🧵 View Thread
🧵 Thread (31 tweets)
Cheaper to use human slaves than herd of goats.Economic incentives ruin everything.https://t.co/voCtSN6dwW https://t.co/IwgJFodXUx
Seriously though, gas engines are awful for mamals. https://t.co/FLZSYLReVD
This just in... also annoying: buzzing flies. So goats are out of the question.Here's a gun that shoots salt.https://t.co/IUKpBpCIAX
Oh wow, someone modded it with some laser-sights: https://t.co/4ogCckXjEq
My new life aspiration is an automated fly killing drone: https://t.co/HcB3eh9fR9
Or drone killing? ..."I built this laser bazooka almost completely out of scrap parts and broken electronics"https://t.co/1a98Gtdbyt
"boots in a dryer or a refrigerator or something but if those were my appliances I would throw them out so quickly."https://t.co/0Q5TgrtSnr
Direct causal links between my current anxiety and the colonization of the Americas. This noise is driving me loopy.https://t.co/7A9mx4nsUC https://t.co/K6QFnscrVK
Lawns were a mistake. https://t.co/OfWHbouKVv
Hell is: ridding a lawnmower being chased by leaf blowers.https://t.co/K0zEov4wT9
Dear @elonmusk after helping humanity w/ electric cars, can you solve lawnmowers? It's a tragedy of the commons.https://t.co/5Rwsj8MfMP https://t.co/Dlx2SMq8Rx
@elonmusk I'm serious. It would also help bootstrap the foundation of a swarm of tunneling drones for mars. Good synergy.https://t.co/cBI2zm4WgP
"the big picture, we realize mower emissions are only the beginning of what’s wrong with American lawn care."https://t.co/Un5d21E3Kg
Seriously though, lawns are actually a mistake: https://t.co/41MpHSs27d https://t.co/zpk6gqHvCE
Also worms are bad too.https://t.co/fUJL5Qb9DX
"1.9% of the surface of the continental United States, would be the single largest irrigated crop" https://t.co/DMQt4i2G8G https://t.co/Xc0pYefFLm
2016 statistics has home-service lawn care as over half a million jobs. ~9 out of every 1000 jobs in Vermont. https://t.co/hKAlnC68ZU https://t.co/15EWiaWknw
I can't find statistics on prison labor, but I suspect that headcount number is much higher. Cheaper than goats:https://t.co/kxGJ2rLSTk https://t.co/BSgLWflLHF
"The flock, which numbered 48 at its peak, saved manpower by cutting the grass..."https://t.co/pMP5POtHeO
"The sheep were scared of the cars that had started to appear across the District of Columbia in increasing numbers"https://t.co/g3CTMerC3S
We should breed sheep that aren't afraid of cars tho?https://t.co/s3pMDqawlJ
Seriously; we could selectively breed sheep w/ deafness mutations? Bonus: white wool for Whitehouse.https://t.co/dR8VZsGFxU https://t.co/fkGnqMHdNC
Heck, with some time and learning, theoretically you could do this yourself. End lawnmowers now!https://t.co/alP0Ti8Bh0 https://t.co/xs8S3CTDo0
When a layman is searching for solutions to problems that face him in everyday life, he uses the language at his disposal. https://t.co/HEYYRW3pGP
Ok, maybe I should find another option for deaf sheep that doesn't involve... uh... using chemicals to rape sheep. 🤮https://t.co/751bgUbcrj https://t.co/XuOBJ2dZeY
Alright, here's some non-invasive wearables that work w/ sheep's natural rhythms.https://t.co/uPNVHgJhJ5 and https://t.co/ecNY572398
A 2015 dating app for cows... sets a precedent: there might be a market for selectively breeding sheep as a service: https://t.co/2gPfB8z6ZR
"It looks beautiful and sophisticated. And just more lovely than a lawn,"https://t.co/WvHJClDenA https://t.co/B5SVl4QIjE
Perpetual lawn mowing. (seen via /r/gifs/)https://t.co/wAYiJJlURM