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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthover 4 years ago

“Acceptance is never about accepting one thing over the another.” That is the mind’s idea of acceptance. Resignation rather than acceptance. https://t.co/QIECnlafQS

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abhay@abhayanceover 4 years ago

Acceptance is never about accepting one thing over another.The mind's idea of acceptance is closer to resignation than it is to true receivership. A sort of resistance towards resistance.It holds an aversion to the passiveness it imagines acceptance requiring.

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12/18/2020
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthover 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

“Why does acceptance hurt?” Because the hurt is already there. The pain and effort of maintaining a delusion, of grasping on so tightly so that we might survive, clefting off voices in ourselves so we might not lose focus — that hurts. https://t.co/PRDI7kIlPc

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthover 4 years ago

It hurts to not be with yourself. We don’t talk about this enough.

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12/18/2020
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthover 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

Acceptance doesn’t cause pain any more than what was there. It’s being with the pain. And sometimes, you’re not ready or wanting to be with the pain yet. And 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵’𝘴 𝘰𝘬. https://t.co/oBV86maRaY

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthover 4 years ago

Can you imagine not treating each and every part as a sacred (not infallible) part of your system? Couldn’t be me.

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12/18/2020
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthover 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

The mind wants to generate all these sorts of dramas. “Ohhh, if I martyr my desire to dissociate, maybe I’ll get something worthy in return. Ohhh!” Where does this come from? I have one hypothesis. https://t.co/4ZvZ5YbzMt

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthalmost 5 years ago

I think the reason it’s so tempting to be a victims to “parts” inside us is it gives us an excuse. We need an excuse. We desperately need to explain to society, to our parents, boss, the parent living inside our head—to any figures of authority asking—why we fucked up.

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12/18/2020
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthover 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

The drama is a plea to show your authority figures you ARE doing something. Can’t they see?? Gosh, I get chills writing this, feeling into the truth of how I still do this to this day. https://t.co/DXF3Itu7tX

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthabout 5 years ago

@ConceptPointer It can also approached in a dilapidated, “I need to fix myself,” so many problems, aah the agony of fixing them, stressed at whether the therapist can help you with them, believing they can help you with them, etc.

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12/18/2020
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthover 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

Would there be any such need for drama in a 1-player game? https://t.co/F1c3OQFe5u

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthalmost 5 years ago

Life is a video game. 📘 The Missing Manual 📘

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12/18/2020
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthover 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

Acceptance never really is about drama. (But here’s a way to respond if it does come up:)

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12/18/2020
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthover 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

If you find yourself performing the drama, that’s ok, go accept THAT and perform the drama even more fully, put on an Italian accent, make it even more melodramatic, till you’re in experiential, heart-breaking touch with the part of you that wanted to make it dramatic. https://t.co/JbhDfUHETs

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthover 4 years ago

💃 The Italian Technique

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12/18/2020
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthover 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

Dissociation too is coherent. The urge to dissociate, too, is sacred and worth respecting. Imagine not respecting that. https://t.co/R7tk2o2bll

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthover 4 years ago

Reminds me of that Godfather quote. “Don't ever take sides with anyone against the family again.” Never throw yourself under the bus. Don’t let anyone else throw themselves under the bus either.

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12/18/2020
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthover 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

Whatever is there is there to be with, and if “not wanting to do the acceptance thing” is what’s there, then that is what’s there to be with, undramatically. (Astute readers will notice this is as the genius of IFS.)

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12/18/2020
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthover 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

Remember this core principle. To diffuse drama into play: https://t.co/o50nTq15wJ

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthabout 5 years ago

When children feel sufficiently played with, they become a lot more cooperative. I find the same is true for inner children as well.

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12/18/2020
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthover 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

My goal—when you read this thread—is not you painfully and dramatically hurling yourself into acceptance. My goal is more choice and implit trust in the doings of your mind.

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12/18/2020
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthover 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

I struggle as I write this to write from heart instead of gut. And I notice this, and I smile. A little voice rushed to attack. A little voices rushed to defend. Another one noticed it all happening and let it dissolve. Previously . . . it would have only been voice #1.

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12/18/2020
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthover 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

Acceptance does not have to have drama, nor does there have to be drama about there being drama.

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12/21/2020
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthover 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

An example of drama coming up. https://t.co/dLOSDffZIp

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthover 4 years ago

@narfanator It’s very simple. I had of drama in my head about what it means to be enlightened and feeling coerced into it and wanting permission / for an unspecified “them” to give me permission or acceptance or something or the other. https://t.co/UIlFPT6ab2

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12/25/2020
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthover 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

We feel silly immediately after dropping the drama. This, too, is coherent. It literally does embarass us to admit we were being dramatic. This is why we sometimes overplay the drama and gently ease down. That’s ok too🐣

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12/25/2020
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthover 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

Drama = LARPing self to match what we think is expected of us. Self = the looking-glass self, when we think of ourselves how we think other people think of us.

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1/13/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthover 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

“I don’t wanna . . .” “Then don’t.” Cut through the drama of it. “Don’t. What now?”

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4/1/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthover 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

Maybe I will find myself wanting to brush my teeth, though tired, or whatever it is I had “I don’t wanna” drama about. “Don’t. Go straight to bed. What not?” “Actually maybe I wanna.” “Good :) Do whatever you want.” https://t.co/x7BCONGxYE

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthalmost 5 years ago

Amazing how I can turn anything into work. 💁‍♀️🤙 Calling my friends? 💼🤧 Feels like work. Got to get through it. Work is not the action you take. It is a state of mind. Work is whenever you’d rather be doing something else.

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4/1/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthover 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

Be with the pain there that is, and you will find yourself not so worried about judgment anymore :) You will see more clearly, and kindly, and with open goodwill, that comes from being with a heavy heart than shielding it. https://t.co/NBBdG1C41f

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthover 4 years ago

So perhaps this is the most actionable piece of advice. What already is: - I fear their judgment. - I don’t feel pretty. - This causes me pain. To be with: - I have pain around this.

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4/29/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthover 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

“Judgment doesn’t create pain. Only reminds us of our own.” https://t.co/jvAvh872UT

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthover 4 years ago

That I fear their judgment is not because of the judgment; it’s because of the pain already there. My pain already exists. If I am with it . . . strange, judgment holds no sway. Judgment doesn’t create pain. Only reminds us of our own. https://t.co/XJS4MJZKtH

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4/29/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthover 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

What drama is is convincing others of something we want to own. https://t.co/DCQAdoPAK7

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthover 4 years ago

Drama = LARPing self to match what we think is expected of us. Self = the looking-glass self, when we think of ourselves how we think other people think of us.

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5/20/2021
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Malcolm Ocean 🏴‍☠️@Malcolm_Oceanover 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth https://t.co/oP1E8tSKLi

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Sarah McManus@SarahAMcManusalmost 5 years ago

"...You don't want combinatorics at 2am; I am abandoned forever" - @Malcolm_Ocean https://t.co/5Y2RyUoiFm

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12/21/2020