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This course is really quicking my ass 😅. All the other online courses I've done, I've stayed in the realm of the intellect and that's my comfort zone. Here I have to operate from a different place and it's confusing, scary and emotionally draining 😄 https://t.co/jCjxZU59GO
I'm doing @fortelabs's new coaching course and we started yesterday. It's the biggest investment I've ever made in myself and I'm still not sure what to expect. Like yh I'm an online course addict but this is a whole nother level 😅 But I'm excited by what's possible.
I now get how I've stayed safe by expressing a narrow range of emotions, and mild versions of each. Try talking from the head, and then talking from the gut and you'll see how differently the 2 see the world. I also see just how scared of conflict I am...
Tired: sobSquad Wired: rageSquad 😄 Crying has been my natural method of releasing emotions while rage has been unavailable to me. When I cry the child is expressing its frustration, but when I finally expressed rage, the adult was saying I'm here to protect you.
This wk we're covering empathy. I often have to actively put myself in someone's shoes before I can feel how they're feeling. This bothers me because I want empathy to come naturally. Now I realise the reason empathy is not easy is because empathy for myself doesn't come easily
And the reason empathy for myself doesn't come easily is because I don't want to be seen as victimising myself. The more I see stuff like this, the more I'm convinced that our relationship with ourselves mirrors our relationship with others.
This week I learned that perfection is not binary. While perfectionism is dominant in some people, we all aspire for perfection in subtle ways. Like the way we want to be seen put-together, the way we get uncomfortable when we trip up on words. Once you see it, it's *everywhere*
So what's the antidote to perfectionism? Connection. Our brains desperately seek connection, but every time we want to be perfect in subtle ways, we disconnect from the others. We abandon the person we're talking to, when we try to be seen a certain way or fret about messing up
All of these symptoms, like low confidence, lack of self-belief, self-doubt, lack of self-compassion, it all comes down to *not choosing that voice*. Which leads to not establishing a loving relationship with it and therefore with myself.
I mean, I said it myself in my self-compassion post. If we don’t trust ourselves, we can’t truly love ourselves. Now I'm learning it again, but this time from a more visceral place. I guess I will have to learn this again many more times before it can become a part of me.
I've been learning so much about anger this week. For most of us there's a dominant emotion that we have not been allowed to feel (anger in my case, crying etc for others). I've learned how amazing anger could feel. It's been so empowering for me.
But damn I have such a backlog. Years of unfelt anger that to do these exercises I really have to force it. But fake it till you make it, really works. There's a part of me that feels "at last, we are in charge" and I can't explain how empowering that feels.
@Neats29 Yes!! Powerful stuff. I had some similar experiences with anger recently, you might be interested in reading about them: https://t.co/AHJCjSWfWe