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i learned something about agency when, on my second date with my now-girlfriend, i mentioned feeling cold and she about-faced into the nearest hotel, said she left a scarf in a room last week, and handed me the nicest one out of the hotel’s lost & found drawer
@_brentbaum lol I couldn’t help myself https://t.co/ZDsTPzslfU
@Thomasdelvasto_ @_brentbaum As far as the scarf goes, it's morally dubious, but the real problem for me is that she picked the nicest one. As for the agency discourse in general, that shit is toxic and reticent of the same kind of discourse used to justify vile atrocities in the past
@Thomasdelvasto_ @_brentbaum Such pieces of clothing never get picked back up, people are already gone and things just get auctioned off for pennies after a year or so. If the story has any truth to it, the staff knew something was up and played along because they don't care about such items.
@Thomasdelvasto_ @_brentbaum This is the only "agentic" thing I've heard of which is like this. They're mostly just "you CAN buy a plot of land in the middle of nowhere and build a popular tourist attraction using a few machine tools." Or something along those lines.
100% agreed and I'm glad that someone pointed it out. I think a lot of people see agency as an expression of disruption. Which is true, but you don't have to disrupt things in an immoral manner in order to express agency. We should have a word for that golden mean of free action and restraint.
@Thomasdelvasto_ @_brentbaum Yeah like temperance-guided action. The Buddhist temperance is a sort of "let it go". And the same is true for Christianity for a large part. But there is also the Christian idea of "take action to glorify God", which requires initiative.
@Thomasdelvasto_ @_brentbaum yes it is, but the idea is that gain you or society get from it (not freezing) is higher than whatever ills you cause ideally, the ills also come back to you (you had to sign for the scarf or something) so it's pareto optimal
@_brentbaum https://t.co/uAegz3eSf9
@_brentbaum Years ago my dad was at lunch with co-workers and someone fired shots through the window. A woman co-worker - not ex-military, just a total normie - absolutely leapt into action: she flipped the table and shouted/dragged everyone to get behind it.
@_brentbaum https://t.co/pFOB1B8nsy
@_brentbaum Letting your woman commit a felony because you needed a scarf is genuinely not something that a man does. I would take off every piece of clothing and give to my wife to keep her warm to the point of losing a limb to frost bite before complaining about being cold. Shameful.
@_brentbaum Wtf are you waiting for? Ice age, for her to get a torch that burns forever for you, before you decide to marry her? 😂 Now-girlfriend, it seems. https://t.co/FpuzfF20Pr
@QiaochuYuan @_brentbaum It feels close to "stealing" the food a supermarket throws away. Most likely you're saving it from recycling but in this case there is a small chance the real owner comes back. I'd prefer the honest version of just asking for an abandoned scarf.
@benson_perry @_brentbaum @QiaochuYuan I guess it’s likely those scarves will not be claimed but not impossible, it’s stealing a fraction of a scarf. I think there’s still something off about media piracy even if you’re not taking any material from the owner or producer
@_brentbaum @QiaochuYuan Fwiw, I've followed for some time, thought about replying in disagreement yesterday, but decided it wasn't worth the effort IME breaking confinement usually means getting more extreme versions of feedback others were hesitant to give. Hard to sord wheat from the chaff of course
@PageSeverian @QiaochuYuan appreciate it! yeah this is a weird one to be in the middle of. i don’t think i would have posted it because this feels like a high context thing, but im having trouble describing the nuance. first time having the internet disagree with me haha
@QiaochuYuan @_brentbaum Haha https://t.co/6CQsjrVtqV
@QiaochuYuan @_brentbaum https://t.co/m319XNR83z
@_brentbaum Everyone please go vote so i can watch the bars move and the numbers change, thanks https://t.co/Q9bBseWIlZ
@_brentbaum reminded me of this excerpt from an essay collection by my great aunt https://t.co/kiGt0VTsrE
@5matthewdub how would you describe it to the hardline, “you can’t trust her” or “lying / stealing is bad” folks? i’m having a hard time vocalizing it and it’s slightly triggering to a part of me i’m unfamiliar with like come @ me, not my girl
@_brentbaum @5matthewdub there's ur lived experience of who she is, what this story means to U, and other people's extrapolated stories about who she is from smashing the words in ur tweet together with their own life experiences
@_brentbaum @5matthewdub I'm like this and people can find it a little infuriating. I've been called "unbelievably disobedient" by a boss, but I was just picking from a wider range of options than he does. I built a tennis court on some land near my house last year. Wife thought we were going to prison.
@_brentbaum @5matthewdub well the stealing is bad folks simply have to educate themselves, and it's not on us to do it. people who think she lied need to re-evaluate what the word means. people who think she can't be trusted, have not developed real trust in their lives. perhaps only god can reach them?
Going back and returning the scarf the next day solves all these issues, then it's just borrowing a scarf. Hell, buy 2 scarves the next day and give them to cold looking people, if you really wanna make a dent. Complainers just aren't very creative, gotta play the long game folks.
@_brentbaum Obvious red flag but it seems low agency people are easily impressed. It’s like a girl being impressed her date fought off an attacker vs a girl being impressed that a guy was able to defeat a random dude he picked a fight with. Context is important too!
@ByrneHobart @_brentbaum i know your tricks byrne 😏 i see you https://t.co/pOfcCg39nv
@_brentbaum is this romantic? fuck yeah can this be a shitty thing to do? kinda does this imply other bad things about her? you’d have to ask imo what matters is what she says if you ask her about the potential badness of doing this, if she answers genuinely!
@_brentbaum “You can just do things” https://t.co/UpMEk8968J
@_brentbaum https://t.co/szXf68H0QB
@_brentbaum wow people really love to take any opportunity to show how morally superior they are lmao. how dare she take A SCARF from the precious lost and found drawer!!! also clearly no one here has ever been poor and it really shows lol. i think this is awesome and i'd be 100% charmed
@_brentbaum Ok so the reason people are mad about this is that they are, indeed, highly ethical people. But that itself is a protection mechanism -- "people can't be mad at me if I follow all the rules!" This case makes is visceral: what if she breaks the rules and I have to protect her?