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this is a new explication but it's been a common response whenever i try to reason with her "STOP SAYING THAT!!" i actually find this really encouraging because it shows that she DOES learn things, almost instantly, and is aware of it she is a natural doxastic involuntarist!
@eigenrobot While well-intentioned, more often than not this seems to me like projection of insecurities from trauma than actual well-researched and well-reasoned decision making Not a comment about you of course, I don’t actually know you 😅 just an observation
@eigenrobot I’m saying, “does my caregiver respect my autonomy?” is not something a 4yo knows or thinks about, they are literally dependent almost entirely on their parents. This is not a concern of theirs, and it shouldn’t be, because they don’t have a mental model of “autonomy” as such
Just because they don't realize it doesn't mean you can't give it and help them realise you respected it as they grow and come to realize it. Or indeed even if they never knew it could be a helpful feature for growth by creating less pain responses unnecessarily or in an unhelpful way
@AndersonAndrue @eigenrobot Objectively true. Children will of course push limits in search of their autonomy but it won't be found at 4 years of age. If we do our job right we help them find it. And if you're really lucky they find it ad still keep coming back to you.
yeah when I was four I would go off into the woods while my mom was in nursing school or at work I would escape my caregivers eyeballs any opportunity I could and often I got hurt because I didn't have the mental or physical faculties to be able to do the right thing I would often complain looking back if I hadn't had a caregiver tell me no there are times when I absolutely would have died
@AndersonAndrue @eigenrobot Not as such but they do run into all sorts of instances of the problem. I want this; I want to do this; but mom stops me, and because of this I'm ANGRY at mom. Why are you stopping me from doing what I want to do? Why are you preventing me from getting what I want?
@AndersonAndrue @eigenrobot https://t.co/YTsL4fVOZb
@AndersonAndrue @eigenrobot Well, that's silly, because the whole deal they're in the middle of is building their mental models. That's what we're doing here. She can't write a paper on autonomy, but part of the mental model she is building can be "that thing I have"