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🧵 Thread (20 tweets)

Visakan Veerasamy@visakanv• over 9 years ago

me: I love you wife: how much me: why this obsession with quantification wife: what gets measured gets managed

3.9K 902

4/16/2016

Visakan Veerasamy@visakanv• over 8 years ago

Replying to @visakanv

me: what's the password wife: ******** me: that's a very short and not-secure password wife: i'm a very short and not-secure person

1.4K 166

4/23/2017

Visakan Veerasamy@visakanv• almost 8 years ago

Replying to @visakanv

wife: thanks for dealing w the roach me: heh, wwyd without me wife: get another husband me: ... I meant if I was at the office wife: oh

1.6K 235

10/14/2017

Visakan Veerasamy@visakanv• over 7 years ago

Replying to @visakanv

wife: can we cross the road here? I don't wanna die though me: the trick to reducing the odds of death is to make eye contact with the drivers wife: I'd rather die

1.2K 123

1/5/2018

Visakan Veerasamy@visakanv• over 7 years ago

Replying to @visakanv

me: *reading a book, realizes something* me: *turns to wife* do you know what's wrong with me- wife: [nonchalantly, without missing a beat] yeah I know

974 87

1/11/2018

Visakan Veerasamy@visakanv• over 7 years ago

Replying to @visakanv

wife: this tea is too sweet and not hot enough me: did you just friendzone your tea

1.5K 239

1/11/2018

Visakan Veerasamy@visakanv• over 7 years ago

Replying to @visakanv

me: [mildly annoyed] lol look at this person doing me a rude annoyance wife: [offended on my behalf] yo what the FUCK? me: [slightly frightened and mostly aroused] oh wow you went all the way to the f-word that's hot

777 68

1/12/2018

Visakan Veerasamy@visakanv• over 7 years ago

Replying to @visakanv

me: *accidentally plucks a bald patch in my eyebrow* me: *seeking sympathy* I accidentally messed up my face wife: *comes over to look* wife: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha *wheeze* hahahahahahahahahahahahaha oh my god hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

750 48

1/18/2018

Visakan Veerasamy@visakanv• over 7 years ago

Replying to @visakanv

wife: did you tell your twitter me: ... wife: did you tell them that I am not a fucking monster and that I taught you how to use my eyebrow pencil wife: are you tweeting this now wife: not like that wife: no wife: you're so rude wife: excuse me you cannot do this

895 36

1/20/2018

Visakan Veerasamy@visakanv• over 7 years ago

Replying to @visakanv

me: did you know X and Y broke up wife: ha me: I feel like there are some things that predict breakups- wife: ya, me me: me: that is going on the twitter wife: why are you like this

683 27

1/28/2018

Visakan Veerasamy@visakanv• over 7 years ago

Replying to @visakanv

me: *says something stupid* wife: fuck you baby wife: ... uh to clarify, I don't mean "fuck you baby", I mean... wife: just read it in a different tone until you get the right one me: 😂

434 24

2/26/2018

Visakan Veerasamy@visakanv• over 7 years ago

Replying to @visakanv

wife: oh shit, I think X cheated on Y me: god fucking damnit wife: love is hard me: it's not THAT hard me: it's not like "sleep at regular hours" hard wife: lmao

514 39

3/6/2018

Visakan Veerasamy@visakanv• over 7 years ago

Replying to @visakanv

wife: i don't judge them for it. i just wonder how this fits in a framework of love. she was trying to make it work with X, but Y felt like a soulmate? me: well now Y is the new PITA, isn't it me: romance with X ended, now Y is my new PITA wife: you my forever PITA me: 😍

310 7

3/6/2018

Visakan Veerasamy@visakanv• over 7 years ago

Replying to @visakanv

wife: how much is a weekend worth to you me: i think a weekend is like $300 me: I would pay $300 to double my weekend me: but I wouldn't sell you my weekend for $300 me: maybe $600? me: I'm dying, is what I'm trying to say wife: ... I laughed and now i feel terrible

265 12

3/9/2018

Visakan Veerasamy@visakanv• over 7 years ago

Replying to @visakanv

wife: why are you sitting so close to the tv me: the playstation controller ran out of juice so I need to charge it wife: USB? me: ya wife: why don't you use your powerbank instead, then you can sit in your chair me: me: what did I ever do to deserve the gift of your genius

688 78

5/8/2018

Visakan Veerasamy@visakanv• over 7 years ago

Replying to @visakanv

Some examples of my wife's improvisations over the years – she's fantastic at avoiding functional fixedness + seeing new ways of doing things hidden in plain sight. these are just the examples that I remembered to save for posterity https://t.co/CCYpYm2aet

692 68

5/8/2018

Visakan Veerasamy@visakanv• over 7 years ago

Replying to @visakanv

wife: I don’t know how to live any more, can you let me die me: wtf no I just bought pizza wife: *laughing* you can’t just keep buying pizza me: and garlic bread

472 23

5/17/2018

Visakan Veerasamy@visakanv• over 7 years ago

Replying to @visakanv

wife: you and X belong to a special class of men who love their nuisance wives and encourage all their fuckeries. but how? why? me: it's more fun that way wife: why don't more men do this me: they're literally cowards https://t.co/ajlfKIHdxq

Visakan Veerasamy@visakanv• almost 11 years ago

4/ "you're giving away all the institutionalised privilege that give us unfair advantages!" Yes. Arm and equip everybody. Now it's fun.

157 18

467 54

5/24/2018

Jonathan Howard@staringispolite• over 7 years ago

Replying to @visakanv

@visakanv Do you recall which table cover? I’ve tried a few similar hacks but they usually haven’t played well with markers

0 0

5/24/2018

Visakan Veerasamy@visakanv• over 7 years ago

Replying to @staringispolite

@staringispolite It was just something from some convenience store downstairs, I think... anyway yeah it was a bit of a pain to clean off if the ink was left on for too long; ended up buying whiteboards after that. But happy to have found a way to de-risk the decision

1 0

5/24/2018