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@caryatis I think this is a reasonable rule, perhaps even the best 'default'. But to a certain personality type it is almost painful to hear obviously false things being said - it feels like a slap to the world-model! I can suppress this, but I have to make something of an active effort.
@ESYudkowsky @caryatis Most people don't seem to have friends in the relevant sense, or at least most people of the social class I'm supposed to be a member of, but the friendships I want are ones where contradiction is only impeded on Gricean grounds.
@ESYudkowsky @caryatis Half agree but when there is an epidemic of needing to “be right” more than to care, while maybe the rule of DONT correct is too much , but rather at least “be slow and thoughtful when correcting in public”
@ESYudkowsky @caryatis The version of this rule I’ve adopted is “ask 2 clarifying questions before contradicting” (for high-level claims, not pure factual claims). This gets most benefits of both. And if I already know someone won’t have a useful clarification I shouldn’t be arguing with them anyway.
@RichardMCNgo @ESYudkowsky @caryatis https://t.co/BbldLexp1i
@RichardMCNgo @ESYudkowsky @caryatis I do something similar: ask the person to define the terms they use before I say anything. Far too often arguments happen because both sides are (unknowingly) using two different definitions of the same terms, and so speak past each other.
@caryatis https://t.co/rXcx9BzO4X
@caryatis yeah a lot of "why don't people like me???" kids are like this, they never learned not to make other people feel attacked, and they carry it into adulthood rule: before you contradict, ask yourself, is it worth it? then, ask clarifying question before doing anything else
Of all the many times i’ve been contradicted in social settings, *maybe* 5% of the time i got useful new information. Mostly it is info that is obvious, trivial, irrelevant, or “corrections” of jokes, hyperbole and flights of fancy
It is interesting to see the buttons this tweet pushed. Many people are very resistant to giving up contradiction, even as an experiment If you’re curious—try it! Instead of “you’re wrong,” say, “why do you say that?” See how your interactions feel.
@caryatis Establishing norms around contradicting well (eg without affecting social status) is highly preferable to the crude and uncultured habituation to compulsory validation so common within many US normie milieus, and rationalist communities tend to have a headstart with this.
@caryatis I stopped telling people when they were wrong ~12 years ago, and it kinda seems like that's made me feel less alive, more socially timid, have less personality, and not attract the right kind of people (those who care about having accurate knowledge)