@eigenrobot
robot. friend. we came to make jokes, but accidentally built a liturgy footnotes at @eigenrobot_feet
the grownup tower
Joined: 7/11/2013
Archived: 10/24/2024
306.0K Tweets
92.9K Followers
8.9K Following
1.2M Likes
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fucked up thing abt this is that there used to be something that ate tigers https://t.co/0cVo3E0sk4
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In advance of the 80th anniversary of D-Day, I'd like to remind Americans that our oldest ally, France, maintains a noble soul. https://t.co/C9DTp12dKl
oh no women what is you doin https://t.co/2kX1N7PH64
less than a week since my wife left and already i have reverted to barbarism https://t.co/deSKvROssT
this is actually seems incredibly odd, culturally speaking sharing a meal is probably the most ancient human social ritual how did sweden lose this? i have to imagine the swedes once had it https://t.co/aTwwMSjcuN https://t.co/ez1BLlqOKq
this is our George Floyd moment https://t.co/cjq79DcfP4
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i showed this to my wife and she turned away disgusted and now shes not talking to me https://t.co/Sxljj2eXM2 https://t.co/O97NLuR9EL
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the best part about wifejak is that its origin story is, itself, extremely wifejak women be doing fun little projects :) https://t.co/GP23j2O2PC
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>through friends trending to zero dear god https://t.co/ms2PrAbJhq
(police press conference voice) Flaco was no choirboy https://t.co/pTnHx7Y3a4
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tired: visit country gas stations to find a wife wired: https://t.co/qN9WFHHJrm
is this design convergence or did they just steal the blueprints again https://t.co/MY4P9tfEVL
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they wont teach you this in college https://t.co/0meBZVIcXs https://t.co/hCKuAIGWCV
this keeps happening https://t.co/SKduO6EcTu https://t.co/FJHiiG7SMa
"i wish for peace between the protestants and the catholics of northern ireland" https://t.co/ciMDyZQsLz https://t.co/CcLkFR7O9c
>communist >irish buckle up you are about to hear opinions about how to manage food supply from the worst qualified person imaginable https://t.co/ePY13jGbUM
I TOLD YOU I FUCKING TOLD YOU https://t.co/WuECGWJ5bc
my wife is mad at him because he "doesn't understand what women want at all, he's just mimicking ryan gosling" and its working anyway https://t.co/zZAEmynoL0 https://t.co/EYASkM6lCf
one reason to be skeptical of 9/11 conspiracy theories about controlled demolition or whatever is that i worked in a building that was a miniature WTC, designed by the same dude, and they had to structurally renovate it after 9/11 bc they learned the original design was fucked https://t.co/XdKfn9f1UF
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the general refusal to use the new name for twitter is the greatest act of resistance of the information age
@TheAtlantic reminder that its bad on purpose to make u click
it wasnt until the 1980s that doctors were willing to countenance the possibility that infants can feel pain and they would (eg) just give babies muscle relaxants while they performed thoracic surgery on them https://t.co/55XUmdQmoA
people are reportedly enjoying themselves at the expense of british taxpayers https://t.co/kVkQ06ESyB
everything π is π monocausal π and π specifically π results π from π whatever π shit π I'm π on π about π at π any π given π time
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i dont know who these ppl are but this seems like a window into a sort of downwardly mobile culturally middle class zoomer hell https://t.co/TFiBhkYt9n
occasional reminder that lord of the flies was written because Golding read about boys being marooned and having a good time and this made him angry because he hated children so he wrote a book about dudes being assholes but no. irl, marooned bros on islands are chill https://t.co/kHOyrv0a9M https://t.co/mX1lfqNEqk
psa for autists shes lying do not do this to get laid it will not work https://t.co/nIPIspbuPr
idk who needs to hear this but your parents don't give a shit about your career they want grandkids and they want to die before you do
why are married people splitting the bill any bill at all why on earth would you waste time on this https://t.co/PIDB0pOaWc
b . . . based? https://t.co/R8FdzjTiTT
remember like 100 years ago when the smart set was convinced that sexual repression was the main cause of mental illness and so we stopped sexually repressing people and now people have created insane bizarre types of sex unimaginable to our forebears yet theyre crazier than ever
@amapichannel γγγγγγΌγ γ―γγγγγγγ https://t.co/cFiAYacDoR
don't over index on this tho my dad proposed to my mom when she was shouting at him and demanding to know where the relationship was going and he just said "oh i thought we were going to get married"
what if this isnt a leftward drift. what if its just nihilism https://t.co/QJ2bfcRa0h
if you haven't seen this its utterly bananas the scale of potential pwnage seems almost unfathomable to me idk how you even start going about fixing the vulnerability that led to this https://t.co/MdEv9cAcA8
old boss, great dude, worked at amazon hq a while eng team wanted a second coffee maker. theyre apparently like $10k he wrote up a doc estimating annual hours wasted waiting for the existing machine Γ average eng wage. obvs >> $10k the proposal was denied tldr short $amzn https://t.co/FtK0bGF693
AI wouldnt exist without decades of gamers whose demand for high power graphics cards fueled investment that led to the development of GPUs
insane wolf dude: i deliberately contracted hiv to get off british person: well what i am most concerned about is, i hope you're not going to use our taxpayer-funded health system to get treatment insane wolf dude: I AM GOING TO USE THE NHS https://t.co/M9ZJTNi0bN
this . . . this can't possibly be right? 3000 people go missing a year? in one mid-sized city? https://t.co/t1xpTSOYBC
people will really be like "you invented entire languages for your fantasy world? that pales in effectiveness to my strategy, writing an epic story about medieval tax policy" and then not finish their epic story about medieval tax policy https://t.co/VxRRWk34N4
