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UltimApe@ultimape• almost 9 years ago

I must have written 3 medium posts worth of rants about the current situation and how frustrated I am seeing everybody talk past each other.

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11/12/2016

UltimApe@ultimape• almost 9 years ago

Replying to @ultimape

Trying to absorb multiple ideologies, & balance models that people hold against other models is tiring. I feel like I'm angry at everybody.

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11/12/2016

UltimApe@ultimape• almost 9 years ago

Replying to @ultimape

So hard right now to maintain a veneer of Hope. Everything I've written is full of mean-spirited snark & indignation. I'm self-censoring.

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11/12/2016

UltimApe@ultimape• almost 9 years ago

Replying to @ultimape

Things driving me to write are also the things that drive me to have strong emotions. I can't tell what is a "crony belief" and what isnt.

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11/12/2016

UltimApe@ultimape• almost 9 years ago

Replying to @ultimape

The issue is while the rants are meta, I have no other context to express them. The ideas are muddied, but I don't know how to sanatize.

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11/12/2016

UltimApe@ultimape• almost 9 years ago

Replying to @ultimape

I have a nagging feeling that if I express them openly, and they do go viral, people won't take it as me questioning and playing with ideas.

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11/12/2016

UltimApe@ultimape• almost 9 years ago

Replying to @ultimape

Torn between curiosity if others think like me, and fear of stepping on taboo. Rants ultimately are emotional self-expression & exploration.

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11/12/2016

UltimApe@ultimape• almost 9 years ago

Replying to @ultimape

The frustration is amplified by the fact that it's tied to my identity; creating an anonymous version defeats trying to understand it.

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11/12/2016

UltimApe@ultimape• almost 9 years ago

Replying to @ultimape

Likewise, expressing rants in private would lose the larger social-cultural context surrounding the discussion and would also bias.

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11/12/2016

UltimApe@ultimape• almost 9 years ago

Replying to @ultimape

The models I'm playing with are socially uncomfortable w/out sanitization. I'm saddened I don't have words or talent to express them better.

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11/12/2016

UltimApe@ultimape• almost 9 years ago

Replying to @ultimape

I don't know why I care. I feel like I'm vacillating between screaming at the void and hyperventilating in a sort of panic.Life goes on. https://t.co/yo77K8UIr1

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11/12/2016

UltimApe@ultimape• almost 9 years ago

Replying to @ultimape

It's strange to think how nothing material has changed & yet somehow I feel a weight of thousands of other minds. A blessing and a curse.

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11/12/2016

UltimApe@ultimape• almost 9 years ago

Replying to @ultimape

I just watched a twitter account from someone I knew to be having issues rant for an hour and then delete their account while I was reading. https://t.co/mDwBwksCuy

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11/13/2016

UltimApe@ultimape• almost 9 years ago

Replying to @ultimape

The last few months of their gitlab contributions makes my heart break: https://t.co/hTtEBFAmpc

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11/13/2016

UltimApe@ultimape• almost 9 years ago

Replying to @ultimape

Don't let the world smother your flame. You're worthy. No matter what they tell you, keep that inside.https://t.co/QxGJsU7uZp

UltimApe@ultimape• over 9 years ago

This is a blessing and a curse. We're immune to group think, but we lack the effects normative social influence; we become outside the pack.

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11/13/2016

Visakan Veerasamy@visakanv• almost 9 years ago

Replying to @ultimape

@ultimape write an honest letter to a friend or child

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11/12/2016