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🧵 Thread (15 tweets)

Visakan Veerasamy@visakanv• over 4 years ago

I don’t believe that status is a zero sum game, not in a way that matters

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Visakan Veerasamy@visakanv• over 4 years ago

Replying to @visakanv

I also don’t believe that status intrinsically makes people happy. There are lots of high-status people who are absolutely miserable

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Visakan Veerasamy@visakanv• over 4 years ago

Replying to @visakanv

you have to respect yourself first. if you don’t respect yourself, the admiration of others feels hollow & fake, and the more people express adulation, the more miserable you feel. You can see this in some celebrities, especially those who are trapped performing in act they hate

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Visakan Veerasamy@visakanv• over 4 years ago

Replying to @visakanv

It’s also possible to be happy and not have much status, I’ve met lovely people like this and there is a glow about them. Y’know, I bet Alexander was sincere if/when he said “if I were not Alexander, I would like to be Diogenes”. He saw before him a man who was truly free https://t.co/h0lButBz9v

Visakan Veerasamy@visakanv• over 5 years ago

Just occurred to me that this was a classic exchange between a VC and a shitposter 2,300 years ago https://t.co/WFaJOR1oix

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Visakan Veerasamy@visakanv• over 4 years ago

Replying to @visakanv

If I may, I would say that in my experience, “happiness” is a function of - earning your own self-respect - living in accordance with your values - building relationships with people you respect - doing work you enjoy and believe in - bring playful and curious and kind

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Visakan Veerasamy@visakanv• over 4 years ago

Replying to @visakanv

I can tell you more about this. When I was about 22 or so I had a bunch of “status” as a “renowned blogger”. But I did not respect myself and I did not respect my work. So I walked away from it. It was painful, alienating, isolating. I felt hollow and cold and alone

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Visakan Veerasamy@visakanv• over 4 years ago

Replying to @visakanv

I worked really hard for several years to try and build new meaning for myself. It was a really tedious & painful process and it felt like I was working against myself in all directions. In retrospect I realise this is probably too difficult for most people to do alone like I did https://t.co/mREZSxrx4b

Visakan Veerasamy@visakanv• over 10 years ago

I just wish that I'd get some sort of intrinsic reward for it. That I'd feel like I accomplished something. I don't feel it. I feel empty.

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Visakan Veerasamy@visakanv• over 4 years ago

Replying to @visakanv

And here I have two separate contradictory things to say, which is 1. You are always alone 2. You are never alone

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Visakan Veerasamy@visakanv• over 4 years ago

Replying to @visakanv

If you think you’re miserable because you lack status, I bet you’d still be miserable if you were bestowed status (look up what happens to lottery winners) The thing you should probably be seeking, (in my opinion, based on 100s of conversations) is not status but self-respect https://t.co/O4NFz9k0r7

Visakan Veerasamy@visakanv• about 6 years ago

Everyday is a new opportunity to assign value to things, to decide what is important, what is beautiful, what is good, what is deserving. In this regard you are truly the Monarch of your life, first of your name, bla bla https://t.co/YGXHATd5Ke

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Visakan Veerasamy@visakanv• over 4 years ago

Replying to @visakanv

you *could* say that self-respect is just the status you give yourself I can tell you don’t respect yourself if you waste your time and energy dunking on internet strangers

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Visakan Veerasamy@visakanv• over 4 years ago

Replying to @visakanv

self-loathing is an interesting inverted/shadow form of self-respect. the part that is loathed is scapegoated, but the part *doing* the loathing is venerated as an authority. This authority is illegitimate yet accepted. One can become a cruel authoritarian dictator over oneself https://t.co/KZo6f0MxIp

Visakan Veerasamy@visakanv• about 5 years ago

people don’t say this out loud as much but self-loathing is a form of narcissism https://t.co/wC3yCI0vmk

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Visakan Veerasamy@visakanv• over 4 years ago

Replying to @visakanv

A fun question to explore: “how would I behave if I were someone I respected tremendously?”

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Visakan Veerasamy@visakanv• over 4 years ago

Replying to @visakanv

❤️ https://t.co/8SlOYp441D

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Richard D. Bartlett@RichDecibels• over 4 years ago

Replying to @visakanv

@visakanv When high status people use their position to elevate others, yes. I think you do that instinctively. Other folks are maybe more anxious and feel they have to climb by stepping on others?

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Richard D. Bartlett@RichDecibels• over 4 years ago

Replying to @RichDecibels

@visakanv I don't speak te reo Māori so my translation is wobbly, but the word for "hospitality" includes a concept of host and guest reciprocally enhancing each other's status / dignity

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