even if they have discipline, they 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭 𝘧𝘳𝘦𝘦. https://t.co/SOMZWJFRcE
There are people who can sincerely note down points of gratitude, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭 𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘵𝘶𝘥𝘦. Only ever a tortured version of it. They are right to reject gratitude practices, as presented to them. https://t.co/GXzlyQZCwc
Sure, discipline will get you financial freedom, temporal freedom, but for a person whose core wound is autonomy—they will still not feel a kind of freedom: they kind they care about. https://t.co/epD3T1roB9 https://t.co/SSf0WsMB74
Are you allied to me even if I don’t change? No? Then you are not allied to me, and I am 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘧𝘶𝘤𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘳𝘦𝘦 in a way I want to be. https://t.co/1QjCfoq8ZO
Same with fucking motivation. They are insanely powerful nexus of structure in my life when I 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 to do something, and the fucking psy-op keeping me alive in a life I don’t care to live otherwise. https://t.co/jC16zaczVB
I wonder if this is partly why “I want empathy for my problem, not solutions” matters. Because if someone doesn’t have empathy—they don’t give a fuck. They don’t give a fuck about seeing you through your emotional blocks as they exist . . . https://t.co/UN06Ty2894
. . . if their version of the solution doesn’t work for you, because your relationship with it is tortured. Empathy means you care about the person’s actual relationship with the solutions, tortured as it may be, instead of the one you wish they might have had.
When Jocko Willink talks about reacting to things with 𝘎𝘰𝘰𝘥, he isn’t just saying it. He means it. He isn’t doing the sugar-coated version of the thing. He is doing the thing. https://t.co/auYwHdYH1C https://t.co/lAq7Qvcd9R
In a way you might not know what means because you don’t know how to do it yet. Your way of doing it would be tortured. You are doing what any human being is capable of doing. Relating to it from the perspective of your experience.
The opportunity we have, though, is to recognise we might need to relate to the experience—Happiness, Motivation, Discipline—in a way that does not relate as much to our experiences. https://t.co/NmBTweewKs
We keep our mind open, for a feeling we did not yet have a name for. That has nothing to do with Naval bros or hustlers or other people grifting themselves harder than others can grift them in a way you know you are prone to also doing and that causes you pain. https://t.co/pv7Pqo6uwp