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Monogamy can often be “I am using the weight of morality to ensure we have a somewhat productive relationship.” Polyamory can be “How do I respect you as a continued autonomous, free individual and still build a meaningful relationship together?” https://t.co/MlGekazcjp
Monogamy is social infrastructures to help two humans coordinate. Poly is building an alternative social structure based more on respecting autonomy and sovereignty. https://t.co/n6OcnMZ0ET
Morality is a Schelling point for conflict resolutions till it becomes a court of moral law that completely doesn’t matter or change the fact of what’s felt, and the fact that this hopefully matters to both people in the relationship. That’s all. That’s all there ever was.
The alternative isn’t necessarily better. It often can’t be a drop in substitute for the mainstream. It doesn’t do everything the mainstream does. It wouldn’t scale. But it is a joy and vitality to have alternatives in society that inspire and challenge into change.
By poly, I don’t mean so much “multiple relationships” as much as the spirit of it, which is a looking for social infrastructure to respect each other beyond the monogamy package. https://t.co/3KbdEmevSv
What I see the spirit of poly as: “freedom underlying loyalty” You can have a poly-like relationship where you’re essentially with one person. https://t.co/tM1UA6NuQp
Basically my position on poly. https://t.co/EGpcTb8OOq