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Letās do this again! Breakfast AMAs are so fun https://t.co/NfIak9PARh
The honest answer is that Iām a bit pathological about this. I have a rather compulsive need to surround myself with people I trust and admire. I think Iām overcompensating for feeling like a social outcast and misfit growing up https://t.co/KuEoMj0Dx3
So for me, socialising is part of a long game of building, brick by brick, a place I can call home. There are push and pull elements. It would be nice to be surrounded by cool people. But I donāt know if thatās enough to motivate me? Lots of things would be nice, after all
I think rather Iām motivated by a sort of fear. The world is changing pretty quickly. Iām not confident that my place in it is secure. I donāt have a particular ingroup or tribe that I trust to take care of me. So I need to build my own trust network, person by person
Aw yeah https://t.co/Frsd37UYbr
Ooh good question. Iām still in the process of it, but having left my first job (was there 5.5 years!), Iāve been thinking lately about how that had shaped my perspective on work, on what I owe others, what I owe myself. Responsibility and accountability https://t.co/Wd71xr2Q3U
My ex-boss took a huge chance on me by hiring me - I had no prior work experience, no qualifications, and on retrospect, a bunch of unresolved personal issues that affected my ability to perform at work. I was 22, broke, newly married and extremely desperate and anxious
I didnāt think Iād last a year. Somehow, I ended up there 5.5 years! If Iām honest with myself, the last year was not my best. I was starting to coast. I had hit diminishing returns on multiple fronts but I struggled to accept it or be honest about it with myself
So what I think Iāve been unlearning is my mental model of myself as a free agent. I think even at work in an incredibly open and supportive environment, I was using an outdated model - the student in the classroom. On retrospect this was a disservice to myself and my teammates
The next time I get a job, or get involved in any sort of endeavour, really - Iām going to be a lot more mindful of my own interests, of my goals, of my plans, of what I want to achieve, what I will tolerate and what I wonāt, etc. To do this I have to unlearn my repression
3. This is another thing Iāve been changing my mind about a lot. Iāve kind of cycled back and forth on this. There are different kinds of leadership in all sorts of contexts. First let me queue up an old thread https://t.co/OjWoVicfv8
First I thought leadership was nonsense. Then I thought, actually, I want to be Commander Shepard. (Mass Effect). Then I thought, shit, I donāt know anything though. Then I realised, damn, neither does anybody else https://t.co/JvXwaEp34E
I think thereās a quote from Tina Feyās Bossypants thatās like, āwhen I was a little girl I thought being the boss meant storming around saying āListen to me and do as I say, I am the boss!ā - but in practice thereās very little of thatā. I love that š
Leadership in practice is really about taking responsibility for a context and an outcome, and of taking care of people. Often it means empowering others and getting out of their way. I like how Benjamin Zander puts it, as a conductor: https://t.co/lcm76Be5LN
4. I am terrible at developing habits, next question š For me I canāt really change one part of my life without changing everything else. I woke up early consistently when I was in the military but thatās a pretty extreme method of habit formation https://t.co/qjy3lMzZOE
5. - Left handed - tall + big feet - minority race in my country - inarticulate in the minority language - book nerd + writerly - āgiftedā-schooled + not Uni-educated - no exes + married young - high openness - agnostic https://t.co/YrU5Gfkzm2
6. All my friends, eg you All my enemies, eg homophobes https://t.co/VrqlVVJHmT
@RichDecibels Idk if thereās any word we can use that wouldnāt eventually pick up negative connotations because itāll get weaponized by bad actors š¤ I can talk about how good leaders have helped me over the years
@RichDecibels https://t.co/eWJ7k4RtBT
I'm trying to find my one of my commanders ā Major Simon. Can't remember his surname. But I remember on my first day being posted to that unit, he personally came to visit me to ask me how I was doing, and if there was anything he could do to make my life better. Blew my mind
@RichDecibels https://t.co/vuEOaeeg7i