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@Nature oh fuck off
everyone went on amphetamines and boom we got ai within a decade
are you allowed to do this incredible hack if so https://t.co/UabLEhGINZ
pov i'm running a retail business in a highly competitive market operating with a 1% margin and you've just told me i should "cut costs" https://t.co/v35ZOv9xVv
ever find yourself in a part of twitter you dont belong and its like the first scene in blade with the nightclub https://t.co/OXzgLv31lr
how do you do fellow straights https://t.co/ydjqogsOwB
if indigenous ways of Knowing are so good how did peoples who Knew Indigenously always and everywhere end up getting stomped by peoples who Knew Linear Algebra
this explains a lot about what's going on right now, for those of you who are paying attention https://t.co/WODsbDBbjm
no one even knew enough to tell him this was a bad idea and he didn't know himself i guess its hard to know whether the harris campaign is actually imploding or whether it just feels like it to me https://t.co/HWM8i30L1J
the decision by texas to mass deport illegal immigrants to sanctuary cities, thereby concentrating them in those cities to the cities' detrimental in a highly visible way, is probably the most effective policy innovation enacted by a state in living memory https://t.co/05bKtVhDaa
astonishing to me the boomers were able to psyop so many genxers and millennials into believing that having kids is boring and lame
could just build a nuclear plant https://t.co/g93XnZI5lg
i probably watched this clip 50 times https://t.co/g6UH4jCd9I https://t.co/9sksDlTV2Q
watched some of cinderella tonight it's striking how subdued and stately it is at any given moment there is typically one thing going on. sometimes there are zero things going on attention is always drawn to the most charming bits of animation https://t.co/LQrzHyBx1m
protip anyone who tells you that high prices are the result of "price gouging" and whose strategy for reducing in inflation is "urging" businesses to "lower costs," which they confound with "lowering prices," is either retarded or thinks you are retarded https://t.co/FBvCzCJ3do
i think its fine and frankly probably important to deport her https://t.co/Qy1oCFvxKK
hes never posted physique https://t.co/g7KYwCTdKp
i just dont feel right bringing children into the world to live in the richest country in history where food is so plentiful that our biggest nutritional problem is obesity and childhood mortality rates are near zero
hahahahahahahaha oh nooooooooooooooooo https://t.co/VtAhRVDpdL
basically one thing that's happening globally right now is that american ideological strains escaped from america. they're incredibly potent and while americans have been selected for resistance the rest of the world is naive. basically brain smallpox but for the old world
is SIDS mostly real or is it, mostly, a mercy diagnosis for when parents do something really unfortunate and their infant dies ive heard the latter explanation but not sure what the dark academic cw is https://t.co/7SdWSstR9d
the interesting thing about the 70s in America is that they were so fucked up that you'll never learn about all of the insane things that went on, and you can keep stumbling across fresh new horrors your whole life https://t.co/4aKpFf7rfG
these are the days of miracles and wonder https://t.co/5lwDyMkIfH https://t.co/wpGGced9zc
this is actually true prehistory: racist (autistic) bronze age: racist (jock) classical antiquity: fascist dark ages: integralist high/late middle ages: plays dnd early modernity: colonialist french revolution: gay 19C: hates the poor 20C: neoconservative https://t.co/UKCRpwtxOK
i would simply stop firing rockets at people who are going to come back at me with a 50:1 k:d ratio https://t.co/zMGP2G8OE5
nightmare fuel tbh https://t.co/IvuuN99Dmr https://t.co/agkfQ5jB7E
the most common reason straight men fail at dating is they dont actually like women
people are not ready for what is going to come out of this https://t.co/nIZUvSGTnV
it took me more time than i care to admit to understand which character was intended to be the protagonist in this comic https://t.co/0HJTBJhrac
you believe in monogamy? that pales in effectiveness to my strategy, feeling horrible after my gf has sex with someone else and tells me about it https://t.co/o8NNSudYjy
this shit is crazy @selentelechia we were talking abt this the other day, apparently it's widespread https://t.co/TkJgwCZKIH https://t.co/jYYSCV33PL
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lmao they're so fucked https://t.co/nogU5vkMgt
tfw peace and harmony i mean come oooooooon https://t.co/E7YXu9wYZf https://t.co/92fd9Aa3gt
am i allowed to say this is weird https://t.co/RxmU4xinSo https://t.co/JezcD40dTy
occasional reminder the rosenbergs were incontrovertibly spying for the soviets and their work led to such things as "the soviet union getting nukes" https://t.co/LSpLzDKYzt https://t.co/k3YHDYripn
video shows a dude attacking someone with a knife in london subway MP says "bring back train guards" everyone quote tweeting this is a british person incredulously saying "what could a guard do? against a knife?" i am reminded of our cultural differences https://t.co/NL78Qk5vmU https://t.co/h1cblnzuSS
genuinely curious what the endgame is for britain and for europe what's the scenario where they are not majority muslim in twenty or thirty years https://t.co/P34qgw7dVP
"left" is not your enemy "right" is not your enemy this shit. this shit right here is your enemy https://t.co/HTCQENMH0U https://t.co/DxLPmQ2i1L
there is something off about white people taking degree programs where they study black people https://t.co/eD2fyG2PTr
if harris fucks up the debate hard enough, like if she had a panic attack on stage or something. do you think theyd try switching her out i have a comedic vision of democrats accelerating through a line of nominees each of whom collapses in their first debate in a different way
there's something cruel about asserting that people dont differ in ability like. its cruel to directly rub it in someones face, but its also cruel to proactively lie to people when, be real, they either know youre lying or will end up damaged by believing you https://t.co/5OmNeUWWws