As I get older I realize a big mistake young men make with flirting is being too overt/explicit before they've established mutual interest
I think a big part of this is poor modelling: "I would like it if someone told me they found me hot, therefore she will like it too"
What many dudes don't realize is that most women and girls are constantly fending off unwanted attention from clueless dudes
Women constantly have to worry about men being weird, creepy, cruel, etc. It's good to be the dude she doesn't have to worry about.
This doesn't mean you're entitled to anything! If you think you are, you're still the problem. You have to be _truly_ outcome agnostic
Every interaction should be something either party can deflect, deescalate, walk away from w/o any shame or fear. Weird to have to say this
The weight of men's expectations (with the threat of violence behind it) is probably the primary reason for atmosphere of fear & distrust
If men knew how to be chill (truly chill, not fake chill + entitlement timebomb), gender relations would improve a lot. It would be fun!
I've glimpsed this in small groups of people where everyone knows&trusts one another. We can share doubts, fears, worries and laugh about it
